ihatemyocd
07-04-2006, 05:22 AM
-Brutal, disgusting murders.
-Obsessive Thoughts actually physically being 'stuck' to my hands (Ocd within ocd..who knew...)
-Brushing my teeth till they bleed.
-ANYTHING involving gross sexual encounters including incest, bestiality, or necrophilia.
-The idea of 'germ's or 'past experiences' from other people being passed onto me as a form of a germ.
-People lying about who they are
-People in my family being murderers/serial killers.
-My compulsions themselves.
And on that note...
Has anyone ever had a compulsion where you have to go through an entire disgusting act in your head and you have to 'think' it just right (and physically touch it in your head) before you caneven remotely let it go?
-Obsessive Thoughts actually physically being 'stuck' to my hands (Ocd within ocd..who knew...)
-Brushing my teeth till they bleed.
-ANYTHING involving gross sexual encounters including incest, bestiality, or necrophilia.
-The idea of 'germ's or 'past experiences' from other people being passed onto me as a form of a germ.
-People lying about who they are
-People in my family being murderers/serial killers.
-My compulsions themselves.
And on that note...
Has anyone ever had a compulsion where you have to go through an entire disgusting act in your head and you have to 'think' it just right (and physically touch it in your head) before you caneven remotely let it go?
Sponsor
Eve_8
07-04-2006, 02:36 PM
-I obsess constantly about my health
-I also obsess about my teeth and having no teeth, I fear people who walk around toothless, because I don't want to ever be in their situation
-Lots of things have to be equivalent to the numbers 3,5,8
-I worry about serial killers
-I am always afraid that I will die in a car accident, when I take a long trip
-I worry about people thinking that there is something wrong for me for posting on these kinds of sites.
-I feel like I am different then everyone else and if they found out they would judge me.
-I am scared of loud noises and the dark and I constantly feel like someone is going to kill me when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
-I constantly feel like people are making fun of me.
-I also obsess about my teeth and having no teeth, I fear people who walk around toothless, because I don't want to ever be in their situation
-Lots of things have to be equivalent to the numbers 3,5,8
-I worry about serial killers
-I am always afraid that I will die in a car accident, when I take a long trip
-I worry about people thinking that there is something wrong for me for posting on these kinds of sites.
-I feel like I am different then everyone else and if they found out they would judge me.
-I am scared of loud noises and the dark and I constantly feel like someone is going to kill me when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
-I constantly feel like people are making fun of me.
gotitbad
07-04-2006, 07:16 PM
Obsessions:
A FRIEND: I have had a problem since I was a teenager (I'm now 40) with becoming OVERLY concerned, needing attention from and constantly thinking about a friend. This happened in high school with a girlfriend of mine, then in college and in my twenties with a boyfriend who I dated for 4 years and untimately broke up with me but we stayed freinds, then with another friend for about 10 years who I met in the neighborhood where I was living and most recently for the last two years with a friend I met on a trip who lives out of town. Irronically, I never obsessed over my husband who I have know for 20 years or any of my other friends or family. Just one person at a time and I'm not sure why these specific people. I literally can't stop thinking about the person and wishing we were spending time together. I wait for their calls and e-mails. If I don't hear from them when I am expecting to I get VERY upset and in a bad mood until we connect. It is almost like a drug for me. I don't know how to break this pattern. I hide these thoughts from everyone I know including the person and try to act normal. But inside I can't stop the thinking and aching for attention from the person. I crave to know everything about them. There is nothing sexual about this, it is all just on a friendship level. Has anyone felt like this or heard of this? Please help!!!
DYING YOUNG: I'm constantly worried about dying young, usually either of a sudden heat attack, suicide or car accident and leaving my 3 little kids without a mom.
GOING BROKE, HOMELESS AND STARVING: I obsess all day every day about what I will do when I am too depressed and obsessed with bad thoughts and disabled to work. I will use up all my money, have to live on the street with my kids, and starve to death! Even though I have a loving family and some friends, I always picture myself alone with nobody caring about me.
NOBODY REALLY LIKES ME: I always think nobody really likes me, my friends are just staying friends with me out of obligation and worry that without their support I will kill myself. I feel like the black sheep of my family and that they only are nice to my because I have 3 little kids. I feel like a burden to everyone.
