I just booked a flight to NYC for Sept 27, returning Oct 4. It will be interesting to see Mom again - last visit was in early June. I can't tell on the phone how much she may have changed or deteriorated. This is a good time to visit, before it gets too cold and dark and uncomfortable to travel. Last year we had snow here from Thanksgivng to Christmas and then not much more ... but that was unusual.

On the phone Mom recenly said 'life is too short' so it sounds like she is still enjoying what's left of hers. Her 98 b'day will be Oct 22.

Love,

Martha

What a beautiful way your mom is looking at things. But from what you've discribed of her before dementia, it sounds like that's how she always lived life, enjoying it to the fullest.

I'm hoping to take a trip to see dad around Thanksgiving. I haven't seen him since the end of May 2005.

I hope you find that your mom is still enjoying those little things that seem to keep her going like the fresh air and sunshine she enjoys.

You're leaving exactly one week after my birthday, Sept 20th. That was my grandma's birthday too. She was the first person in my family that I know of to have died of this awful disease. She died on my husband's birthday, Aug 10th. And I was named after my other grandma who years later became the primary caretaker of my grandpa who was the second person in my family to die of this awful disease.

Have a safe and happy trip, Martha!

Love, Barb

My Mom has been depressed for the last few times Bill went to see her. He tried all the following, but had no success:

"Mom was more depressed today than yesterday. I tried walking her in the walker outdoors, throwing pennies into the "wishing fountain", rolling along where the flowers are blooming like crazy. Only slight help. She's getting fed up.

Taking her out to eat at a restaurant is no good - very difficult and she'll hate the food - as always (Too cold! Too salty! The meat is tough!). Here she's eating less than she did a month ago.

Maybe you can think of something NEW we can do. In the cooler weather I'll wheel her around the neighborhood a little - she likes that, but there are few trees. I'll try to set up an Angelica (her great granddaughter) visit day also. Any other suggestions?

B

I suggested getting her a stuffed dog or cat. Is that too bizarre? She is not a great animal lover. I also plan to bring a book of German folk songs along and sing them with her (she has forgotten most of her old repertoire, but this might refresh her memory.) I hope just being there will cheer her up too.

If anyone has a suggestion, I'm all ears!

Love,

Martha

What about a girlie day Martha? Set Mum's hair in rollers, do her nails and all that stuff ... might make her feel special and cheer her up a little ....

Does she have any old time favourite foods?

I wouldn't go past a stuffed animal .. just because she wasn't an animal person pre-dementia doesn't mean she wouldn't like something soft and cuddly .. just make sure it's a really plush cuddly one !!! My ex-charge was never a big animal fan ('cept birds) but she LOVED her little stuffed dog that barked when you pressed his chest ... carried it around with her everywhere, let it watch TV with her, let it watch her eat dinner .. cute as!

I'll keep thinking ....

Maybe your visit will be just the thing she needs to cheer her up. Also remember that changed attitude can mean that mom is not feeling well. Have Bill mention her depression to the doctor.

My grandmother loved dolls. And what about some bright cheery things to decorate her room?

I'll keep thinking too.

Love, Barb

That's a good thought - last time she was feeling unhappy she had a UTI! I'll ask Bill to have the doctor check her out. Being in diapers, that happens from time to time and is always bad, even causes disorientation.

I'm also bringing along a joke book for kids. Mom always loved silly jokes, even though she can't remember them any more, and maybe she will laugh with me even if she doesn't quite get it ....

I will definitly polish her nails. Setting her hair doesn't work, she keeps it very short. But a new bottle of cologne and some new hand lotion should be good.

I also thought, well , maybe she is really getting tired of living. After all, she is nearly 98. It really is enough, already, as we say in NYC!

I'm glad I'll see her soon - a week from tomorrow.

Meanwhile I got up from the couch and had a sudden severe backache yesterday . Today it is a little better. I last had it on the 4th of July, again without having done anything to bring it on. Yesterday we had a sudden change in the weather. Monday the high was 80, Tuesday it was 50. That may have done it.

Keep the great ideas coming!

Love,

Martha

Martha, I hope you have an excelent trip, and enjoy spending time with your mom. :)

Hi all, I'm leaving tomorrow morning,:wave: and will see Mom in the evening, or maybe not until Thursday. My brother says she was in a good mood today. He has been bringing his granddaughter along to the NH; she is 1 year old and that cheers up Mom a huge amount! Her youngest great grandchild - she has 6 altogether, so far ...

I'll try to write from NY if I have a chance.

Love,

Martha

Martha! I hope you had a nice flight to NY. :)

Yes, I got here fine and I'm going to visit Mom this afternoon. I'll stay there several hours while my brother does other things.

I found out that they DID put Mom on an antidepressant. This takes awhile to kick in, but then she should be happier - she was depressed again yesterday.

I hope I can cheer her up - I'll give her the teddy bear, some new mittens I knitted for her for the winter, some inexpensive jewelry, and I have a book of German folk songs with me - she can't see well enough to read, but I'll sing them with her and hope it triggers her memory (she used to know hundreds!)

Thanks for caring!

Love,

Martha