Fiona84
09-18-2006, 01:09 AM
Hi everyone,
I have been married 2 years, I will be 23 soon and my dear hubby is 25. I'm not quite done with college but am on my way, and DH has a decent, not great, job.
We are both getting that "baby fever", and though I didn't think it would happen this soon, it really has.
I hear people say how expensive it is to have a child, and to WAIT, but at the same time we both want to follow our hearts, which are telling us we are ready.
Many women in my church have babies really young (younger than me, straight after the honeymoon at 20 in many cases), and I always wondered why they didn't wait. I thought I'd want to wait much longer than I do. :rolleyes: I guess somethings can't be explained.
I guess my question is, are there many young mothers-to-be on here, and how did you know when it was the right time?
Sorry if this is the wrong board. On Pregnancy, you have to already be pregnant to post.
I have been married 2 years, I will be 23 soon and my dear hubby is 25. I'm not quite done with college but am on my way, and DH has a decent, not great, job.
We are both getting that "baby fever", and though I didn't think it would happen this soon, it really has.
I hear people say how expensive it is to have a child, and to WAIT, but at the same time we both want to follow our hearts, which are telling us we are ready.
Many women in my church have babies really young (younger than me, straight after the honeymoon at 20 in many cases), and I always wondered why they didn't wait. I thought I'd want to wait much longer than I do. :rolleyes: I guess somethings can't be explained.
I guess my question is, are there many young mothers-to-be on here, and how did you know when it was the right time?
Sorry if this is the wrong board. On Pregnancy, you have to already be pregnant to post.
Sponsor
aliciaheart04
09-18-2006, 04:07 AM
Hi Fiona :wave:
I am not pregnant but I wanted to say something to you. I am going to be 21 in november. My DH and I have been ttc for a little over two years so I was 18 almost 19 when we started trying. Age is just a number hun. Yes having a baby is expensive. Most of my friends are either pregnant or have had there children and they are all doing it without any help from their parents or anything else and there babies don't go without. So if you think you are to young or you think your age is a problem don't worry about it. As long as you can put food in the babies tummy and keep that baby warm and give it lots and lots of love that is all that matters. I am sure that there are other people who feel differently that you should wait. But I am going to tell you what my grandmother told me. No matter how much money you make(unless you are a millionaire) you are never finacially ready for a baby. It sounds to me like you and you DH want to start a family and you want a child to love and to take care of and there is nothing wrong with that in my eyes. I haven't had anyone tell me to wait because they know that my dh and I will be great parents, even with how old we are. My DH is going to be 23 in October. All I have to say is follow your heart and if this is really what you and your DH want then GO FOR IT!!!
I hope that helps
Your Young TTC Buddy
Alicia
I am not pregnant but I wanted to say something to you. I am going to be 21 in november. My DH and I have been ttc for a little over two years so I was 18 almost 19 when we started trying. Age is just a number hun. Yes having a baby is expensive. Most of my friends are either pregnant or have had there children and they are all doing it without any help from their parents or anything else and there babies don't go without. So if you think you are to young or you think your age is a problem don't worry about it. As long as you can put food in the babies tummy and keep that baby warm and give it lots and lots of love that is all that matters. I am sure that there are other people who feel differently that you should wait. But I am going to tell you what my grandmother told me. No matter how much money you make(unless you are a millionaire) you are never finacially ready for a baby. It sounds to me like you and you DH want to start a family and you want a child to love and to take care of and there is nothing wrong with that in my eyes. I haven't had anyone tell me to wait because they know that my dh and I will be great parents, even with how old we are. My DH is going to be 23 in October. All I have to say is follow your heart and if this is really what you and your DH want then GO FOR IT!!!
I hope that helps
Your Young TTC Buddy
Alicia
fallen_angel
09-18-2006, 07:58 AM
I agree with Alicia.
I dont think there is ever anyone who can stand up and say they are 100% ready, financially and everything else, for a baby. There's no such thing as a perfect sitution. The most important thing is that you feel ready in your heart and its what you want, which it sounds as though it is.
I have a lot of friends who have had children very young. ive got to say most of them didnt plan their pregnancies at that age, but they are still great mums.
I think it sounds like you will be fantastic parents and you have obviously thought about this, so i would follow your heart
I dont think there is ever anyone who can stand up and say they are 100% ready, financially and everything else, for a baby. There's no such thing as a perfect sitution. The most important thing is that you feel ready in your heart and its what you want, which it sounds as though it is.
I have a lot of friends who have had children very young. ive got to say most of them didnt plan their pregnancies at that age, but they are still great mums.
I think it sounds like you will be fantastic parents and you have obviously thought about this, so i would follow your heart
GoldenMom
09-18-2006, 09:37 AM
Actually I don't think that 23 is all that young for a pregnancy! It seems like you have your life in order -- you are married, you are almost done with college, and your DH as a decent job. In the US the average age to have a first child is between 25 and 29, but up until now, the average was always in the early 20's.
I am almost 27 and TTC. I hadn't found the right person to marry at age 23 or I would already have a child or two!! :)
Wishing you the best!
