Ok, it is my opinion that a 5 month old baby doesn't need to be sick yet.
She'll get sick later when she's playing with friends and I can't control it.
So, why should I let her get sick now?

My husband's sister from Europe is visiting and she keeps doing things like
putting my baby's hand in her mouth, letting my baby suck on her fingers
(even after we picked her up at the airport!!!!) etc..... and she told me
her philosophy is that we should let our babies eat dirt (apparently to
build up immunity). I'm sorry, but my baby doesn't need to build up her
immunity NOW.

Besides, there are plenty of spreadable diseases that NOBODY has immunity to, such as strep throat. Also, do I REALLY want my baby to catch Rotavirus? I don't think so.

I already told her not to let her suck on her fingers, but now she puts
her hand in her mouth. (This is also going to teach my baby how to bite!!)

My baby just woke up screaming tonight with a severe stuffed up nose.
I'm so furious. I can guarantee you that if I say something, the visitor will be
offended and I risk ticking off my husband.

My baby has all her life to get sick. It doesn't have to be NOW. The younger she is, the more dangerous it is!

Sorry, had to vent. :( 2 more weeks and the visitor is out of here.
Why can't she just respect my wishes? She's going to turn up her nose
and hate me now when I speak up. OH WELL. I love my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paula

Hi Paula...

I can sympathise with you, it's hard when your little baby gets a cold for the first time. But keeping her in a vacuum sealed bubble is the only way she won't get sick. In their first year of life infants get an average of 9 colds! And that's just the colds... When they get a cold it builds upon their immune system so each cold virus adds to their immunity history. Its a nasty process but a necessary one that's, for the most part, out of our control.

My dd was five months when she got her first cold. Its quite stressful for both baby and parents but the next cold will be easier as both of you will know what is going on.

:wave:

and she told me
her philosophy is that we should let our babies eat dirt (apparently to
build up immunity

I have to say that I agree with her. I have a theory - we treat our children like glass, they will break like glass.

With the exception of public restaurants and public restrooms, "anything goes" around here. We have 3 dogs, and I grew up in horse pens. I'd clean 10 stalls, groom 10 horses, then sit down and eat lunch without ever washing my hands. I think I've had 4 colds in my entire life (one of which I am just now getting over, for which Ava didn't receive a single sniffle over).

Being exposed to dirt and germs IS good for children. If you keep your baby in a sterile bubble, you are setting her up for getting sick. The minute she is exposed to something her immune system won't know how to handle it.

I would also go easy on your SIL about your baby being sick. The incubation period for a cold can be as long as a week, so if your SIL just arrive, chances are she didn't make your baby sick. If she has been there that long, just keep in mind that airplanes are NOTORIOUS for spreading illness. Think about it, you're sitting in recycled air for the duration of your flight, and you're basically breathing everyone else's air. Clean people who are freaks about germs get sick JUST from sitting on a plane. It's very possible she carried something into your home, and it's very possible your Babe got sick without her sticking her finger in her mouth.

We also don't use antibacterial, antimicrobial, or antiviral cleaners or soaps.

I dunno, I'm just not a germaphobe. It doesn't seem like she did anything wrong to me. Sorry. :confused: Having said that, I DO think it's rude of her not to honor your wishes. She is still a guest in your house, and she should still do as you want while she's there.

And don't worry, letting your baby chew or suck on hands won't cause a biter! LOL We don't use pacifiers in this house, so Ava will often grab my hand and chew or suck on it. It's totally normal. People survived this way LOOOOOONG before pacifiers were invented. A baby's oral fixation now has no bearing on whether or not they'll turn into a biting toddler.

I have to say that I agree with her. I have a theory - we treat our children like glass, they will break like glass.



We also don't use antibacterial, antimicrobial, or antiviral cleaners or soaps.

I dunno, I'm just not a germaphobe. It doesn't seem like she did anything wrong to me. Sorry. :confused: Having said that, I DO think it's rude of her not to honor your wishes. She is still a guest in your house, and she should still do as you want while she's there.

And don't worry, letting your baby chew or suck on hands won't cause a biter! LOL We don't use pacifiers in this house, so Ava will often grab my hand and chew or suck on it. It's totally normal. People survived this way LOOOOOONG before pacifiers were invented. A baby's oral fixation now has no bearing on whether or not they'll turn into a biting toddler.

i have to agree with north. there are some people i know who i would not lilke ds to suck on but in his teething and oral stage he puts everything in his mouth including toys other babys have sucked on at nursery. i don't know where in europe your visitor is from but we are not abnormal here lol you worded it like we are weird lol. anyway when i was little i used to put worms and soil in my mouth yuck but i never got ill from it. i also do not sterilise ds bowls i just wash them with soapy water. i think sometimes we can be too over fearful - god knows i can be sometimes. i think your main issue is that you don't want your baby sucking just any old stranger which is fair enough. i would keep your baby away from the visitor if it stressing you so much.

