I guess I will start at the beginning. I am married,have two boys 20,18). I have been a drug addict for more then half my life and I am 44. My husband is an achoholic and a coke user(but he can put it down and not use foor long periods of time) but he drinks every day.For me a little is never enough so I am a binger. (binging right now)
My husband brought some home friday and there went 6 months of clean time. And know he is pissed at me cause I have no control--hello I am an addict. I don't know why he brought it home knowing what was going to happen.
The funny thing is we had been really getting along great we are seeing a marriage counseler and I was really feeling good about us.
Know were back to the same old crap--we go out of our wat to ignore each other, it gives him an excuse to come and go as he pleases.
I don't have the energy to go through it again. Its so obvious that drugs are what ruins it. So why am I so stupid.
I know I need to leave him,but I am so scared. He keeps telling me I won't get squat.But I just don't think thats true. I rarely worked, and I should get half of our home. If anyone has any advice please pass it along

Thanks
Denmarie

Time to make some hard decisions.I would worry about your addiction and let him worry about his.What about getting into a rehab????.....Dave

i would love to go to rehab. no insurance.
thanks for taking the time to reply

denmarie

I can kinda relate you I am a recovering 99% of the time lortab addict. I too have slipped but get clean again and hey I might slip again. I really hope I dont and I really try hard not to slip but I do. I find it funny how sometimes our significant others are just so totally ignorant when it comes to our addictions. I dont know what your doc is but mine are pills. My fiance takes them for pain management and I remember when I was clean for awhile he just left his pills out. I know not to temp me but temped me enough to take some. Then got mad at me when I told him I had a slip. Well lets see you know I have a problem with them I tell you all the time about the cravings YET you put the candy right there for me to look at and think about and just drool over, yeah right like I could even fight off that much temptation. If you get pissed at me for taking them KEEP THEM THE HELL AWAY from me then and we wouldnt have this problem or this fight to begin with!!! So I can understand your frustration and anger. bty if your on the mortgage loan you own half that house and depending what state and how long there are many other things you might me entitled do call a lawyer check around on the internet and when your strong enough to finally go find your happiness he will be EATING his words when he is supporting you still while you get on your feet. KNOWLEDGE is a very strong and powerful weapon!!! USE IT to YOU advantage!!! Wish you luck. Kim

denmarie,

What Kim said plus realize it is time for you to be greedy. By that I mean you have to put yourself first for awhile. You sound like you have the motivation so act on it. It's easy to sit here and give advice but you need to get away from your situation and heal. Parents, siblings, cousins, friends, find one and stay with them for awhile. It also sounds as if your husband has a problem with using and is using you to rationalize his own use. Deep down he knows he has a problem, as long as you use he negates his use.

Just a thought,

Al...