Hello everyone,

It's been a while since I've been on. Things have been crazy with both kids starting school. Unfortunately Cara (autistic - 3 years) is not adjusting well to school right now and I am definitely feeling stressed.

The first two days of school Cara was fine - no crying, no meltdowns. Then, on her third day, she screamed the entire time she was at school. She doesn't have school on Fridays and Monday was Labor Day, so she went back on Tuesday of this week. She screamed most of the morning, but they were able to distract her once or twice. Wednesday was a little less screaming at school, but she started screaming at home as soon as I tried to get her to leave the house and get in the van. Then, yesterday, she started kicking me and screaming when I tried to get her shoes on. She is a strong little one! Today she screamed and gave me a fight when I tried to get her in the van to take my older daughter to school.

Finally, today I took Cara to her therapy and she had the worst reaction she has ever had. Up until this point Cara has seemed to enjoy her therapy and had a good relationship with her therapists. Not today. Today the session ended with a meltdown and a screaming scene.

I know she needs to go to school and I know the extra attention and therapy she will get there is good for her, but at what point is it no longer helpful and just another battle! I am well aware that adjustment takes a while and only two weeks of school is not enough to make a decision yet. However, it is very stressful for all of us involved.

I am sure there are many others who have dealt with this. What is the longest that it has taken for an autistic child to adjust to school? Is there ever an autistic child who just can't go to school?

Part of this is vent and part of this is looking for feedback on what others have experienced.

Thanks
Liz

Is there anyway that she can start off slow like just mornings for a few weeks and than gradually build it up to a full day, than more days a week? Or is it public school system program?. I started my son in daycare at 3 and did it that way, this year he started pre k and just walked into the classroom barely turning around to wave goodbye.

It is public school - special education. She is only going in the mornings - 8AM to 10:20AM Monday to Thursday.

Liz

I know it’s hard but maybe you can stay there with her for a couple of days. I am always worried that my son might be exposed to some form of abuse physically or mentally, I hate how I can not talk to him about things. But being there you can get a feel for what the problem might be. If it’s the teacher or her just being stubborn. Stay and help out but stand back and just observe your child. If it’s a bad teacher she can put on an act for one day but if you be a parent helper for a week, she will start giving you a bad vibe or her true colors will peek through.

Yes, I think staying with her for awhile would help. The teacher should be able to signal you when it's a good time to leave.

Every child is different, I've had NT children in my classroom who have cried for a couple of weeks. You know your child best, so I would recommend talking with the teacher and finding an individual solution that works.

My Zak who is also 3 will be stating school in the next couple of weeks. We had his IEP on Thursday. I am concerned that he also will have trouble so I am planning to just hang out at the school until I know he can handle it on his own.

Good luck. I hope it gets better soon.

My daughter screamed her entire first year of school (she was 3) - in the classroom, cafeteria, and gym. The principal or asst princ would come and walk her around the hallways or let her stay in the office, where she was well behaved. In the mornings as soon as it was time to brush teeth, she'd start crying and wouldn't stop for the whole day.

The next year her new teacher made her stay in the classroom and worked on positive reinforcment - you can have X if you stop screaming. She would wait for E to stop screaming, count to 5 and give her a reward. She still cried whenever I took her to school, but I was told she stopped within 10 minutes.

This year, she's in a new school and she loves it. I think she associated the old school with bad memories of the first year, so she still cried in the morning even though she enjoyed the rest of the day. This year, there's no association so she's doing great.

There may be one thing that's bothering your daughter or she may not be able to handle all of the noise, etc, that goes with school. If you stay with her, you may be able to see what it is that's bothering her and be able to help the teacher.