FOODS: I am an extremely picky eater and will never eat anybody elses cooking or any leftovers. Just the smell of leftovr food makes me sick.
Since I read through this entire post and nobody else really said many of these things, do I have OCD or is something else causing these continually thoughts to control my life?
A FRIEND: I have had a problem since I was a teenager (I'm now 40) with becoming OVERLY concerned, needing attention from and constantly thinking about a friend. This happened in high school with a girlfriend of mine, then in college and in my twenties with a boyfriend who I dated for 4 years and untimately broke up with me but we stayed freinds, then with another friend for about 10 years who I met in the neighborhood where I was living and most recently for the last two years with a friend I met on a trip who lives out of town. Irronically, I never obsessed over my husband who I have know for 20 years or any of my other friends or family. Just one person at a time and I'm not sure why these specific people. I literally can't stop thinking about the person and wishing we were spending time together. I wait for their calls and e-mails. If I don't hear from them when I am expecting to I get VERY upset and in a bad mood until we connect. It is almost like a drug for me. I don't know how to break this pattern. I hide these thoughts from everyone I know including the person and try to act normal. But inside I can't stop the thinking and aching for attention from the person. I crave to know everything about them. There is nothing sexual about this, it is all just on a friendship level. Has anyone felt like this or heard of this? Please help!!!
DYING YOUNG: I'm constantly worried about dying young, usually either of a sudden heat attack, suicide or car accident and leaving my 3 little kids without a mom.
GOING BROKE, HOMELESS AND STARVING: I obsess all day every day about what I will do when I am too depressed and obsessed with bad thoughts and disabled to work. I will use up all my money, have to live on the street with my kids, and starve to death! Even though I have a loving family and some friends, I always picture myself alone with nobody caring about me.
NOBODY REALLY LIKES ME: I always think nobody really likes me, my friends are just staying friends with me out of obligation and worry that without their support I will kill myself. I feel like the black sheep of my family and that they only are nice to my because I have 3 little kids. I feel like a burden to everyone.
FOODS: I am an extremely picky eater and will never eat anybody elses cooking or any leftovers. Just the smell of leftovr food makes me sick.
Since I read through this entire post and nobody else really said many of these things, do I have OCD or is something else causing these continually thoughts to control my life?
Eve_8
07-04-2006, 08:06 PM
Hi gotitbad, No it sounds like you have OCD to me. I also worry about dying young and leaving my son without a mom. Especially since I am no longer with his dad and he now has a new girlfriend. I obsess about worries of him thinking she is his mother etc...I also worry about being broke and homeless. And if my friends really like me and if they do why? I think OCD is basically obsessively worrying about a number of things from the most practical, to the most ridiculous. I am currently obsessing about my teeth. That is one of my big ones. I really fear being toothless. Don't ask me why.
Jen38
09-02-2006, 04:07 AM
Does anyone else feel totally out of control when your house is a mess. I mean when there is stuff everywhere, towels aren't hung up right, fingerprints and toothpaste on mirror, shoes not put away?
I can also obsess about relationships therefor sabatoging them and I have a hard time kissing if teeth have not been brushed.
Anyone else?
Jen38
I can also obsess about relationships therefor sabatoging them and I have a hard time kissing if teeth have not been brushed.
Anyone else?
Jen38
seriousperson
09-02-2006, 06:56 PM
I obsess about everything.
Except I think I'm too old now to obsess about dying young.
Except I think I'm too old now to obsess about dying young.
indecisivelyn
09-02-2006, 09:50 PM
I can't believe you mentioned obsessions sneaking into prayers. I used and sometimes still do have a tremendous fear of God hearing the wrong thing, if you know what I mean. I have somewhat overcome that. I just keep reminding myself that if he hears one thing he'll hear another, like a counter thought. So in a sense if your thinkig something bad your sort of thinking something good because your worried about the bad thought as soon as it enters your mind.
I basically say NO NO NO all day long in my head to block out any bad thoughts or feelings. If I feel the urge to redo something thats what I have to do. Often it's about how long I look at something and if I think of a bad number while looking at whatever I have to look at the object again or say no no or both...
