Hey all…hope you are ok!
Right here goes <comfortable? Good!>. A couple of months a go <or so> my Dad was in an accident in which 2 people from the other car were killed…and after that happened I found myself over-eating and eating anything I could get my hands on. At the time I was a bit anxious and upset…people were saying ‘how’s your Dad’ all of the time and wanting to know every bit of detail because I went to the accident scene with my Step-Mam. And anyway….I was 7st 9 for my 5’0 frame before and I soon gained 10 pounds or so (becoming 8st7). I was revolted and I hated myself (like I do today). No matter how hard I tried the weight stuck to me. I think I am 8 st ¾ now…but probably gained weight knowing my luck!
The other week I ate less and less and felt guilty after anything I ate….I feel as though I have gained it all back because I have had to have various meals etc. I am becoming severely depressed!
For 2 years I have hated my boobs! I hate them…al they are is fat and they seem to dominate the whole of my body….32D!!! I don’t like going in the bath (but I do J ) because I can’t stand to touch this fat on me. I spoke to my Mam saying I want a reduction and I asked her what she thinks….she just said ‘I will think about it…but they cost a lot’ meaning I would have to pay for it!! I dunno what to do because I feel stuck in this body I don’t like. After this meal I am having for dinner I am not going to eat again. I am repulsed by it and it would seem it is food that is keeping me from being a thinner person!
My friends know I hate myself etc but they are forever telling me “You have such a skinny waist” but I honestly don’t. They are brill friends but they never ever see this body without clothes so how would they know?? I don’t know what to do about myself and it would seem that I am going to my previous methods of losing weight.
www.websitegalaxy.com/caroline_fell (http://www.websitegalaxy.com/caroline_fell) ß there, there is something called ‘Twisted Elegance’ ßtells a story about my struggle with weight (but I don’t have a problem). It hasn’t been updated for ever but please tell me any comments on anything.

Thanx for listening…I just needed to vent

Love Caroline/Eminem Worshipper/ Short *** J/ Blond Bimbo (but I am sooooo not!) :-p

Dear Eminemworshipper,
Try not to hate yourself for gaining weight after your father passed away. That was a traumatic incident and you just happened to turn to food to comfort you. You should talk to others about how you are feeling and they can help you through your devastating loss. As you move on from the accident, you won't over eat anymore. I have a friend who also has a large chest and she is far from overweight, but through her I know that you must feel self concious. Instead of hating them, try to see them as an attractive asset. Many girls are barely A cups and wish that they would grow. Its what make a woman womanly! If you are serious about the reduction, seriously talk to your step mom and tell her the reasons that you want the opperation. I'm sure that once you tell her about your insecurities she will be able to understand and relate to you. Also, don't feel like you need to stop eating completely, just try to eat healthy and get healthy amounts of exercise if you want to slim down. Crash dieting never works, trust me! You end up gaining more in the end, or worse ending up with and ED that will ruin the better years of your life. Take care!
Emilia

Caroline,
I'm so sorry about your Dad. Depression is one of the things that comes with a lot of people's EDs. It's also one of the things that stops us from feeling like theres any hope or reason to stop. Eating repulses me too, I look at food and I can just see the fat. I thought i was the only who hated going to the showwer everyday b/c I would have to see all my fat!! It's weird sometimes I think you know you're really not fat and then sometimes it's all I can see. Having friends tell you you're thin is really not enough you(and I both) need htem to listen and really care but not to continually tell us we're thin and odn't have anything to worry about.
Lily

I am a little confused. Your father died in the accident? Someone wrote that in a reply, but I didn't get that part from your story.

I will write more to you later, but I wanted to say that I have hated my boobs for as long as I've had them, so I TOTALLY HEAR YA! I think I am just now coming to grips with their presence (no pun intended).

Anyway, I plan to write more to you, but I am going to bed now.

-LilBear

Yea, Lilbear21, I was confused too. I didn;t get the message that her dad was killed, just two people from the other car. Anyway, I am 5'2" with 38D's. Be glad you have only 32's. I wish I could get one boob off and give it to someone thats wants it!!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif and split the other one in half. Are we ever happy with ourselves?? I think not. After reading some of the things in these Boards I wonder why we are are so hard on ourselves. It is certainly nice to know we are not alone and give each other advise. Thanks.

Sorry....just to clear up my dad didn't reply. sorry about that confusion! I didn't make it clear. He would have been killed if he hadn't an 'Espace'-large car!!

Thanks for all of your responses people...I luv u all......and working girl...I just want to get those people who want boobs...cut them off and hand them over and say ' HEEERREEE...BLOODY HAVE 'EM AND GOOD LUCK'...but you seem a gr8 person (as all u above)....xxx