We recently received guardianship of our 7 yrs old autistic nephew not potty trained or very verbal need help and support seen some imporvement but not sure what we should be doing to faciletate this along

Hi there:

First of all, welcome to the board. I'm sure that you will find it as helpful and supportive as I have. Taking on a child with ASD is a huge responsibility, and you should be commended.

As far as your question... Can you give us a few more details? Maybe describe to us some of the behaviours that are troubling to you. Tell us a bit about his abilities and areas of concern. At least some of us have probably had some some similar experiences. I think that with specifics, you will find a lot of us here can really offer strong support. Also, try reading through some of the past posts. They helped me a lot when I first got here.

BTW, I have one son, Liam, who is 3 and autistic. I also have a one-year-old neuro-typical (NT) daughter, Kaya.

Suzy

Hi Allie,

Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism and Related Disorders by Maria Wheeler. This book has many practical tips & will give you hope on the toilet training. Ask at your local public library reference/info desk. If the library doesn't own it, they may be able to borrow it for you from another library through interlibrary loan. Or, you could order it through a bookstore.

Is your nephew in any special programs at present?

Best wishes.

nephew has had some improvement since moving in with us in March sleeps most nights with minimal help , does sign some "more please" which is for any food , says"cookie" ,also meaning any food ,eats constantly never seems to get enough, toliet training seems to be a joke he just sits there with no effort at all .speech happens once in a while ,tatrums seem to be decreasing in frequency and intensitity. Would like help with facilatating speech, will sometimes say name, numbers 1-30, ABC's not that others could understand. Pinching is a little better. Have him on the GF/CF diet and it seems to help. We have 7 other kids from 1-18 at home yet and they are a big help. It would be nice to know if we are doing whats best for him or if we are holding him back. His father is disabled not able to care for him and mother passed away. With him being 7 we feel we lost a lot of time and don't even know where to begin. State not much help with SCL and respite hours and other services offered

Hi Allie,

Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism and Related Disorders by Maria Wheeler. This book has many practical tips & will give you hope on the toilet training. Ask at your local public library reference/info desk. If the library doesn't own it, they may be able to borrow it for you from another library through interlibrary loan. Or, you could order it through a bookstore.

Is your nephew in any special programs at present?

Best wishes.
He has therappy 2 times a week working on language sign and pictures and
also does physical therapy also uses SCL hours which is pretty much a joke when they can work w/ them is it too long We have him seeing aDAN practitioner very supportive and understanding her son is autistic and help us fix some of his digestive problems Just frustrating to know what to do for him.

Sounds like you have thrown into the deep end. My son is 7 and nonverbal and not completely potty trained. We have him on a schedule for going to the potty. Every hour we tell him to go to the bathroom. We walk him to the bathroom and he does everything himself(unless he has a BM, then we help). At school he doesn't need to be told at all. The bathroom is in the classroom and he goes on his own.
Sounds like your nephew has a lot of things that need to be worked on. If you try to address everything at once you will end up overloading yourself with stress. I would start with one thing, and work your way up to the others slowly. Your nephew is in a new setting and that can be upsetting for an autistic child. Give him a chance to get himself used to it. Therapy for OT and SP is great and making sure his IEP at school is appropriate are good starting points.
Above all else, trust your instincts. Sometimes, the best thing to do is just go back to the basics. Love, security, and encouragement are what all kids need and patience and understanding. When you have a bad day you can come to the board here and vent. It helps me.

Allie,

Sounds like you are doing extremely well under the circumstances. You're covering all the bases, as far as I can tell. Maybe ck. with his therapists to find if anyone has experience to work with you on a potty training program. If he were potty trained, life at home would be much easier, I'm sure.

Best wishes.

Thank you for your support and understanding. He definetly has had changes only child and not much exposure to others or different enviroments. His mom died in March and he came to live with us and our 6 kids that are still at home big change for anyone he seems to have adapted fairly well the kids play with him. We also changed his diet from every form of sugar and juice to GF/CF diet and BM have improved also he has a new teacher who is very supportive with teaching pratical skills (saying his name, numbers, letters and helps work on toliet training at school)

Allie

I think you're an inspiration. Elmhar is right, you're really on the ball. You really seem to have an idea of what is best for him, and you're obviously working really hard for him.

Potty training is an issue that we all seem to share. it drains you emotionally, and never mind financially. Liam's too big for baby diapers now, and we have to use the Goodnights. not cheap.

Keep you're head up. Obviously, in gaining your nephew, you've also suffered a loss in the family. You must be very strong. You're nephew is lucky. Come here, when you need to vent, or you feel insecure, we're here to listen.

Suzy

Suzy:angel:
Thank you for the kind words. Most people don't understand what it is like a lot of the time I feel as though I am failing him in some way and am not sure what to do. Losing his mother was tramatic for all involved, her death was a shock to all and his father not being able to help is very trying also. We are trying to do some research but it is so hard to know what to believe and what is just a farce. Plus we feel as though we have come in half way in the game. The state is a joke with help Respite and scl hours they don't really explain and don't follow through which is frustrating. thanks again for just letting me vent unfortunately that seems to be a relief if the other person understand where you are coming from. Once again thank you. Allie

Has anyone heard about the clay detox bathes that are suppose to pull out the toxins (mercury, lead, pollutants) wondered if anyone used them or any other suppliments. We know that he is low on calcium, magnesium, iron, and zinc and are trying different ways to remedy this epsom salt baths and lotion with magn. in it good bacteria for digestion, fish oil for costipation and such have seen improvement bowels are more regular sleep is better and outburst are less, he also is eating better, and is getting more verbal (not words but using his voice to try words) he does sign some also Any pointers on things that have worked would be greatly appreciated or things that didn't work to We really want to do all we can to help him be as fully fuctioning as he can be
this morning it was such a struggle just to get him to dress himself so easily distracted.