:angel: I lost my father on July 5,2006. He was not only my father but also my best friend. I can't seem to get over his death.All i do is think about him and cry. My family is already saying that i should get over it but i just can't. He was the only parent that i ever had, my mother took off when i was a baby and he raised me long before there ever was such a thing a a single father. Back when she left men either put the kids with other family members or just gave them up but he did not. He spent everyday doing anything he could to make my life better and now i do not know what to do with out him.

When i try to talk to my family about how i feel they all say that i am on a pity party and that i should just get over it already but to me it is too soon to just forget everything he meant to me.

I want my normal life back. Granted that i never had a normal life but it was better than the one i have now.:angel:

Hi, I am sorry you lost your dad, I lost my brother june 27th 2006, in a horrible car/semi wreck. I have heard from so many people, that it something you will never get over, and you just learn to live with it, as hard as it seems. The other day my mom told me that I had to get tough and we just have to move on, well everyone deals with death differently and if they are lucky enough to do that, I am happy for them, I miss my brother terribly and I will not get over it, and it will take time to live with the fact he's left me, so feel what you feel and there is no right or wrong way to feel, scream when you need to, cry like crazy when you need to, this is such a sad time, I feel for you so much, be you and just try and breathe and get through the day, thats all I would expect from you, and that all you should expect from yourself. I am sorry! I send you a big hug!!!-Carolyn

Hello,
I am so so sorry for both of your losses.
Two months is not nearly enough time to grieve the loss of your father, so don't worry when people tell you to start moving on. Some people can pretty quickly, but most can't.
When people are impatient with you, try to forgive them, but ask them not to push you, that you'll get through this at your own pace.
(Hugs)

My daddy died in January and I am nowhere near getting over him. He was my best friend. I loved him more than anything. Allow yourself to grieve no matter how long it takes you. He was your world and you miss him terribly. I still sit and cry over my daddy being gone.

Counseling has helped me some. Maybe you could do that. Please take care of yourself.

I just want to say that no one can tell you how you should or shouldnt be handling this. What you are experiencing is a perfectly natural reaction to an awful event. I think it would help if you could focus your grief on something to remember him by for example scrap booking all the photos, making memory boards and boxes to remind you of all those great times you had. When my gran died years ago now my mum and I spent hours looking through old photos and the most unexpected thing happened, we laughed and laughed and laughed about some of the memories the photos triggered and I really felt like my gran was laughin with us. Your dad was very precious to you, and you to him so you know in your heart he'd want you to feel happy again. It will take time and perhaps talkin to someone proffessional would help but one day you'll be able to think of him and smile rather than cry.

I don't know if I can offer you advice that would help you in this difficult time............ but I can say that I know what you are going through. I lost my Dad on 8/14/06 and my family has been telling me for awhile that it's time to move on. But, that is something that I cannot do. Yet. Maybe in time

you will never "get over" it and anyone that says that to you is being very insensitive. I lost both my brother and father 19yrs ago and it's not something i will ever "get over'. Granted the pain is dulled ,I can talk about them and laugh about their quirks,I can remember the good times without feeling like my heart is breaking in a million pieces,but the pain of missing them is always with me. I lost my mom 3yrs ago..and again ...it took time to go through the mourning process. Let yourself grieve and don't pay attention to those who tell you to move on. I actually feel sorry for those people as i doubt they have fully dealt with their own grief and someday that will come back on them in many different ways. Hang in there ..it's okay to grieve for as long as you need to.

Will the pain ever end??? Good question...my Mom died one year ago today and I'm having a hard time. She died after a long battle with cancer and had to suffer way too long. I was her caretaker as my Dad died the year before from his battle w/cancer also. Life just doesn't seem too fair right now. My husband thinks I should just pull myself up by the bootstraps and get on with things. He's tired of me being so depressed and negative. Even today, he says to just remember the happy times. That all sounds good but once you watch your parent die, THAT'S what you remember...at least for me. Tough day today...

With a deep true loving love like this, you wont never get over it, everyday will seem like the same, especially when you start thinking in the past, and thats ok to do that, thats good memories that you will have the rest of your life, about all you can do is just try to go own with to live life the best way you can and greving is a part of life when you lose someone you dearly love.