I used to think I was soooo weird and sometimes I still do but at least I'm not alone
I basically say NO NO NO all day long in my head to block out any bad thoughts or feelings. If I feel the urge to redo something thats what I have to do. Often it's about how long I look at something and if I think of a bad number while looking at whatever I have to look at the object again or say no no or both...
I used to think I was soooo weird and sometimes I still do but at least I'm not alone
purplegirl1
09-03-2006, 02:54 PM
We all have OCD here, and we still doubt that we have it or what we are worrying about is an "OCD episode". And IT IS!!! that is proof it is ocd. I obsess too over money all Day!!!!!!!!!! It is terrible, I am ok at work when busy but as soon as I have time, I worry.. I worry now b/c hubby and I rent and I feel that we will never afford a baby, well maybe just me not hubby - he does not have ocd - (b/c day care is sooo expensive) and then it snowballs into then if we can eventually afford day care how will we ever afford a house... I can drive myself crazy with counting numbers and seeing if we pay credit cards off now then in this many years we will have this money, but if hubby gets better job..etc.... ahhhh!!! sometimes it can be 2 hours by the time I am done obsessing about it and adding #'s up.. and i have wasted time...
I worry about something happening to my family and what will happen then.
I worry about cleaning, when will I clean and then I feel soooo cluttered I want to throw everything out!!!!! it is terrible!!!! my hubby gets frustrated and I can't blame him, although for the most part he understands the disease but still how much annoying things can he take. I bug him abt. throwing stuff out - I am the opposite of a hoarder I want to get rid of things so I can have alot of room
I do worry about not having enough toilet paper, paper towels, toothpaste, etc....
I worry about something happening to my family and what will happen then.
I worry about cleaning, when will I clean and then I feel soooo cluttered I want to throw everything out!!!!! it is terrible!!!! my hubby gets frustrated and I can't blame him, although for the most part he understands the disease but still how much annoying things can he take. I bug him abt. throwing stuff out - I am the opposite of a hoarder I want to get rid of things so I can have alot of room
I do worry about not having enough toilet paper, paper towels, toothpaste, etc....
MissyS
09-04-2006, 05:23 PM
losing control and hurting/killing someone: usually a family member, my husband, sometimes my dog. This sucks, it makes me doubt my sanity and causes horrible anxiety. It makes me doubt myself as a person but I'm learning to get control.
Illness- fear that I have a terminal illness that I don't know about. i.e. cancer, aids, etc.
family health/safety- one of my family members will fall ill and die, that they will get hurt. again, causes extrememe panic.
Some of my compulsions:
Consistently rationalizing
praying
hiding objects (i used to have a fear that I would lose control and stab someone, so I made my husband hide all our kitchen knives... cooking has gotten a lot harder!)
Illness- fear that I have a terminal illness that I don't know about. i.e. cancer, aids, etc.
family health/safety- one of my family members will fall ill and die, that they will get hurt. again, causes extrememe panic.
Some of my compulsions:
Consistently rationalizing
praying
hiding objects (i used to have a fear that I would lose control and stab someone, so I made my husband hide all our kitchen knives... cooking has gotten a lot harder!)
MissyS
09-04-2006, 05:27 PM
Also, not sure if this is part of ocd but I have a super guilty conscience.
For example: when i was younger, i was very mean to my brother (name calling, hurtful remarks) and I still feel so guilty about it and have apologized but I still can not let it go.
Also - for my 7th birthday my grandparents gave me clothes instead of a toy and I kind of pushed the gift off to the side... I still feel so guilty because of that...
lots of other things I can't let go, but that are very similar to above.
For example: when i was younger, i was very mean to my brother (name calling, hurtful remarks) and I still feel so guilty about it and have apologized but I still can not let it go.
Also - for my 7th birthday my grandparents gave me clothes instead of a toy and I kind of pushed the gift off to the side... I still feel so guilty because of that...
lots of other things I can't let go, but that are very similar to above.
T1m
09-04-2006, 08:44 PM
Hey, i'm 16 and have only just discovered i have OCD, my sister also has it but is a lot worse than mine.
I have loads of really stupid obsessions but i think i'm very good at hiding them.
I worry that my trousers aren't done up and will fall down when walking in a public place.
