I lost my 35 year old uncle at the beginning of this year and i really miss him, i was soooo! close to him. He used to abuse drugs and i was scared he would heart himslef through it and i kept telling to get help but he didnt listen wll would you if your 15 yar old niece was telling you what to do? and he died because of it and i feel like its my fault and that i shouldnt of just stopped trying to help him,i should of helped him. i feel really guilty what do i do?
Jade age 15

I am very sorry for your loss. I hate to tell you that in life, you will find people so stubborn and set in their ways that they would not change them if God came down from heaven told them himself! Your uncle was that sort of person. Do not feel guilty. You are personally resposible for the actions of one person and one person only...you. And you sound like a very sensible person at that. Your Uncle was not. Addition is an evil many cannot win the war with and your uncle lost. All of us lose people we love very much. It hurts. I know. My best advice for adulthood is you cannot take up presious time worring about all the things (people) you have no conrtol over. You will give yourself an ulcer and never have peace. Learn from his mistakes and don't get involved with drugs they end up bringing more pain ...not taking it away.
:wave: Be well. Mora

Hi Jade,

Listen this is a really sad storey, but it was NOT your fault!

The fact that you knew what was going on with him, and was mature enough to tell him to get help, at your young age of 15 is admirable.

He knew what you were telling him was the right thing to do, if he wasn't listening to you, then he probably wouldn't of listened to anyone.

He was a 35 year old adult, he knew what he was doing, and unfortunately I assume didn't get the help he needed.

You are a kind young girl, and it is very sad for you, but please don't blame yourself, it is nobodys fault.

Be strong, and it may be good to talk to someone about how you are feeling.

:)

You absolutely are not to blame for this.
Only one person could have done anything about your uncle's behaviour - your uncle! Some people can be told and told by everyone in their life, but if they don't want to change, they won't. I won't have made any difference that he was being told by a 15 year old.

This is not your fault.

Jade,


Sunday Oct, 8 I found out a really good friend of mine passed away from drug abuse as well, I am very sorry for your pain and I know it has to be very hard for you right now, do not blame yourself in any way you tryed and you had no way of knowing how things would turn out and things like this happen beyond our control, you were very strong for trying to help. I am dealing with the same feelings right now because I haven't seen my friend for close to 2 years, I moved away and we lost touch, I feel that if I had stayed in touch maybe he would still be here because maybe he would have talked to me but yet then again who knows maybe if I hadn't moved we would have still lost touch so there is no way of knowing what would have happened so please don't blame yourself.

Just remember the good times and always keep him in your heart just as I will do with my friend and please know you are not alone.

my 21 year old son, was beaten twice this month and suffered severe head trauma over a drug deal. Although, I can be there and hope this his rock bottom, I can not save him unless he wants to save himself. He is fighting for his life, and I don't really think he is ready to honestly give up as that is life he has belonged in for so long. I have realized my unconditional love can't deter him to make better choices, love him for the person he was, not for who he became. I have already suffered the loss of a mom who drank herself to death, although Im angry, I truly believe her sadness and depression may have put her in a better place, because I could not prevent her from passing. Take care of you...your important. Your alive, and your real. Remember your uncle loved you very much, but he could not fight the demon of drug addiction and it cost him his life, but not his heart...Make a difference in somones life, in his memory as what Im trying to do, After 20 years, I graduated with a social work degree. I may not save everyone's life, but If I can save, one...I have accomplished what I set out to do...My son, we hope that he pulls through and makes changes in his life, and I will be there for him, but I can't save him...he has to do that on his own...take care little one, you have experienced so much already, smile..and live life,,as you never know and tell him its o.k...don't be mad at him...Im not mad at my son, and I let him know that...I look at him with his crushed face and love him more then yesterday, I just know now its almost like he is fighthing a demon,,but I can't fix everything, its all about choices...