I lost my big sister 10 years ago in a bad car accident(drunk driver hit her) she was my best friend and only true person that I was comfortable with to confide in on just about everything, we did everything togther, her and my brother-law were as one we all got along just great had fun and living life to the fullest..then that happen suddenly... my world tumbel to the ground, I never have got over that, I think about her everyday.
she was only 23.
So I just try to get by the best way I can and I know there will never be a person in my life like my sis was...it's a hard thing just to sit here and type this kind of thing but sometimes thinking bout the past brings me joy all the fun we had and crazy things we did.
I miss her but life goes on.
I wish your life to be better...God Bless you.

The pain never ends. Becomes more manageable? Maybe.
I lost my sweet mother/best friend almost 5 years ago and the pain
is just as intense as ever. I pray for the pain to stop, but it does'nt, you
just learn to manage it. Don't let people tell you how you should feel. They don't know the pain.

Hi,
It will be 20 years next year since I lost my dad.
He was a very special man, in fact he was my uncle who adopted me.
When I close my eyes I can still see him standing on the front lawn waving goodbye to me as I drove away. He died suddenly in his sleep two days later.
In front of me is a 38 year old photograph, dad's holding my baby son.
Dad so loved his grandson, and would spend hours with him
After all these years I still can not forgive dad for passing away.
Perhaps because we never had a chance to say goodbye.
Its up to you how long it takes to get over the passing of a loved one.
For some its weeks or months, for others its years or perhaps never.
Remember the good times.... Don't be rushed.

My dad died when I was 18 almost 10 years ago, it was such a shock I didn't even know how to react to it. He was this person that always took care of me and then all of a sudden he had a stroke and was in a coma and we had to make the decision to take out his breathing tube because he was getting an infection from it, that all happened in a week. At first I didn't have time to even cry about what was going on. Then there is the funeral and all these people are around and then all of a sudden everyone leaves again. It still was a few months before I really started grieving. To this day I still grieve for my dad, it's not like it was at the beginning it's more like disappointment that he's not here to see alot of the things I've been through. The pain will lessen with time but you will always have times that you think of him, over time though you'll smile when you think of him, not cry. That's how it is for me anyway. I hope this helps.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loses. In ten days time it will be a year since my little brother passed away. He was ten and i was 13. His death was the first experiance with death and grieving i have experienced and personally i don't think there is any right way or length your grief should take. For example my mum hardly did anything for the first 6 months and now she is almost back to normal, my dad is still finding it extremly hard but talks about it and has exepted the fact. But me on the other hand people think that i havn't taken the death hard. Hardly anyone has seen me cry over him and no one knows the pain im going through. I personally think it is very insensitive for people to say that you should get over it already as losing someone you care for isn't something you will ever get over completly. Eventully you will find your own way to deal with the grief but remember always stay healthy and make time for yourself.
Hugs for you and stay strong :angel:

I lost my Dad June 25th, 2003. And I grieve. But what I have resorted to do is what I call "putting it on a shelf". Realizing, my dad would want me to continue on with my life and make him proud, I put my greiving on hold and take care of business. Then when I feel the moment come, I will take it off the shelf and cry my eyes out....still!

No one can tell you about grieving because it is a different experience for everyone. Take your time and while greiving remember that living is just as important. Sometimes we have to just put our grieving on a shelf.

Spotcat - I lost my mom on July 11th of 2006 - Everyone has their own healing process. It has been hard for me-but I'm getting through it-if I have to I call a sis/bro and we chat. My sisters and I got together in Oct to celebrate one sisters b-day-and I brought all the boxes of photos we found as we've been packing up the house-we laughed-cryed-we also began what we're calling a "time-release" storage box-it has all their wedding photos and other things from when they dated/high school graduation/wedding and more!! After 3-4 hrs we still have more photos to go through-and we still have movies and slides to go through-and burn them onto CD's! This is one way that's helping me-besides talking to others. See if you can find a Hospice or a local church that has grieving sessions. Sorry I've taken so much time-these threads are something that help me! Take Care-(((hugs)))Cher