You don't understand. I'm not keeping her in a bubble.

NOBODY IS IMMUNE TO STREP, E-Coli, and other bacteria.
She will also get sickon her own when she plays with her friends later.

You do NOT put your hands all over a filthy airport and then stick
them in a baby's mouth. It's irresponsible.

She will get sick later. She doesn't need to suffer now.

So, all of you just don't wash your hands? All science is false?

This is what I get for posting here. I guess all the government classes in daycare I took are wrong and the years in working in childcare are null. Go ahead. Make your babies sick. It's your perogative.

This is why you should never trust public places. NOBODY is immune to E-Coli and people and babies can die from it. Not everyone at a mall, airport, grocery store, etc. washes their hands after going to the bathroom. They spread this disease all over the place!


What is E.coli?

E.coli is a group of bacteria, one of which is called "Verocytotoxin-producing Escherichia coli" ("VTEC" or E.coli 0157). E.coli causes a range of illness, ranging from mild diarrhoea to severe inflammation of the large intestine.

How does E.coli spread?

Only a small number of bacteria need to be swallowed for infection to occur.
The bacteria can spread from one person to another if someone doesn't wash their hands properly after going to the toilet, or before preparing food.
It is particularly prevalent in households, nurseries and infant schools.

Is it contagious?

E. coli can be easily spread from person to person by the fecal-oral route. This is one of the reasons that washing the hands after toileting or diapering is so important. Unwashed hands spread the bacteria widely throughout the environment.


What are the symptoms?

The symptoms of E. coli infection can vary quite widely, depending both on the location of the infection and the strain of E. coli involved.
Diarrhea might be explosive and short-term, or it might be chronic low grade diarrhea that slows growth. It might be a mild, non-descript diarrheal illness with watery stools, or there may be severe abdominal pain, bloody diarrhea, or a high fever. Those with E. coli O157:H7 might also develop hemolytic uremic syndrome (anemia, low platelets, blood in the stool and urine, and kidney failure). E. coli in the urinary tract causes typical symptoms of urinary tract infections, which might include burning on urination, increased urination, and perhaps fever. In newborns, the first signs of E. coli may be subtle. You might see the baby develop some combination of poor feeding, pauses in breathing, a temperature that is too high or too low, irritability, or excessive sleepiness. Some babies vomit, have diarrhea, or have swollen bellies.

P.S. My baby now has diarreah. I'm glad you feel she "has" to have it and will become immune. This isn't true.

i don't think they are saying to make your baby sick.
i understand, my son was 3 when he started daycare and was sick almost every week, i finally took him out, because his little body just couldn't handle it. (he had anemia)
i think what they are saying is try not to be over cautious. drs. say that is why people get sicker with colds and viruses, because we are such a clean world (anti-bacterial everything) that being exposed to no germs can sometimes be worse. it doesn't mean put dirty hands in their mouth or expose them to someone with a cold on purpose. what drs. are saying is that some germs used to be fine to the human body, but now that people are not being exposed to those germs, they are the very ones that are making us sick. i think that is what the other posters are saying.
but i completely understand, i know what drs. say, but having gone through the rotovirus, strep throat, and a million colds with both of my boys (4 and 14 months) getting colds is not fun. and i try not to use antibacterial stuff at home. don't get me wrong, i own it, i carry a bottle of germ-x in the diaper bag. and before we eat, after the bathroom, and sometimes just because we use it, we also clean the buggy with it or a wipe. you just never know what people are carrying. my dr. said that is probably the way my son (then 3) got a ring worm, is through a buggy.
so i understand you completely.
good luck and take care

p.s. they now make a rotovirus vaccine.

Paula...

I too would be pretty upset if someone didn't respect my wishes before handling my baby. My MIL is one who tried to wield her authority over me by refusing to wash her hands (and many other things including trying to sabbotage my breastfeeding). We let her get away with no hand-washing ONCE only because we were in shock that she chose to argue with us. After that...we didn't let her touch or hold the baby.

I ended up telling the Witch she could either spend her time fighting over hand-washing issues & germ information...or spend her time holding the baby. It was her choice...and I left it at that and walked out of the room with my baby. She ended up washing her hands. I could hear her commenting under her breath every time she washed up...let her be mad...she ruined her own time with the "holier-than-thou" attitude.

