Tricky I very much appreciated your explanation about what happen to your body when you start to feed it again. It sounds like you have a lot of experience through the ups and downs. I'd be interested to know more about your situation

Also tricky, do you have any idea of a time frame in which it takes your metabolism to get back up to speed? Is there any way to speed that process up? Does your body hold onto everything...I mean for example. Tonight for the first time since i don't remember when i ate with the intent to keep it down. I had 1/4 cup of 1% lowfat cottage cheese and 1/2 an apple. should I be prepared for disaster tomorrow on the scale. I am so scared. I want to stay at this weight 102lbs, just without throwing up. If I work out more will that speed my metabolism again? I am terrified but trying.

I'm glad I can help! Don't expect disaster over some cottage cheese and an apple. How long it takes for metabolism to reajust is different for everybody, but is usually takes at least a few wks. I think you are missing my point, the weight starts coming back when you begin to recover, not when you decide to substitute throwing up with working out more. I know you want to stay at 102lbs, but do you realize that 102lbs is not enough for someone who is 5'7"?

Not purging is a good start to getting better, but I'm not sure you sound like you want to get better just yet. You want to stop throwing up, but you still want to stay 20 lbs lighter than you should be. Yes, working out will force your body to use calories and boost your metabolism, but you are barely giving yourself enough calories to live let alone work out!

Have you ever passed out on a stairmaster in the middle of the gym while you're thinking of the toothache you have from your most recent cavity? It is not fun. It's actually rather embarrasing. You wake up and see about 7 strangers staring down at you. All of them are wearing that "Oh, you poor sick girl" expression on their faces. Well, that's how it went for me anyway. Getting better is not easy, but you must start somewhere.

I really hope that your decision to stop throwing up is a step in the right direction. Can I ask if you want to continue to lose weight or if you want to stay at 102? When you decide you want to recover make sure you recognize all your little victories and don't beat yourself up too much over mistakes. The decision to stop losing weight in itself is a little victory. If you've truly made this decision be proud of yourself and stick to it. My advice would be to work out moderately. Some doctors will tell you not to work out at all. They may be right, but I disagree. I think that it's good to stay active, get out of the house for a while and keep some muscle tone. The key there is moderation. Spending 3 hrs on the treadmill just b/c you managed to not throw up your lunch is not recovery -- it is overcompensation. Work out, keep down ALL your food. Count your calories if you must, but try and increase them gradually. Please try and realize that part of recovery is gaining back some weight. Please post back and let me know what you're thinking, or email me. trickykiddie@yahoo.com