I am almost 27 and TTC. I hadn't found the right person to marry at age 23 or I would already have a child or two!! :)
Wishing you the best!
eurokelly
09-18-2006, 10:07 AM
Hi Fiona,
I agree as well! You sound like you have thought things through and considered whether it is the right thing for you at this point which is a lot more than many women do whatever their age! I just turned 30, have been married 6 years and wish we had TTC years ago! We did have good reasons for waiting but still, now I realise how much time we have wasted when we would have loved 3 or 4 children. In the UK the average age for women having their 1st is 29, but when you think how many women hit a brick wall these days in terms of fertility problems I think the trend may start to reverse again...
Good luck, I hope it all works out for you!
Kelly
I agree as well! You sound like you have thought things through and considered whether it is the right thing for you at this point which is a lot more than many women do whatever their age! I just turned 30, have been married 6 years and wish we had TTC years ago! We did have good reasons for waiting but still, now I realise how much time we have wasted when we would have loved 3 or 4 children. In the UK the average age for women having their 1st is 29, but when you think how many women hit a brick wall these days in terms of fertility problems I think the trend may start to reverse again...
Good luck, I hope it all works out for you!
Kelly
Fiona84
09-18-2006, 01:54 PM
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement!
It's good to know you don't have to be "rich" to make it work, I guess that was our most major concern.
eurokelly, thats very interesting about the UK isn't it. My husband is British and we lived there a few years and I feel it is EASIER to have a baby over there since the government helps you out so much more financially, with gov't maternity leave,a stipidend just for having a baby in the first place, and child tax benefit. I suppose it has more to do with culture why people wait. But I was like, "We're moving back to the UK for this so we can have free health care!" ;) but I know that wouldn't work since I'm currently in school.
Thanks again everyone!
It's good to know you don't have to be "rich" to make it work, I guess that was our most major concern.
eurokelly, thats very interesting about the UK isn't it. My husband is British and we lived there a few years and I feel it is EASIER to have a baby over there since the government helps you out so much more financially, with gov't maternity leave,a stipidend just for having a baby in the first place, and child tax benefit. I suppose it has more to do with culture why people wait. But I was like, "We're moving back to the UK for this so we can have free health care!" ;) but I know that wouldn't work since I'm currently in school.
Thanks again everyone!
Reese25
09-18-2006, 02:14 PM
I was 23 when I had my first daughter and now I am 25 and returning to school because they are expensive. You will never have enough money but the important thing is if you are happy. You make ends meet and in the end you have great children to love you. Who cares if you can't go shopping every week or if you have to buy the generic groceries, there is nothing more important than a happy family.
Reese
Reese
neshee
09-18-2006, 03:14 PM
Hello! I was 23 when we got pregnant for our daughter, now 2 1/2. I am 26 and TTC baby number 2. My husband was equally as worried about money, and then I heard something that changed our lives..."if you are waiting to be financially ready to have a baby, then you will never have one." Which made us realize that if we put off having a baby, it may never have happened. Low, and behold on our first try we got pregnant with my beautiful daughter. I guess that is why I am so impatient after trying for 2 cycles with no luck. :) However, I just got lucky. Things happen when God wants them too. Good luck to you!:angel:
besafe20
09-18-2006, 10:01 PM
Hey fiona are you mormon? Lol. Sounded like you could be from what you said about girls in your church getting married and preggers right after. Anyways I had my son at 21 and it wasn't planned but it has worked out for us. My husband who was 22 had just started grad school and is now a junior. Now I am 23 and he is 24 and we are TTC #2. My son is 2 1/2 and would like them no further than 3 1/2 years apart. Some people may question why we don't wait until we are out of school. Well if my husband specializes we will be in scool for another 4-6 years on top of when he finishes school here. I don't want to wait until I am 30 to try for my second! I think that you can make it work even if you situation isn't ideal. 23 isn't too bad to get pregnant and you may be 24 by the time you deliver right. Thats not bad. You guys have been married for long enough where I think you have good judgment to make a decision like having a baby. Good luck!
Fiona84
09-18-2006, 11:18 PM
besafe20,
Yes,I am mormon lol! :-) But I've never been the "typical" mormon who wanted 8 kids starting straight out of high school,so I never thought I'd be wanting a baby at 23! But I do! I guess you can't predict how you'll feel.
Thanks again for all your support. I've been getting familiar with all of the ttc terminology...its like its own world of acronyms...
Yes,I am mormon lol! :-) But I've never been the "typical" mormon who wanted 8 kids starting straight out of high school,so I never thought I'd be wanting a baby at 23! But I do! I guess you can't predict how you'll feel.
Thanks again for all your support. I've been getting familiar with all of the ttc terminology...its like its own world of acronyms...
besafe20
09-19-2006, 01:28 AM
LOL!! I asked cuz I am mormon too but never wanted to get married super early or have kids right away either. Instead I ended up falling into the stereotype by accident. I only want 3 kids which also doesn't meet the typical mormon jokes. Wow too funny.
terpamber
09-19-2006, 01:54 PM
Hey I don't know what others think (although it apprears they are very supportive) but I was married at 19 (although not Mormon) and have been married for 4 years now. We are ttc #1 and hoping that God will bless us. God Bless!