hello... i'm new to this board, n i hope to get some help from all of u!

i was perfectly normal till last year. but things got bad around thankgiving when mah grandma had passes away. being an international student, i coulnd't attend the funeral of whom i loved the most in mah life. that was the starting of everything. i started to skip schools alot... n started to drink. eva since i've been drinking almost every single day.

last winter, i visited home for the first time in 2 years. first, i have to explain mah life ova here. i was a health person, n eat whateva i wanted, but mostly rice n veggies like most of asians do. i was very very active n out going person before i came here. but i had become a very secrective person. didn't have much friends (which i chose to do so), so not so much of life i had. thus.. i neva shopped for mah native food. this made me crazy when i was visiting mah home. all those food that i'd been missing out.. i just coulnd't help mahself but eatting. i'd eat till mah stomarch couldn't take anymore... eventually.. i got mah stomarch upset big time... ended up going to see a doc for a week.

i gained about 10 lbs in 3 weeks while staying home. right after i came back for the spring semester, i started intense diet. basically, i cut off every possible food source n lost weight almost right where i was. but this was all the wrong. all those time i stayed away from food, i've developed this fantasies about food, especailly junk food that i normally didn't eat before. all the time, i was thinking about burgers n pizzas n how they tastes like... wheneva i saw a commercial on tv, i'd go crazy n pick up the phone. now that i eat incredible amount of food everynite(oh ya.. u don't wanna know how much i'm talking here! just imagine so full, u can't even lay urself on the back cuz u feel that u r about to puke!!)

weight loss is still the big issue to me cuz i can't wear any of mah pants now.. but before that.. i'd like to something about mah binging. i've gotta stop this.

[This message has been edited by kittyLeo (edited 05-23-2001).]

I can understand what you are going through. Maybe if you didn't diet so strictly you wouldnt have those unusual fantasies about food? It can be overwhelming seeing and eating different food for the first time (asian food is great! my grandma is chinese and cooks really well, and really greasy). But you can take control of your binging, be healthy, and a normal weight if you learn to eat right, which doesnt mean denying yourself every yummy food. On some nutrition advice web pages you can find some healthy choices in every type of cuisine. Chinese has a lot of healthy options. good luck and welcome to the board
Emilia