I was doing so "good".... eating just enough to keep going.. not really even hungry anymore.. and the last few days I have been soo hungry I don't know why...so I have been eating more... The scale says I have gained about 1 pound but I feel like my face looks round and full...my legs and stomach feel huge.... I am soo mad at myself for allowing myself to eat just because I thought I was hungry...I mean...so what..if my stomach growls....it should growl...that's how I know it is using up all the disgusting fat on my body.

Sorry..I am disgusted with myself

Rachel

Rachel- Don't feel fat! One pound is great! Think of gaining weight as medicine...you become stronger with each "dose" of medicine.

I totally understand how you feel! When I started gaining weight a couple months ago, I freaked out! I got scared and slipped back into my old anorexic ways. But one I realized that I had more energy and felt better with each pound, it wasn't so bad.

Don't beat up on yourself! Keep trying to get better!

Love, Jen

Jen,

Thanks for the encouragement.....the problem is though is that I am not "too" skinny....and I really don't need to or want to gain weight!!

Rachel

Rachel-
If you aren't too skinny, then I would just recommend staying healthy. That is the most important thing! But be careful, because eating disorders come when you think you don't have one. Good luck!

Love, Jen

Rachel,

I had the same sort of problem these past few days. I have not let myself throw up ANYTHING for about a week, because it is so unhealthy. But because I cannot purge, I have been running a lot more, to burn off those few things I do eat, and then, because of all the running, I guess, I got really hungry. I tried to ignore it, but it wouldn't go away. I ate. Not a lot, just a little more. Graham crackers! (Mmm, they were very good). Anyway, I haven't gained weight, but I haven't lost any either and I have eaten dinner for the past two days and I feel like I am losing control of things.

I am going to go run now and try to figure out how to get things back on the right track.

Good luck.

-Lilbear

Rachel,

Also, something else I just thought of. When you step on the scale, it tells you how much you weigh, but not what that weight is "made" of. You have been exercising a lot, and it might actually be muscle. Muscles are heavy, but more dense, so they weigh a lot without making you "fat". Also, the more muscle you have, the higher your metabolism goes.

Think about that possibility.

-Lilbear

Thanks Lil Bear.. I know what you mean about exercising though....I still do my normal routine but I have found that if I workout extra hard it only makes me very hungry and harder to resist the food.....so I try to maintain a fine line between working out enough but not so much that I am starving...

Rachel

hi, gaining that one pound could be the start of getting that stupid anorexia voice out of your head, if you want it to. Gaining that one pound is good not bad, if you continue listening to the voice then you are going to get ill, do you really want to destroy your body like that??????/
well good luck e-mail me if you wanna chat on: neversayneveruk@yahoo.com