I need some info fast, I have to go to work in a few. The lady that I stay with has alzheimers for the past 3 days she has been having problems bad. all she does is sleep, has lost her ability to speak, 2 days ago her bowels released 3 X and no urine. she lays and stairs at the celing, no response at all. every once in a while she will make a whimpering sond like she is trying to cry . Is this the end or could something else be wrong? they just put her on adavan last week, and she has went down hill quickly. I just want to do everything for her that I can to try to make her comfortable. please help. I personally think she is getting ready to pass but I am not God or a Dr. so please some imput.

Dear B

As long as her doctor is informed of her condition, it is OK. Yes, the end seems to be near. Just keep her as comfortable as you can, talk to her gently, and hold her hand.

Please let us know how it went.

love,

Martha

it was kind of strange today. it was if a difference between day and night. yesterday when I got there she was crying as a matter of fact she cried all day long but she did eat, I only had to change her 1 time though and she was barley and I mean barley wet in her diaper, I just don't understand at all, 1 day it is like she is holding on by a thread and the next she will be back to her crying all day. Oh well I just don't want to see her suffer, it kills me inside. and I don't know if her dr. knows the shape she is in or not. I am just an employee and have no say in anything her daughter does all that and she acts as if it is nothing just keeps changing meds all the time. one of the other workers just worries if she is going to get to sleep that night, and that makes me mad!! I just want her to have some peace!! So she won't have to hurt and suffer. If you could see her, she has went down hill so fast she is nothing but skin and bones, although she eats most of the time. can't gain any weight. I pray every day that if its the Lords will not to let her suffer anymore. This is the most horrid deasiese I have ever seen in my life. I hate to see anyone suffer though. Right now my sister in laws dad is dying from cancer and is in alot of pain, but poor old M is in pain everyday. she just doesn't know how to tell you what is hurting or what is wrong with her because she doesn't know. thanks martha for the info.
love N prayers for everyone on here
cathy

Dear Cathy,

It must be hard for you, not being able to make any decisions.

I am surprised that your charge's daughter doesn't have her in a hospice at this time. When the patient starts losing weight and is not urinating and so forth, it is a sigh that she is dying.

Does her daughter live nearby? Since there is another employee on dury at night, I assume she doesn't live with her mother. Does she come to see her mother often? Does she know about the lack of urine?

You are doing a good job just by being there and caring. God bless you and your patient.

love,

Martha

she lives about 3 miles away she comes 2 x a day at for about 5 min at a time. yes she knows about the lack of urine, we keep a log of how she is doing everyday. and we tell her when she comes how she has done. I don't understand about the hospice either, where we live the dr. has to order it. her dr. ordered it about 9 months ago and home heath came and said that when she lost more of her ability to speak then hospice would step in. well home heath quit coming because she didn';t have any bed sores for them to take care of.
another ? because of the lack of urine would that cause her glucose to stay elevated? she is also a diabetic well for the past 3 or 4 days her levels have been above 300 constantly. so her daughter upped her diabetes med. came down slightly below 300 mark but not much. I also am a diabetic and when my glucose is high I pee! very often that is what I have tried to explain to her. when your level is high it makes you pee alot, and you stay thirsty but she doesn't and does not want to drink . every now and then but when she does she is getting choked on it. and she does her food too. it is like she is forgetting to swallow, you have to tell her to chew ger food and to swollow it. she will chew fo 30 min on a small peice of egg. I don't know . but I do know if it were my mother she would have been taken to the hospitial 3 days ago when she stopped responding. I wouldn't wait around.
I watched my granny die 2 years ago and that is exactly what she looked like the day before yesterday. laid there with eyes open staring at the celing with her mouth wide open with sporatic breathing. I have seen it too many times. I don't know how to get through to her daughter. I keep getting reminded I am just an employee which is true. and it is not my place it is her mother. oh by the way she now has bed sores on the base of her spine that me and the other worker are trying to take care of with meds that the other worker bought! and yes she knows about them and we asked her to get tripple antibotic ointment but to no avail so the other worker went and bought some herself. I don't understand people at all.

