I'm 37 years old, and for most of my life was told I have GAD. Now, I have a new shrink, who is trying to label me as bipolar. I suppose it may appear that way....I'm currently feeling something that may be close to hypomania (but !@#$%! I haven't felt this good in years, plus I'm super-productive and willing to constantly dance to the Wiggles with my 2 year old! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif )

I've been taking Zoloft (50mg/day) for 7 months now. The doc refused to renew my Ativan scrip, and wants me to take olanzapine. I tried it one night, sure it allowed me to get a full night's sleep, but I was tired and decidedly less *happy* the next day, so I stopped taking it.

I'm not sure what to think. I do have a history of anxiety, bulemia, suicide attempts (over 8 years ago), and substance abuse (over 7 years ago), but really I am quite normal, LOL. I have 3 kids, a husband, a FT job (in a science field, no less). It seems too bizarre that I could have such a serious mental illness go undiagnosed all these years.

Anyway, I'd appreciate any input from all you wise folks.

TIA,

JJ

Hi Bee,

I have been resisting the BPD label for years--still call it my "alleged" diagnosis.

Problem with the (hypo)mania, which you say you might be experiencing is that it feels good, right? Every time I have gone that way, I have won kudos and raises at work for my productivity and people thought I was fun to be around. Plus my house was so clean from staying up all night organizing things. I have never been able to sustain the feeling for more than a few weeks. The sad part is that you eventually crash--into exhaustion, and, worse, depression.

I was given Zyprexa (olanzapine) for a month to stop the worst symptom I had which was not sleeping. While you might feel a little drugged in the morning, your body is better for having rested. Maybe your dose was too high?

Please check with your doc. Forget the labels for now at least and just try to get back to an even keel. There are some good chat rooms at about.com for bipolar disorder you might want to check out.

Good luck!
Lisa

One more thing!

If you do happen to be Bipolar, taking an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer (like Depakote or Lithium) could throw you into mania.

Like you, I lead a fairly normal life, am in a science field as well, and have achieved quite a bit in life. When the ugly depressions take over, it's so devastating. But they do pass, and catching it early helps me get the meds I need.

Good luck and I hope you're feeling better soon.

Lisa

Thanks so much for the feedback, Lisa. Yes, if this is hypomania, than it feels great and I just can't willingly give it up. I am so busy anyway in my life that being this productive is a *good* thing.

I guess I just need more evidence that this is some sort of BPD. I can't forsee myself crashing very hard into depression, because I have always managed to keep it in check (at least for the past 6 or 7 years).

Maybe this is unreasonable.....but I am a natural skeptic. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow, and will try to convince him he's wrong, LOL.

Thanks again for your reply.

JJ

Hope your appointment went well, Bee.

Diagnosis of mental illness is so complicated, but if you have experienced bouts of depression here and there and some hypomania, a BPD diagnosis is usally made.

Sometimes I think docs spent so many years under diagnosing BPD that they're trying to make up for it now.

I was diagnosed with depression for years on and off. I would take an antidep for a few months and then start hedging into hypomania from taking the antidepressants. Of course, I would stop seeing my doc and stop taking the drugs because I felt good and the whole cycle would start again in a year or two.

Best you can do is listen to yourself and use those around you like your husband, friends, docs, to help you monitor how you're doing.

Best of luck!

Lisa

Lisa,

Sorry I bailed for awhile. I'm just too busy. I spent a bunch of money, got a little organized, thought some great thoughts (lol), basically just enjoyed my mood....whether it was hypomania or not.

My psychiatrist decided to allow me more time to see if his dx fit, though he did prescribe trazodone to help me sleep. After a week on it, I felt myself sort of slipping towards depression. Not fun, though I still managed to get up, work, take care of the kids, etc. It's hard, but do-able. I'm not sure if what I felt even qualifies as depression--I've never been given that dx, even after 2 suicide attempts.

Can I ask: Are you on a mood stabilizer? Do you take it all the time? How is bipolar is treated, if it's not very "severe"? I realize the potential might be there....but honestly, I don't see myself as ever becomming non-functional.

Sad, yes. Unmotivated, yes. Unhappy, yes. And hypomanic, yes. But not to either extreme. I guess I'm a 'need to see it to believe it' kind of person.

And I think my good mood is returning. Yippee. There's nothing better than waking up in the morning excited to tackle the day!

JJ

JJ,

Glad you are feeling better. Hopefully your diagnosis is incorrect and you are simply leading a normal life of ups and downs. Diagnosing a mental illness is really a crap shoot. I was recently diagnosed as Bipolar II...at the age of 40 no less. I have been wary of the diagnosis as well. I don't recall having any real manic or hypmanic episodes so don't know how it could be BP. I have been on various SSRI's and other antidepressants for about 5 years now. I often have a hard time dealing with depression but never really have enjoyed the hypomanic episodes I hear about. I have always been very moody and when not on Prozac or some other similar med can "snap" into a bad, aggravated mood instantly for no reason. I believe that this was what made my new doc think I have BP II. Problem is that the Prozac seemed to handle the moodiness pretty well but not the depression a lot of times. So, I'm not sure where I am <grin>.

If you are living a "normal" life with no serious depression and the like then you might want to hold off before going on BP meds. But, from what I understand, most BP's love their manic state and therefore go into denial about a problem. So, are there any problems, truly? Answering that question might help lead you in the right direction.

Hiya Bee,
Sorry to hear that you are feeling on your way to depression. Trazodone is anti-depressant, by the way, in case you didn't know. It has sedating effects which is why you were given it to sleep. I have taken it too from time to time.

Yes, I have been told to stay on a mood stabilizer for the rest of my life. Depakote worked pretty well for me. Since I'm so resistant to this whole thing, I have gone off it and have been off it for a year with no problems. This isn't to say that I won't have another episode, of course, but I feel like I know when one is coming and can seek help if I need it. My case of BPD is pretty mild most of the time and I have only had about 4 episodes over the past 10 years.

Good luck to you and I hope you don't have BPD. If you do, please do get some meds because so much of the disorder is about being stabilized. For me, I seem to be lucky right now but the BPD monster could strike at any time!

By the way, spending loads of money is a symptom of hypomania. Take care with that!
Lisa