I worry that my hair is curling and often find myself patting my head to make sure it stays flat.
I have to do everything in the numbers of 2 or 5 or multiples of 2 and 5, for example checking light switches.
One that is really getting bad lately for me is making sure my mobile is locked just in case i call 999, i can sit up for hours at night checking my mobile.
Also thinking that people are staring at me or talking about me behind my back.
Since i have found out what i have i have improved a lot at controlling these things.
I have loads of really stupid obsessions but i think i'm very good at hiding them.
I worry that my trousers aren't done up and will fall down when walking in a public place.
I worry that my hair is curling and often find myself patting my head to make sure it stays flat.
I have to do everything in the numbers of 2 or 5 or multiples of 2 and 5, for example checking light switches.
One that is really getting bad lately for me is making sure my mobile is locked just in case i call 999, i can sit up for hours at night checking my mobile.
Also thinking that people are staring at me or talking about me behind my back.
Since i have found out what i have i have improved a lot at controlling these things.
LonelyTraveler
09-05-2006, 12:25 AM
I constantly obssess over Rabies, AIDS, Cancer and other horrible diseases. I am a HUGE Hypochondriac (just check out some of my other posts!).
Every night before I climb into bed, I have to tap my right heel several times on the floor or something bad will happen the next morning.
When I take my morning laps around the block, I can walk either one lap or three laps but never two. Sometimes I don't want to walk one or three laps but if I walk two laps, it's "unlucky".
Every half-hour or so I have to cross my eyes and then uncross them so I can "compare" and see if I'm experiencing double vision which might mean I have a terrible disease.
There are many more. OCD SUCKS! :mad:
- LT
Every night before I climb into bed, I have to tap my right heel several times on the floor or something bad will happen the next morning.
When I take my morning laps around the block, I can walk either one lap or three laps but never two. Sometimes I don't want to walk one or three laps but if I walk two laps, it's "unlucky".
Every half-hour or so I have to cross my eyes and then uncross them so I can "compare" and see if I'm experiencing double vision which might mean I have a terrible disease.
There are many more. OCD SUCKS! :mad:
- LT
Psychobabble
09-07-2006, 12:51 AM
Gotitbad -- I also become obsessed with certain people. For instance, this past year of my first year of graduate school I became obsessed with this one female professor. I just wanted to be around her all the time and I constantly thought about her (I still do to some extent now). I too would develop a very bad mood if she didn't contact me for a while. I acted crabby to others but obviously I couldn't tell them why..haha. But don't worry, you're not the only one! I think OCD just picks out obsessions that have to do with situations/people that are important to you.
-I am obsessed with past 'wrongs' I've committed and I feel like I must confess every detail (even for things I never did...'just in case') to anyone I get close to so they know the 'real' me.
-I have trichotillomania (I pull out the hairs on my right temple area).
-I am obsssed that I am a 'bad person' and feel I must convince others of this fact even though it's not true. I also constantly ask for reassurance that I really am NOT a bad person.
-I used to have abhorrent sexual and violent obsessions and would pray in my head for forgiveness several times an hour. I even thought at one point that I should turn myself in to the authorities in case I might 'snap' and act on the thoughts.
I've had myriad obsessions and compulsions since I was a child. I'm sure others will manifest themselves through-out my life. But hopefully with therapy and such I will be able to gain control over it instead of letting it control me!
-I am obsessed with past 'wrongs' I've committed and I feel like I must confess every detail (even for things I never did...'just in case') to anyone I get close to so they know the 'real' me.
-I have trichotillomania (I pull out the hairs on my right temple area).
-I am obsssed that I am a 'bad person' and feel I must convince others of this fact even though it's not true. I also constantly ask for reassurance that I really am NOT a bad person.
-I used to have abhorrent sexual and violent obsessions and would pray in my head for forgiveness several times an hour. I even thought at one point that I should turn myself in to the authorities in case I might 'snap' and act on the thoughts.
I've had myriad obsessions and compulsions since I was a child. I'm sure others will manifest themselves through-out my life. But hopefully with therapy and such I will be able to gain control over it instead of letting it control me!
