hi to everyone
Just wanted to say hi. I just signed up. I am a first time stay at home mom of a 17 month old daughter enjoying mother hood and trying my best. I just discovered this site today and I think its great. Its good to hear of people going through what I am going through. Make sense? Not allot of my friends have children, they just find it boring to listen to me talk about my daughter.

I dont know if anyone has gone through this. But everytime I talk to them they are always saying that I dont make time for them and I am turning into a boring house wife (what ever that means). I tried telling them that I am trying. They dont have children so they can go out everynight or go shopping whenever they want to, sleep when they want to things like that.
I told them that its hard with a baby to do those things. I mean if she's sleeping or I have to feed her I cant just get in my car and be at the mall in 5 minutes. I love spending time with my friends but I also have a familly that I love very much and love being a mom. they also say that all I talk about is my baby, what she is doing like when her teeth come through, when she learned how to talk, walk.... Does anyone else talk about there children to there friends?
They also have maid a coment on how my house is always a mess. Really its not dirty but yes I do have toys, on the floor because that's what it is having children. I still talk to them everyday and try to go for supper once a week.
Hopfully they will realize when they have children but it would be nice to have some support from them. Sorry its so long but I just dont know what to do. It's really starting to bother me.

Nice friends..... sounds like they could use an attitude adjustment. I'm sorry to hear that you are not getting any support from them. I have some friends that just all together stopped talking to us because we had children. I would prefer this to being told that I talk about my baby too much or that my house is a mess.
You know what's funny!? As soon as they have children of their own they will realize how stupid they have been and come back begging for forgiveness! The growth and development of your precious child is probably the most exciting and rewarding thing you will EVER experience. Don't let them knock you down. Enjoy every moment and drink up the hugs and kisses! Don't worry about your friends. If they are TRULY your friends then they will still be there for you after all the "baby talk" and toys on the floor. Sheesh.... what do they expect?????
Welcome to the boards by the way!
I have a 26 month old son and a 4 month old son. I do nothing but talk about my babies and walk around and over their stuff! We all will be a good support system for you!

tbh i don't see much of my old friends i have out grown much of their out look on life i still go out with them monthly and speak to them on the phone but my out look on life is different now i am a mother. tbh i don't care either i have something more important in my life now my own little family unit:) plus i have many frineds with children and only a few now who are yet to have babys anyway

I had my DS when I was 23 and most of my friends were in college and going bar hopping while I was taking pregnant yoga classes, they just dont understand how different you life is once you have kids. But you know what I think is funny, I'm not as interested in the things we used to talk about just like they are not interested in the things I want to talk about now, you know teething,diaper rashes, and just how unbelievably adorable and perfect my son is. I figure this is just one of lifes stages and if they are my true friends they will smile and agree with me that my son is the cutest baby in the universe and I will realize that when you dont have kids you dont care about which brand of diaper holds in the explosive poops better. Someday we will find common ground and until then I have the other moms at the park and this board.
And welcome to the board!

Thanks for the advice. I think that if they want to act like that I do not have to explain anything to them, and I am not going to feel bad for being happy. I love being with my familly and my out look on life has definitly changed I dont have time to worry about a broken nail, things like that.Its like babby #2 said "The growth and development of your precious child is probably the most exciting and rewarding thing you will EVER experience. Don't let them knock you down. " I love just watching her grow and play, children are so special and grow so fast.
I think that for now I am going to back off and if they want to talk to me they can call. I guess that way I will see if they are true friends or not.
ps We are debatting on having baby #2 right away or waiting, does anybody have advice???
Thank you

Hello mmbss...

I too have a couple of friends like that but I just remind myself that one day they will have babies and understand how they turn your world upside down and inside out...! They will then be coming to you asking for advice and help...hehehheeee. Hang in there they will come round.

About baby #2, I have been thinking about when that should happen too. I haven't talked about it yet to DH but I have three more years to get the qualifications I'm after and perhaps if we get preggers during that time so be it but I just want to enjoy my dd for a while longer :D she is only 8 1/2 months old.

:wave:

Geez...some friends! Since becoming pregnant, I have realized that I truly never understood what all my other friends went through while they were pregnant. I was in my own little, professional life, world.

I have also realized that I never really supported my pregnant friends. It was just because I couldn't relate to them. I can't believe that some of my friends went through pregnancy and I rarely asked about how they were feeling, etc. ! Now that I am pregnant, it has opened my eyes to this whole new world.

However, my good friend had her baby earlier this year and we chat on the phone often. She ALWAYS talks about her DD and it does get annoying. I know she is happy being a mom, but she needs to remember that other people do not want to hear about every giggle and sneeze. Also, my pregnancy is very different than hers, so I often have to hear how she never did this or that during her pregnancy...(hers wasn't very healthy since she is obese).

Anyhow, my advice is to remember to talk your friends about their life. They may not have kids, but still remember to ask about their dating lives, work, family, etc. Just gossip from time to time! They still want to talk with you, but they don't want to talk about your DD all the time. I know I often have to make a conscious decision not to talk too much about my pregnancy to people are have not "been there" yet.

hi
I know what U mean. But the thing is I have always, always asked about them, how was the bar last night and things like that. Thats all they talk about, and yes I really do love to listen to them and I really do not over talk about my dd I will only say the big things like she learned to walk or stuff like that. They dont even let me talk about my life as soon as I try to say something they say "there goes the house wife". Or when they call and ask me to go shopping and if she's sick or sleeping they say " I knew U were going to ditch me'. If we do have something planed then I can make arrangment's.
I am not saying that I am mad because they dont listen to me talk about every little things that my dd does but it would be nice to hear them ask about my day's once in a while! Or if they know she's sick just for them to ask if she's feeling better. I guess they will realize.
Thanks