It doesn't matter what your SIL's philosophy is on child-rearing...it's not her child. You hold fast to your rules or she will walk all over you. Who cares if she turns her nose up at you?? You know what's important. Keep a smile on your face, hand her an antibacterial wipe or something if she reaches for the baby, and stick with your plan.

Our son spent the first 6 weeks of life in NICU and we had a rule that if anyone wanted to hold him, they had to wash their hands or use antibacterial foam. When we go out shopping, I wipe down the cart with antibacterial wipes that they have at the store and wash DS's hands off when we get back to the car. I realize he is going to get colds and is going to get sick, but there are bugs that can live on surfaces for DAYS -- pseudomonas can live on surfaces for 8 days!!! Now it's a bug that isn't harmful to most people, but if you have a chronic lung disease or weakened immune system it can cause major problems and is very very difficult to get rid of.

Our problem is sick people coming to family events and claiming they just have a cold, only to find out later it was bronchitis, pneumonia... We have gotten to the point the if we find out my MIL KNEW there was going to be someone sick and didn't tell us, so we could decide what precautions to take, we will leave!

i don't think they are saying to make your baby sick. i think what they are saying is try not to be over cautious. drs. say that is why people get sicker with colds and viruses, because we are such a clean world (anti-bacterial everything) that being exposed to no germs can sometimes be worse. it doesn't mean put dirty hands in their mouth or expose them to someone with a cold on purpose.

Thank-you, that's exactly what I meant.

And, yes, Paula I do wash my hands. I also use a shopping cart cover. And I'm also very cautious in public eating places and public restrooms. When Ava was a newborn I asked that people wash their hands first "just to be safe", however, she's now rolling around on the floor with the dog hair and sand tracked in from the back yard. She drops her toys on the floor then picks them up and puts them in her mouth. And I'm sure when she can crawl better she'll put WORSE in her mouth.

My only point was to not stress over what you have no control of. And I certainly didn't say to LET your child get sick now, but that keeping him in a bubble isn't safe either.

I'm sure your babe will be just fine. Hyland's has a natural remedy for colds, but even their teething tablets should work. The chamomile in it is very soothing. If you're breastfeeding you could also drink 3000-4000mg's of ascorbic acid (vit c), which will pass through. It is water soluble, and anything left over will just be peed out. While I was sick this week I drank 3 emergen-c's every day (3000 mgs worth of vit c), and Ava has barely sneezed.

I hope he feels better soon.

i would not want anyone to put there unwashed airport-germ infested hands in my babys mouth. i don't blame you for feeling the way you do... i would feel the same way. just becuase you don't want SOMEONE ELSE DIRTY HANDS IN YOUR BABYS MOUTH does not make you over cautious. in fact, i'll go so far as to say that anyone who lets people put their hands in their babys mouth is not cautious enough!

I so agree with North on this one (and no offense North but I don't always as we have some different philosophies LOL)...you can't protect your child from everything but you also need to ensure that your wishes are respected.
I, too, grew up on a farm and was around ecoli and other 'harmful' bacteria. I am never sick...I might get a cold or have allergy symptoms (which incidentally are often mistaken for colds, flues and viruses) once or twice a year and same goes for the flu. My children don't live on a farm but we do visit my parents a lot. We aren't obsessive about handwashing and don't use antibacterial soaps or hand santizers at all unless I am doing a diaper change where water isn't available. And my kids never get sick either.
I am positive that some of it is luck but I also know that some of it is natural immunities that they have built up because they are exposed to things. I also take them out to many places with other children, they do go (well will again when my mat. leave is over) to a home daycare and I don't worry about the shopping carts etc...although ds#2 is always in his own car seat and ds#2 has refused to sit in one since he was about 2.
I guess what I am saying is that it is up to each person how much they want to worry about germs and how much that can affect each child. Children are all different and some have better natural immunities than others and some develop better immunities than others because of what they are exposed to.
On a VERY supportive note of what the original poster said...I would be very upset if someone put their hands in my child's mouth though....that is one thing I don't do myself very often and would be mortified if someone else did it.

Wow - I am quite surprised that so many people don't see Paula's side. Very Interesting. All kids will get sick but I am surprised that we don't go to lengths to prevent it. Our son wasn't sick for the first 8 months (while he was home with my wife) The minute he entered day care, sick at least every other week. It's true that he will build immunity and there is nothing that we can do in that environment BUT, I would do anything I could to prevent needless colds. By age 5 or 6 all kids will have had enough colds to build their immunity.