Ashlyn_82
09-08-2006, 03:22 AM
From what i see you guys obsess over regarding OCD .. some , eg, worrying about people talking behind your back etc.... it could have something to do with self confidence and low self esteem? and most probably more towards the introverts. seems to be that some introverts portray some of these behaviours/thinkings without knowing it. i've read a book on introverts/extroverts ..and their characteristics and all, seems to me that some of you do have it? i don't mean to offend anyone here
steveo23
09-08-2006, 08:08 AM
Hey Ashlyn
Its an interesting point you raise. Unfortuantely, anxiety disorders, OCD being no exception, go a long way to underming confidence and reducing self esteem, whether the individual in question was a natural introvert or extrovert in question before hand. I for one was a pretty confident, happy go lucky kid before the onset of my trouble with OCD, but 10 years later, self confidence is something I struggle with to this day. I would definately say self esteem is a big issue with OCD. Do you have OCD? (if you dont mind me asking)
Its an interesting point you raise. Unfortuantely, anxiety disorders, OCD being no exception, go a long way to underming confidence and reducing self esteem, whether the individual in question was a natural introvert or extrovert in question before hand. I for one was a pretty confident, happy go lucky kid before the onset of my trouble with OCD, but 10 years later, self confidence is something I struggle with to this day. I would definately say self esteem is a big issue with OCD. Do you have OCD? (if you dont mind me asking)
MizzMozart
09-10-2006, 02:40 AM
I am so glad to read this posting! I was diagnosed with OCD this past February. It has been a relief to know that I can get help, but still a burden that I had not taken action sooner in life.
The reason I say I'm glad is, I've never been sure what was and was not 'normal' for me. The thoughts that people have posted here are so much like mine. Its a comfort to know I'm not alone :) Here are the things I obsess over the most:
-- violent acts seen on tv (I have actually stopped watching tv)
-- constantly making lists of things I need to get done, even if it is years from the time
-- small sections of songs become the most annoying to me, because I can't stop them even when I pray
-- this one is the most embarrassing for me, since I'm a straight female, but I obsess over female models/dancers/porn/etc. My doctor thinks that it is actually a comparison for me, since I have low self esteem
--I feel awkward everywhere I go, like everyone is looking down on me or talking about me or mad at me
-- I pick at the skin around my nails; used to chew, but finally stopped that
If there's anyone who just wants to chat about their OCD, I would love to speak with someone who understands. Just PM me! :)
The reason I say I'm glad is, I've never been sure what was and was not 'normal' for me. The thoughts that people have posted here are so much like mine. Its a comfort to know I'm not alone :) Here are the things I obsess over the most:
-- violent acts seen on tv (I have actually stopped watching tv)
-- constantly making lists of things I need to get done, even if it is years from the time
-- small sections of songs become the most annoying to me, because I can't stop them even when I pray
-- this one is the most embarrassing for me, since I'm a straight female, but I obsess over female models/dancers/porn/etc. My doctor thinks that it is actually a comparison for me, since I have low self esteem
--I feel awkward everywhere I go, like everyone is looking down on me or talking about me or mad at me
-- I pick at the skin around my nails; used to chew, but finally stopped that
If there's anyone who just wants to chat about their OCD, I would love to speak with someone who understands. Just PM me! :)
Dayna21
09-10-2006, 04:26 AM
Hi Jen. I also have the same feelings, although I never really knew that I had a problem until I started reading the posts on here. I have a problem with my house being a mess. I have two daughters under the age of 2 and I find myself picking up after them constantly. It's to the point where I can't even sit on the floor and play with my oldest because I'm too worried about making a mess of all her toys. I find myself awake until 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning because things in my house need to be a certain way and I can't seem to get things done when the kids are awake. I arrange things such as magazines, pictures, candles and other personal items and everything has to be PERFECT and in a certain place or I can't think straight. Also, I sometimes have a bad thought enter my mind such as someone close to me dying or something else horrible happening and I just can't let it go. I have to continuously tell myself that it won't happen or I make myself have an anxiety attack. I'm also obsessed with what people think about me. Even people that I don't even know. Just people that I see in the grocery store, on the street etc. It's really scary and it's even more frightening not knowing what to do about these feelings/obsessions. Do you or anyone else have any of the other feelings/obsessions that I mentioned??