eurokelly
09-19-2006, 08:04 AM
I have been building up to this week, hoping that I would ovulate for the first time since m/c in July and all the signs were good....but last night DH was "too tired"....I freaked, which I am sure is the very worst response possible but I was just so upset and frustrated. he says he wants this as much as me, but he can't! If he did it wouldn't matter how tired he was - the window of opportunity is so limited you just have to get on with it :mad:
And then, for the icing on the cake, i finally got + on the OPK this morning...so we should have been BD last night, tonight...whenever, but at the moment we are not even speaking, I sent an awful email this morning when we both got into work to try to explain how I feel, but it wasn't nice because I am mad! And now i feel as though I have to pretend to be apologetic and nice so we don't miss the opportunity tonight - but then if I go back to being mad I am just being manipulative!! And I really don't want to be, but this is so important to me...so what is my alternative? let another month slip by? We practically never argue in 7 years, and the baby losses have if anything made us closer, but today I want to kill him :eek:
So tell me....how do I deal with it? I feel like an obsessive monster at the moment, maybe I AM obsessed because I am 30 years old and I want this more than anything else in the world....anyone recognise these feelings? xx
And then, for the icing on the cake, i finally got + on the OPK this morning...so we should have been BD last night, tonight...whenever, but at the moment we are not even speaking, I sent an awful email this morning when we both got into work to try to explain how I feel, but it wasn't nice because I am mad! And now i feel as though I have to pretend to be apologetic and nice so we don't miss the opportunity tonight - but then if I go back to being mad I am just being manipulative!! And I really don't want to be, but this is so important to me...so what is my alternative? let another month slip by? We practically never argue in 7 years, and the baby losses have if anything made us closer, but today I want to kill him :eek:
So tell me....how do I deal with it? I feel like an obsessive monster at the moment, maybe I AM obsessed because I am 30 years old and I want this more than anything else in the world....anyone recognise these feelings? xx
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ibelieve
09-19-2006, 10:50 AM
Hi Kelly! :wave:
Yes, I remember this too well. Has happened to us a few times. DH was always like "I don't want to make this so scientific, let's just let it happen." Which for us wasn't asking the impossible, I got pg the first time without trying. But I wanted a baby NOW. Not next month, NOW! So one night we had the EXACT same problem you guys did. Only I told him how upset I was, so in the morning he woke me up to BD before he went to work. I was happy at the time, but I knew his heart wasn't in it, and I didn't want a child conceived out of anything but absolute pure love. Ended up not getting pg that month, but the next. Felt terrible that day b/c I didn't like how this was straining our relationship. But if we can survive 3 losses, then I think we'll do okay. Also, I had the added burden of him not wanting it as bad as I did. He wasn't ready with the first one (it was an :eek: ). Then got endo dx, so we were told we had to try, which he was okay with, but not excited. Then he really was excited with this last one. Which is good b/c now that we are doing Clomid next month with possible IUI, he's got to be on board. Don't worry, everything will work out. You and DH will be fine and smiling when baby arrives! :)
-believe
Yes, I remember this too well. Has happened to us a few times. DH was always like "I don't want to make this so scientific, let's just let it happen." Which for us wasn't asking the impossible, I got pg the first time without trying. But I wanted a baby NOW. Not next month, NOW! So one night we had the EXACT same problem you guys did. Only I told him how upset I was, so in the morning he woke me up to BD before he went to work. I was happy at the time, but I knew his heart wasn't in it, and I didn't want a child conceived out of anything but absolute pure love. Ended up not getting pg that month, but the next. Felt terrible that day b/c I didn't like how this was straining our relationship. But if we can survive 3 losses, then I think we'll do okay. Also, I had the added burden of him not wanting it as bad as I did. He wasn't ready with the first one (it was an :eek: ). Then got endo dx, so we were told we had to try, which he was okay with, but not excited. Then he really was excited with this last one. Which is good b/c now that we are doing Clomid next month with possible IUI, he's got to be on board. Don't worry, everything will work out. You and DH will be fine and smiling when baby arrives! :)
-believe
eurokelly
09-19-2006, 12:04 PM
As ever, it is good to know I am not alone with all this! thanks believe x i have calmed down quite a lot now and I am going to go home this evening and try to explain (rationally this time!) how I feel....I am sure we will be ok, it is just that losing 2 babies this year has made me get moments of desperation you know? and i can't make this happen on my own (well I could.....but thats a whole other message board :eek: !!!) thanks again xxx