If you really want to build kids immunity keep a good healthy diet avoid sugar and processed foods and play like a champion (exercise)

Good Luck!

Maybe its me but, I don't see her posts as that stressed out? and I would hardly call the reaction violent. Looks to me like she posted info trying to justify her position.

I agree with ChappyBoy. And it seems to me like everyone is acting like the op is paranoid or overly cautious. Who here thinks people sticking dirty fingers in a babys mouth when it's not even their baby is ok? I woulden't even do that myself with my own child, with the exception that he was choking on something! I guess I'm just surprised that more people don't agree with the op.

I agree with the OP
no one should be sticking their dirty fingers in anybodys mouth.....baby, child, adult, or otherwise.....
I don't like it when people come to work sick, and I catch a cold, I certainly wouldn't like it if someone was sick and thought nothing of exposing my baby to it....

if people want to play in and eat dirt on their own time....that's fine, just don't expect everyone to want to.

[ REMOVED ]

I agree that Paula's SIL is being rude by not honoring her wishes. She is a guest in Paula's home, and whether or not she agrees with how she raises her child is a moot point. child, Paula's house, Paula's rules.

I agree with the notion that exposing our children to dirt and germs is fine, and when done "safely" is actually a good thing.

I'm not sure what "doing anything I could to prevent needless colds" means. I don't wear a hazmat suit, I don't wash my hands in bleach, I don't sterilize every sippy cup or bottle, and I don't use antibacterial soap. I do, however, vacuum once a day, wash my hands frequently, mop every couple of days, and keep a pretty clean house. At the same time I don't freak out over some dog hair, dust bunnies, or my kid sucking on my hand.

And Chappy, I agree with you on sugars and otherwise refined or processed foods. They're a no-no around here.

Who here thinks people sticking dirty fingers in a babys mouth when it's not even their baby is ok?


I beleive there are extremes both ways.. No, dirty fingers like that shouldn't be stuck in a babys mouth.. but babies do need to be exposed to certain things IMO... My BIL and SIL were so anal about every little thing being cleaned, sterilized, you name it, around my nephew.. Once he got exposed to things they hit him HARD because he never got the chance to build an immunity to anything.. someone posted how the baby was home all the time in a clean clean clean environment, and once they were in daycare, BAM sick all the time.. The way I read that post, seems like it's just showing more that some things should be exposed.. By all means, I'm not saying take your child to someones home where everyone is sick and has strep... But being overcautious will not yeild any good.

i would not want anyone to put there unwashed airport-germ infested hands in my babys mouth. i don't blame you for feeling the way you do... i would feel the same way. just becuase you don't want SOMEONE ELSE DIRTY HANDS IN YOUR BABYS MOUTH does not make you over cautious. in fact, i'll go so far as to say that anyone who lets people put their hands in their babys mouth is not cautious enough!

DITTO! I swear, you can tell that people on this board comes from different backgrounds and areas of the world because our thinking on this board goes from one end of the spectrum to the other! I can understand that you can't keep your baby from being exposed to air that may be germ infested, but I wouldn't go promoting it. It's disgusting.

And Paula, don't let ANYONE on this board make you feel that angry. [ REMOVED ] Just different thinking, I guess, but as long as the PARENT is ok, than that's fine.

Just a story about germs and the whole animals thing (I don't know who was talking about it). We have a shitzhu who lives inside that I LOVE, but when people come over and pet the dog, they HAVE to wash their hands (with ANTIBACTERIAL soap, lol) before playing with the baby! Yes, I love Gizmo, but lets be real, she licks herself and I've seen her eat her crap!

[ REMOVED ]

An unwashed human finger is one of the dirtiest things I can think of. Any filth that can be found in a public restroom or a restaurant can also be found on an unwashed hand... THINK ABOUT IT. Not all people are very hygenic, and even those who are touch all the same things as those who are not. I knew a girl who was a tampon wearer and she was on her period and I noticed she never washed her hands after using the restroom... need I say more?

I am by no means a germ phobic either. I have NEVER even steralized my breast pump or any bottles at all. I just wash them. I don't care whether the hand soap is anti bacterial or regular, but I do wash my hands. I have no problems with kids playing in the dirt, but if you think it's ok to EAT dirt, I should tell you that as a child I got WORMS from eating dirt.

Just because Paula doesn't want to needlessly expose her child to germs doesn't mean she is treating her child like glass. It's just common sense.

This is a legitimate discussion in regard to infant care, but do not argue.

Address the originator of the post and her topic, only.

