i been addicted to meds on and off for years. i have a new Doctor and i begged him to give me Valluim. i had 90 of them and they were gone in 4 days. i had Ambien (30) gone in 3 days. i was taking them in the daytime because they helped with Anxiety.
i have a script of Ambien CR that i have been trying to get filled for the past week and they wont let me because its to soon. today i feel HORRIBLE! feels like im gonna puke!
i know i shouldn't be looking for pills but they make me feel normal. they give me energy and when im on them people dont get on my nerves.
today people are really getting on my nerves! i just wanna go to sleep soi i dont feel the way i feel.
i also smoked Crack a while ago. went into rehab for that and pills. but i haven't touched that in a long time and dont plan on it.

i woke up last night screaming PILLS!:eek: !
i use to have crack dreams but now i have pill dreams!:blob_fire
im also on Lexapro and i no im messing that up by popping all these horrible pills.
i just need to vent. no one understands what im going thru! but im gonna try one more time today to get my Ambien CR filled. if i cant THEN IM GONNA BUY benadryl because that takes the edge off.
thanks for reading.
:wave:

Hi there,

Wow, sounds like you are living in your own private hell. I'm not judging you at all. I'm an addict too. I've done everything but heroin, but pills are the monkey on my back. Have you thought about going back to rehab, or checking into a detox? You know you're out of control. Maybe go to a meeting? I don't know what to suggest. I'm on day 4 of cold turkey off my pills. I know it sux. Being on them sux, getting off them sux. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there. I'll pray for you. I really hope things get better.

Debbie

congratulations on your 4th day!!;) ;)

cant go back to rehab because of my job and other things. i just went and tried to get my Ambien CR filled and i have to wait 3 days. oh well!
i work tomorrow and my mood will probably be worse then today.
the bad thing is when im on these pills i can think better and my memory is just fine. when im off of them i cant think,cant spell, memory sucks.

thanks Debbie and good luck to you also.
:wave: ;)
i do believe things to get better in time.

;) well my neighbor just gave me 5 Ambien to calm me down. (i practically begged her and i was embarrassed.
but i took one and i feel so calm righ tnow.
after i get my Ambien CR ...thats when im gonna lay of pills. i have to ween my self off of the CR. i cant do this cold turky like alot of you can on here . im proud of the ones who can do it because i know its hard.

:wave:

You can do it. You just have to get to a point to where you're sick of pills running your life. I think of all the trips I've taken, counting pills, getting anxious towards the end of the trip because I might run out! Oh no. Or packing so many pills that hey, sure I'll take 40 today. I have enough. I'm so glad to be over that. This is just day 4 but I feel so much better. I laughed with my daughter earlier, and it was a real good belly laugh. I wasn't half in the moment with the other half of my brain thinking of things I could and should be doing. I was with her 100%. The way it should be. Screw the pills. You don't need them. You can do it!!!!

im so happy for you!!! sounds like you been thru alot also. pills are something else:blob_fire

did you go they withdrawals if you dont mind me asking ?

well i just woke up LOL. slept 6pm until 10pm LOL.
well i do have 4 ambien left so 1 will put me back to sleep. plus i take over the counter sleep aid and that helps also.


i remember when i had so many hydro's i wouldn't have to worry about getting any for a while. i would have something to look forward to waking up in the morning. but now im on empty :eek:

:wave: