Just a warning i'm about to whine!! I had one of the worst days ever today!! The only thing I ate today was water and I feel really light headed and just generally bad. My gymnastics is looking rank and my coach is mad. I passed out in practice and my hair is coming out and feels really dry. I love college, but right now the stress from my classes is piling up. There just aren't enough hours in the day for studying and at least 7-8 hours of gymnastics and running. I feel like i'm at the end of my rope and I really don't know what to do about it. If I gain weight my coach will kill me and my parents agree with anything he says. I can't give up gymnastics b/c it defines me i've been doing it for 17 years(since I was 3). That's just too much to give up!!! Have you ever felt like this before? Sorry for whining so much I just had to get this off my chest.
Lily

Lily Elise,

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time :-( It sounds to me though like if you gained even just a little that that added strength would most likely improve your gymnastics... It's sad your parents and coach can't see that... There is no point in striving to be the best if you are to weak to compete

I can understand your commitment to the sport...I know what that is like I was very competitive in show jumping (equestrian events) but when it gets to the point that your hair is falling out you cannot deny that you are not malnourished... your health has to come first.

Rachel

I am not sure if this is appropriate but I mean this to be helpful and if it isn't I apologize...


This is a low calorie high protein breakfast omelette I created so that I can get more protein without anymore calories...

Pam
9 Tablespoons liquid eggwhites (called "Allwhites" comes in a carton like eggbeaters)
1/4 green pepper chopped tiny
1/4 tomato chopped tiny
1/4 cup Kraft Fat Free shredded chedder cheese
salt and pepper to taste

this omelette has 140 calories and 34grams of protein...

For comparison 1 serving of Post Bran flakes with 1/2 cup skim milk(which I was eating for breakfast) also has 140 calories but only has 10grams of protein (that includes the milk)

and I find this omelette as filling if not more so...

obviously this is still not enough protein alone but a big improvement (I think we are suppossed to get a minimum of 50gms a day)

Rachel

Rachel,
Thankx for the recipe. That many calories scares me but i'll try it when i'm having a good day. I know in my head that if I gain weight it would be a good thing but then I look in the mirror and all I see is fat.
My coach is really getting down on me lately which in a way is a good thing b/c that means he thinks i'm worth wasting his time on. For example today he pulled me into his office and told me I wasn't putting in enough hours and that I was eating too much. One of the ways he tells if his "girls" are getting enough practice time in is if they get their periods which if you're putting in enough hours at the gym you shouldn't so he was questioning me about that too. If I can make it 3 more years(when I graduate from pre-med) i'll be too old to compete and then I can afford to gain weight. I can't deny that I need more nutrition but I can't afford to eat more right now.
You ride!!? Me too!! My family breeds and races horses as a hobby. I love jumping also!! Thankyou for listening and for your advice.
Lily

Hi I used to do gymnastics before too, but that was when I was younger, way before my ED. Anyway, even then, I can understand the pressure you felt from your coaches. Gymnastics is a highly competetive sport, one that focuses a lot on the body. If your hair is falling out and you are passing out, your body is screaming that it is malnutitioned and overworked. Health should be a priority over everything else, because without your life, you would not even be able to do gymnastics! You can still do gymnastics, but maybe not at such a competetive level? Also a tip about hair falling out, they say that protein and fat are good for healthy hair. Good luck with everything
Emilia

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Emilia

Hi,

I have to say that I understand what you are going through as far as gaining weight and the fear that goes along with it but I wanted you to know that with much due respect to your coach and your parents, you have to do what's right for you and follow your own heart. I have a friend who received her masters in dance and she was reminded everyday of how fat she was by her teachers and her peers and even changed her lifestyle to try and accomodate their view of her. She, too stopped having her period and she, too was so afraid of gaining a pound. But, the one thing that made me proud of her was that she realized somehow that she was better than the image that people put on her. She began to get healthy and start to eat healthy and good food and over the course of time started to heal herself mentally, emotionally and physically. She is such a beautiful and strong dancer and she has been the one to have an extraordinary career dancing and now teaching dance. She struggles daily with her issues around her body but now she knows that every decision she makes is for her own health and well being and not for someone elses expectation of what she should be and how she should look. NO ONE SHOULD EVER ASK YOU TO BE UNHEALTHY AND ENDANGER YOUR LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF ART OR FOR THE SAKE OF ANYTHING. I hope you see that you need food and you need fuel to live and you won't make it three more years on water...I truly know your pain and have struggled my whole life with my weight and I just wanted you to konw that I care and want you to discover life and not head towards death...

We are all here for you...Reach for your dreams for yourself and you will inspire others to do the same...keep going!!!

Peeka Boo

Peeka Boo & Emilia,
Thankx for the advice it really was helpful. It really made me feel hopeful hearing about your friend Peeka Boo. I'm in therapy now and i'm hoping it will help me permanately this time.(i've done it before).
Lily