It's been a little over a month since my Mom died.
I still cry in episodes and know I'm not ready to return to work.

I know I should be grateful my Mom's suffering is over.
But god it's soooo hard.

I keep seeing her eyes looking at me the last time I saw her.
It was hours before she died and I said to her clearly and loudly
"Please go be with Dad- let go"
We love you very much and you're the best mother

She opened her eyes every time I spoke and once even gave me a look of
"Goodbye my daughter"

I just want her back once more to say more.

Why do we torture ourselves after one dies?


Although she was in a nursing home for almost 4 years and bedbound for the last 5 months-
I selfishly want her back.

I'm in such grief.

There's nothing like your mother
When will it get better?

Thanks-sorry for blubbering.

I have never lost my mother..I still am blessed to have her with me but last April I lost my best friend. She was 37 and I held her hand as she passed from this world to the next. She left her two young daughters and she never once asked why me. All I can say is that time WILL help but you will always miss her and you will still cry 10 years from now when something suddenly reminds you of her. Its simply the way it is. I do believe though that grief can tender our hearts and:angel: because you have gone through this, someday, when your stronger you will be able to console another. God Bless You

Hi-

In about 3 weeks, it will be 1 year since my Mother died. Like you, I am so glad she isn't suffering anymore. But, I miss her and think of her all of the time. My daughter was married 2 weeks ago and it was hard not to have Mom with us.

God Bless you, Hon.

Sincerely-

Rintention

It has been over 4 years since I lost my Mom. I lost my Dad 16 years ago and my best friend- husband 6 months ago. I can tell you that I miss my Mom every day and sure needed her when my husband died. I don't think you ever don't miss her you just learn to accept her body isn't here, but her love is all around you. All you have to do is close your eyes and picture her in the kitchen or somewhere where you were with her in happy times. She will still be there for you. Just listen to her in your heart.

Hi catlady,

My Mum passed over 5 years ago...I was lucky enough to have had time to talk about death and the possability of an after life with her many times before she died...this brought much peace to her...

Everone has their own beliefs and I'm not here to lecture nor start any great debate, but if you would like to try something it may bring you the same peace of mind and ease your torment...

sit up right in a nice comfortable arm chair, put on some relaxing music (not to loud), have both feet touching the floor, legs not crossed...then start breathing down into your belly, gently do not force it, breath out hard to start and you will find it easier to breath in nice and deep. After 10 - 15 min of concentrating on your breathing...start thinking about your Mum, you will see many images and memories of the past...dont dwell on these memories just let them happen...don't be afraid, nor dont try and hold on to the thoughts that come into your mind...

If you try this and feel comfortable with what you are doing...just put another post on here and I will take you a little further....

I got great comfort from this little meditation and it helped me cope with the loss...which is one of the most bitter to bare...after all, you only have one Mum!

Best Regards,

:)

My mom is still living but I lost my dad in January. When I read the part of your post about looking into her eyes it made my heart melt. When my dad was in hospice he went into a coma like state. He would come in and out but he didn't recognize anybody for the most part. But one time he opened his eyes and he looked into my eyes and he recognized me, I could tell by the complete love that was in his eyes and the small smile on his face. It only lasted for a minute but I knew exactly what he was saying to me jsut by looking into his eyes.

It will get better for you, your mom has only been gone a little over a month. Her death is still brand new. I think the hardest part for me now is the memories of watching my daddy die. I wish I wouldn't have done that but I promised him I would be there to the end and I was.

Please take care of yourself