Can you be both bulimic AND anorexic?
I don't even know what my problem is anymore. I used to binge and purge but otherwise eat normally. Now I havn't kept anything at all down for two months. I don't eat all day, then I binge and purge. The binges arent even like they used to be, a bunch of weird things that I wouldn't normally eat. Now their just a normal meal, but I throw everything up. So in essence I havn't eaten anything for two months and I've lost 40 pounds.
So, any advice. What's wrong with me?

Yes, you can be both bulimic and anorexic and it sounds to me like you are. What's wrong with you? I think you know - you have a very serious eating disorder and need to get some help. It is not healthy to go for days, or months in your case, without eating. Your body will catch up with you eventually and you will no longer lose weight. You're metabolism will slow down so far to hold on to what little bit your body has left.

Thanks for the advice Maci. I don't know. I don't even feel hungry or sick or dizzy or anything though. Well, sometimes dizzy, but not usually. And I'm still not UNDERweight. So I don't think I would be classified as having a problem or whatever. And I go to therapy for other stuff and my therapist hasn't even noticed my weight loss or anythig so it must not be that bad. Also although i've lost 40 lbs I don't think I look any skinnier.

Hi JesChick! Funny, I just noticed we are both from Minnesota. Enjoying the snow?! Just because you are not underweight does not mean that you do not have an eating disorder. The fact that you are posting on this board is a strong indication to me that you know you do. Also the fact that you don't think you look any skinnier after losing 40 pounds is another good indication. People with eating disorders have a very distorted image of their bodies. It is good that you haven't experienced any serious side effects from your rapid weight loss or lack of food intake. Please realize that you will get to that point if you continue doing what you are doing. Could you try not throwing up your one "normal" meal a day? Eat something healthy so you don't feel guilty and try for one day not to purge afterwards. That would be a start. If you are not binging, why do you feel you need to throw it up? Are you afraid it will make you gain weight? Perhaps you should inform your therapist of your problem so that you can figure out the reasons behind it. Eating disorders are often about control, needing to control something. Maybe your therapist has noticed your weight loss. Just because it was never mentioned doesn't mean it went unnoticed. You may not look "sickly" skinny so your therapist may not realize how you have gone about losing all the weight. I apologize if I sound harsh in my responses. I am just concerned. I have been there and I understand what you are going through. Please understand that it only gets worse if you continue.

Thanks Maci. I'll try your advice of not throwing up the one healthy meal a day. But it's really hard. Even if I'm not planning on it, I still do. And yeah, I think it is a control thing. The reason I throw up even if I don't binge is cause I'm like -I've gone this far, and lost this much weight, I don't want to blow it now. If only I can get a litlle skinnier, then I'll eat something.-
I don't know about telling my therapist about it, I'd feel really dumb. Maybe I'll just wait until she notices and then I'll try not to deny it. So anyways, Yeah. Thanks for the advice, you're really helpful. I'll try to keep it under control.
I'm liking the snow. But I wish it snowed on days that I wasn't off from school so it would be cancelled.

Hey JesChick! Just wanted to see how you are doing. How is everything?

Hey Maci,
Thanks for caring how I'm doing.
I went to my therp today and she just out of the blue started asking me all these questions about eating. I don't know where that came from. It freaked me out so I lied. She said okay, she wasn't going to press me about it today. I'm mad at myself that I denied it, I could have gotten help.
Also I thought I had my mom fooled by eating normal meals around her and then throwing them up, and leaving food containers around and throwing the food away so it looks like I made myself something. And I thought she believed what I lied to everyone: that I'm losing weight cause my new meds have raised my metabolism. But today she was really mean cause she was leaving and said to make myself something to eat or something and I said there was nothing good or somethign like that. And then she says really really meanly. Well starve then. It looks like you have been lately.
What a *****! Thats SO not supportive.
Anyways....so thanks for the concern. I'm sorry this is so long. I'm venting cause I'm all freakin out.
~Jessica

I can relate to how you feel about your mom. I went home for Christmas and all my mom wanted to do was snack on different things all evening. She would ask me what I wanted and when I would say I didn't feel hungry, she would get mad and say 'You're no fun and start making sarcastic comments, like 'I don't know why I bother to ask'. Yet she would be the first one to say something if I ate too much! You can't win sometimes.

JesChick,

Hi. I kind of figured your therapist would mention your weight loss eventually, especially since you have been seeing her for awhile. She has seen you drop 40 pounds in two months! There's only one way to lose weight that fast - starvation. Don't be mad at yourself for not admitting your problem to her, you still can you know. Sounds like your mom may be catching on, huh? My mom got angry at me too. She would yell about how I was going to die if I didn't eat and then she would break down and cry. Your mom is probably just concerned because you have lost so much weight. I know mine was. I starved myself for about six years. The whole time my mom had to watch me deteriorate not knowing how to help me. You have a great opportunity to get some help from your therapist. You just have to be able to admit to yourself that you need it and that you want it. Good luck.

Hey Maci.
I think I still do have my mom fooled, cause she was talking about how my medicine is making me lose weight. So I guess she believes me again. But I don't think anyone else is fooled anymore. I guess I shouldn't have worn this outfit today, I thought it made me look bigger but I can't even coun't how many people at school today commented on my weight, not to mention all the people who were staring at me. And in one of my classes thats small and all girls, the whole class started interigating me. They were all like oh my god you're so skinny now and you've lost so much weight and just on and on. I denied it all but they just got mad and didn't believe me. And then I had two teachers and the school nurse question me plus my friends mom and my hairstylist. Yeah, not a good day. I'm gonna have to start wearing huge sweatshirts now. I'm gonna try to talk to my therapist about it on thursday 'cause I've been getting dizzy and passing out a lot and my chest hurts. But I havn't thrown up for three days. Although I have started taking water pills.
So how are you doing? Do you still have an eating disorder or are you recovered?
How old are you?
Thanks for the support.
~Jessica

Hi Jessica.
That's great you haven't thrown up for three days but have you eaten anything? Sorry about your rough day at school. I remember going through the whole interrogation thing too. My friends, friend's parents, teachers and the school counselor - so I can definately relate to that! I think I mainly hated the fact that other people knew how I had gotten so skinny and that I wasn't naturally a "twig" like I wanted everyone to believe. Why would you want to start wearing big clothes to hide the weight you have lost? Are you becoming uncomfortable with how much you have lost or is it to keep people from asking about it? The dizziness and passing out are NOT good things as I'm sure you realize. You are starving yourself and that is your body's way of letting you know that. The water pills may be contributing to the problem also. They are making you so dehydrated which will cause both of those problems. About me? Well, I am ALMOST 30, 5'5", 110-115 (depending on the day, of course) and a chemist working in a medical laboratory. I developed anorexia at about 15 because I just wanted to "lose a few pounds". Well I did that and then some. During my last two years of high school I don't think I ever weighed over 100 pounds, sometimes under 90. I "thrived" on people telling me how thin I was. My mom threatened to not let me go away to college if I didn't start eating - which I did but hated it. I got better when I went away to school. I think the fact that I didn't have any control over my life at home was a major contributor to my problem. My parents were very protective and my mom was an extreme perfectionist and I was somewhat of a "wild child". What I ate was the only thing I had any control over - or so I thought at the time. I still struggle with it which is why I come here. It helps to know other people have the same concerns I do and also reinforces for me how far I have come in recovering from my anorexia. I don't think it will ever go away completely but I think I have a decent way of dealing with it so that it doesn't consume my life. I eat healthy, exercise and stay off the scale. Sorry this has gotten so long. It's rather difficult to sum up one's life in a couple of paragraphs. Hope you are doing well!

Hey Maci,
Yeah, no throwing up, but yeah, no eating either. I've been really sick the last few days. I havn't gone to school. My throat hurts too much to throw up.
I'm glad to hear that you're doing a lot better with your problem. It sounds like we have a lot in common, or at least when you were my age. That's interesting that you're a chemist. Is that a fun job?
I like people telling me how thin I look but it also sort of makes me uncomfortable 'cause I don't want them to know why. So thats why I think I should wear baggier clothes. And its all my mom can talk about anymore and its getting really annoying. So yeah, I'm sick, so I'm gonna go to sleep now.
Have a good day! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Jessica

Jessica,
Hi! Good to hear from you. Hope you are feeling better. Yeah, I love being a chemist. My job is really interesting so I never get bored at work. What does your mom say about your weight? Do you think she knows or does she still think it's the medication? Can I ask what type of medication you are taking? I was on antidepressants for a few years but went off recently to see if I could do without. Besides, they made me GAIN weight which was really depressing. I'm sure you can imagine what a bummer that was! Well, just wanted to "Hi". Hope you feel better!!!

Your notes on this board make me really nervous and concerned for you. You need to talk to your mom so she can help you. You could die from anorexia. It destroys your body slowly. You need iron and certain nutrients so that your body can sustain itself. Please don't kill yourself this way. Is it really that important to be thin? It won't be important if it kills you. I used to starve myself and throwup and all that stuff and stopped. It becomes a gross habit that you can't stop by yourself. Please talk to the people who are trying to help you on this. You sound like too nice a person for this world to lose you.

I am afraid its more than a habit, its an illness just like any other mental illness.
People very seldom quit without therapy and even then it is difficult. More girls die and are damaged by these illnesses every year. It can be attributed to the media and the clothing manufactures. The sad thing is most (almost all men) like girls with meat on their bones with curves and breasts) I have yet to meet or talk to one man or teenage boy who liked skinny girls.
Peace