Personally, I wouldn't care if I offended the visitor, or upset the husband. I would tell anyone point blank, and who I felt uncomfortable with touching my baby, NOT to touch them, UNLESS they've washed their hands, especially after coming off of a plane, digging in dirt, petting an animal, etc... I wouldn't care what anyone thought of me.... that's MY baby (your husband's too), this is MY home, and if you don't like it, leave. I would constantly be on them, and if I annoyed them as much as they are annoying me... too bad, then I just accomplished getting my point across.

Since you feel so strongly about it, then take action. I don't blame you one bit for your anger. I would be STEEEEEEEEEAMING mad if someone continually disregarded my wishes regarding my child.

Best of Luck!!

Everytime I've taken my baby to the doctor, the doctor reminds me not to let anyone handle the baby without washing their hands first. He says to tell everyone it is your doctor's rule. I've let this slide a few times, but most people I see all the time know the rule.
Last week a stranger held my baby's hand for the first time. Of course, it wouldn't help for me to say anything to a stranger. As soon as she left I immediately wiped my son's hands down with a baby wipe before he stuck his hands in his mouth. Who wants to be sick if you don't have to be. Just wash your hands.

Well, the issue here that we should all be able to agree on is that none of us want our children sick and not feeling well. The OP understands her child will get sick in the future, but at the same time, there are things she can do to prevent illness. And I don't blame her for being upset with her family member.

We all know our kids will get sick one day. I am currently pregnant with my first and am already dreading my little one getting sick with ear infections, colds, etc. I know how I feel when my elderly cat doesn't feel well and I feel so bad for her. I am sure it will be 10 times worse when it is my baby who is sick.

In either case, we all want to protect our children and for them to have healthy lives.

KeltoKel, you couldn't have said it better. :)

I too, freak out over my son getting ill. My little one was 9 weeks early, and in our hospital you have to take a class about all of the disgusting things people touch everyday that no one thinks about. He came home from the NICU at 5 weeks old and went back into the hospital 3 days later in respiratory failure and spent the next few weeks on the ventilator, he nearly died. Now, we didn't take him ANYWHERE during those 3 days and I am sure that the illness started while he was still in the NICU, one of the cleanest places I know of. We also wipe down grocery carts, and I cringe when I see babies chewing on the handle of one. But I say nothing, not my child. We started him in daycare 2 1/2 weeks ago at 6 months old (not by choice, it had to be done for financial reasons). He has his first "cold", I flew him to the doctor's office, just knowing he had RSV, the test was negative thank goodness. Point being, no matter how careful you are, children will get sick. I do think however, it is good to take precautions when you can. Funny how they can be so fragile and resiliant at the same time.

Amy

We also wipe down grocery carts, and I cringe when I see babies chewing on the handle of one.

I know!! The other day I went to the store and the first cart I grabbed had been the victim of a tragic egg carton mishap. One of the eggs got stuck under the seat part, and there were egg yolks everywhere, all dried up. I pushed it aside and told the guy at the door, but when we were leaving I noticed it had been pushed back with the rest of them. Totally gross!!

I highly recommend the Floppy seat cover. I love it. You can use it on high chairs at restaurants too.

Paula, I apologize if you think I was inferring that our children should get sick. That couldn't have been any further from what I meant. I only meant that exposing our kids to dirt and germs is a normal part of life, and that it can actually help in the long run. As you can tell, I certainly DO try to prevent unnecessary germs with shopping cart covers and the likes. ;)

ya know what I gross out about?
You know that little part in the front of the cart where the babies sit?
we put food in there and don't think anything of it, but babies poopie diaper butts are right there.....how about a little e-coli ??

Definately a gross thought and I do it all the time....food for thought...pun totally intended LOL!!!
Seriously though, if the child had ecoli they'd be sick and not in the cart right? Well I guess not when they first get it but realistically it is pretty uncommon for children to have it and no one to know/them not get sick.

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I hope that each one that uses this board will read this, because some permanent bans may soon be in order!

Ignore posts you dislike/disagree with and move on!

You all know how to agree to disagree.

No one posted to say anyone should let their child eat dirt or get sick on purpose, so arguing about that or any other opinion is senseless. Read posts in context and stop taking others' opinions personally.

When you post on the internet expect to get replies that may not be exactly what you prefer to read. Ignore them. There are as many views and preferences about raising children as there are people. It is no one's place to convince others of their own views.

Answer only the originator of the thread, not each other. Do notaddress other members that post replies.


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Post relationship issues on the Relationship Health Board, only.

How to get along with a relative even in regard to one's infant is a relationship issue, and does not belong on this board.