Hospice should now step in. Sometimes family members aren't ready to hear this. It might be possible that she's suffering from a bladder infection, exacerbated by lack of fluids. If this was my relative, I'd have her on an IV by now, which would stabilize her vital signs and bring some relief. Usually the doctor gives the order for hospice care.

Now she is having trouble with her bowels, they have not moved in 14 days, we have given prune juice stool softners, milk of mag. and today if they dont move we are using supositories. if they don't move I know it will start to come back up in her mouth it has before when her bowels were impacted. also she has gotten a bed sore on the base of her spine, that we are trying to get to heal. she has been in the bed now for a year. and until now she has been free of anything like that. we rotate her and every thing , but where she is so thin now it looks like her bones are going to pop through her skin. she is so pittiful. she would break you heart. she does mine anyway. I think her daughter is to proud to tell the dr. how bad of shape she is in. I think she figures that they have plenty of money and that they shouldn't need any help. I think they do. at least they might be able to get the bedsore to heal, we have been working on it for 3 weeks now and it just won't heal and is starting to look like it is getting infected. I just don't understand people and pride. If it were my mother she would have already been to the hospitial. It kind of makes me angry!

Dear B,

if her daughter is neglecting her basic care (like getting help for the bedsores!) she is guilty of elder abuse. This is a crime! is there any way you could speak to the old lady's doctor? I feel so sorry for you, you are such a caring helper and your hands are tied ... is the daughter trying to hasten her mother's death?

Love and prayers,

Martha

Could be that the daughter is in complete denial. But in any case, this dear old lady needs and deserves treatment. I can only imagine how painful this must be for her and she can't even express it. Please call someone and tell them. Protect yourself from possible allegations. Anything can happen in a situation like this and you don't want to be caught up in it. You could be accused of something for not notifying the authorities that this elder abuse is going on. And YES, it IS elder abuse.

You've demostrated here that you're a very caring person. I hope that when my dad get's that bad, we're lucky enough to find someone like you to help care for him.

Love, Barb

her daughter is going to her mom's dr. today. She keeps watch on her and I think it's just that she is in denial. She keep comparing her to her dad when he was alive and she thinks that her mom will do just like him, but I know that is not always the case. I just hope her bowels have moved by the time I get there today , I am worried that they are going to start coming out her mouth if they don't move soon.

Hi There.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a horrible thing seeing this poor woman and not being able to do anything about it.

Iv'e read all your posts you've made in this thread, and when i did one thing came to my mind. You just described my Grandpa. My Grandpa was 85 and had a massive stroke in early July, he passed away a week later. The woman you are caring for does sound very close to death indeed. Alot of the things you mentioned that was happening to her happened to my grandpa too, i know how hard it would be for you to feel so helpless.

Unfortunatley there isn't much you can do for her now. When i was in your situation with my grandpa we stayed with him, held his hand, spoke to him and we use to dip these massive cotton tips (the nursing staff gave us these at the hospital) in a cup of water and we use to put them in my grandpa mouth to suck on to put some moisture in his mouth. Even though there isnt much you can do now, just sit and hold her hand, it will probabaly bring alot of comfort to her.

I had to work overtime yesterday, It was a relatively easy day though. She was asleep all day, did not eat or drink anything at all. her bowels finally moved a little the other day 2 times in 17 days. bed sore is still there. she tried to call out to her sister yesterday( that has been dead for years) and couldn't even get her name out. I honestly do not think she will be here too much longer, but I have thought that before and she would bounce back and start eating again. Last sunday was her birthday 87. He daughter and daughter in law were telling me how much she seemed like her old self that day and she has went downhill every since. I truely do not understand this dreaded illness. I don't know what today will hold for her if anything at all. If she will cry all day or sleep. I understand why she cries. I guess I would too. all the frustration, confusion, depression. Just think about it. If you didn't know where you were or who you family is you try to ask question but you can't get the words out all you have are words that no one can understand. You are use to going places and you don't understand why you can't go anymore. (she lost her ability to walk) but in her mind she still thought and thinks she can. it is understandable.