I dont know if anyone feels the way i do but when i finally feel like i am getting better everything falls to peices. i am argueing constantly with my boyfriend because i cheated on him and i told him because of the guilt. I know i was wrong but i had drunk tooooo much and i pretty much didn't have much choice in sleeping with him. |He didn't rape me, but he kept making me feel so bad that i wouldn't do it. So in the end i did. I can totally understand that he is hurt but i cant lose him. then the old story kicks in, i cant controll the situation so i controll my weight. I am only eating one meal a day and even that is tiny, and i am drinking less and feel weak at the moment. How can i get back on track?????????
love caz

Hi CAZ,
I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going so well for you right now. You ask how to get back on track....get back on track by focusing. There are things you can change, and there are things you cannot right now. Worry about the things you can control (besides weight of course)! You can't change cheating on your boyfriend, but you can change how the two of you interact. Maybe he needs a little bit of space, maybe something else. You can't change that you drank too much, so try not to beat yourself up about it. You can change how much you drink next time. You can't change sleeping with someone that you didn't want to, but you can change how you react to manipulation in the future.

Most of all, realize that changing your weight will NOT change anything except just that -- your weight. Losing weight will not erase actions, feelings, or change the future for you. Things will get better for you, but not on their own. We make our lives everything they are. What do you want yours to be?

Focus, let go of what you can't change, work on things you can change, and realize that your weight won't change anything. I hope things start getting better soon!

Caz- Dear,I am so sorry! I hate reading your posts when you are having a hard time. You deserve to be happy and live a good life. I wish that you could just throw your eating problems into a fire and watch them burn. But you can't...so that is why you have to fight! Don't let anorexia take over your life. Remember how good you were doing a couple weeks ago? Weren't you really happy? I want you to be happy! Email me if you need some help ok?

Love, Jen

I know exactly how you feel Caz. you were right to tell James about what happened..it's understandable for him to be cross but he might get over it..he just needs time.
I also totally understand about the 'I cant control the situation so I control my weight' thing; that's my ED started in the first place.
Caz, if you aren't up to eating you must at least drink; it's sop hot round here at the moment, and you are practically my best friend, I really don't want to see you die....
I'm always here for you, and you know that. I mean it for real, okay!
Love and hugs always,
Katie xxx



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Don't dream the dream, be the dream.

thanx for your repleys everyone love caz

i thought i was getting better too i ws eating normally last week but this week and being back at scholl i've gone back to counting everything i eat (or don't as the case may be) and today my friends were having a go at me about what i eat and then they started going on about how it's not good and i should just eat but they don't really understand. It gets a little frustrating