Hi, I don't believe I have an eating disorder, but I think perhaps someone here might be able to point me in the right direction. I've recently lost a great deal of weight (80 pounds) through diet and excercise, and am within a few pounds of my goal. For the last few months I have spent a lot less time eating than I did when I was fat, but I now spend a lot more time thinking about food than I ever did before. I even have food dreams sometime. I went off my diet for three weeks while on vacation as a sort of test run, and ate everything I wanted, and consequently gained 12 pounds, so obviously even when I'm at the right weight I'm still going to have to watch my calorie intake.

Now it has occured to me that controlling what I eat is just controlling the symptoms of my weight problem, If I could learn to not want to eat, I think the problem would be solved. Now I don't mean wanting to NOT eat, in the anorexic sense, but NOT caring about food in the buhddist zen "physical comforts mean nothing to me" sort of hollywood dramatization. If I could feel about food the way I feel about clothing, and look at it as a mere neccessity of life, rather than a pleasure, I think I wouldn't have any problems with weight control. My idea of the perfect attitude would be to look at my watch and say "oh my it's way past dinnertime, I'd better eat something".

So, the question is, does anyone know of any programs, literature, etc. that focuses on curbing the want to eat (and it wouldn't have to be just about eating, either, this would apply to any thing carnal), and getting into your own head? I'm not interested in a new religion, mind you, I'm thinking more along the lines of a "discipline" program.

Oh my goodness, how I can relate! I spend a great deal of my time thinking about food. I once took part in a church-based program called Weigh-Down that stressed the idea of food as a necessity and not as a pleasure. The idea was that God gave us food so that we could survive and that he made it taste good so that people would partake in it and not starve themselves. The idea was to eat only when you were truly hungry. (when you could actually feel your stomach growling and emplty) While in the program, I constantly thought about food and was constantly waiting to hear that first grumble so I could eat. I did lose a little weight, but I was more miserable than I had been counting calories.

I am now back to obsessively counting calories and find that I spend a lot of time "fantasizing" about my next meal. (i.e. "Well, if I don't eat breakfast or lunch and I pass on the candy on my co-workers desk, I can have a hamburger and french fries for dinner and still be under my 1200 calorie a day limit") It's a miserable way to live. I have found through experience though that if I don't count calories, I gain weight, plain and simple. I am not one of these people who can eat three square meals and stay thin. It's unfair, but it's just the way my body works and if I want to be thin, Ihave to abide by the "rules" of my body.

Like you, I dream of being the type of person who "forgets" to eat and has to make themselves eat a little something just for energy. If you find anything that helps you, please let me know. Good luck.