FLAngel
09-22-2006, 10:30 PM
Hello All!
I have not been on the board in such a long time but now I am seeking some advice again.
My 1 year old dd has begun hitting me, usually in the face, when she is mad. She will even kindda claw at me. My first instinct is to slap her hand but it seems that would send quite a mixed message. I say "NO" sternly and hold her arms but it doesnt phase her one bit. What's worse, the babysitter says she never does it with her :(
Do any of the other 1 year olds out there do this, and if so, what do you do to teach them to stop?
I have not been on the board in such a long time but now I am seeking some advice again.
My 1 year old dd has begun hitting me, usually in the face, when she is mad. She will even kindda claw at me. My first instinct is to slap her hand but it seems that would send quite a mixed message. I say "NO" sternly and hold her arms but it doesnt phase her one bit. What's worse, the babysitter says she never does it with her :(
Do any of the other 1 year olds out there do this, and if so, what do you do to teach them to stop?
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Jakeysmom
09-23-2006, 07:03 AM
Hi! I agree with you that slapping hands sends a very mixed message. My DS is 11 mos and sometimes pinches me when he is mad or frustrated. I firmly tell him "You are mad, but no pinching" Then I immediately put him down. Of course he cries then and I take him over to his toys and begin redirecting him to do something else. I then evaluate why he was upset in the first place and try to fix it. Is he bored, Is he hungry, does he need a change of scenery? Since he can't communicate his needs or understand why I am not letting him do something he wants that comes out in pinching (or hitting in your case). They can get very testy when they don't get their own way, can't they! I have started explaining to him, in simple terms, why he can't do something "You'll fall" "That's hot" and then I always redirect him to something he can do and I sit with him and praise him for doing that. Sometimes I just have to take him to a totally different room or out on a walk because he is so focused on doing the thing that he can't do (example, climbing up on the couch and then running off the edge!!!:eek: ) I am finding though, that he is understanding more and more every day and it is the coolest thing in the world that I am the one that gets to teach him! So I just take each pinch or hair pull in stride because I know that they are a part of the learning process. Hope this helps!:)
PS Oh and of COURSE they don't do it for the babysitter, right! They save up all the richest emotion for M-O-M! I think that is soooo completely normal. She is so attached to you, you are her world and she feels the strongest about everything with you.
PS Oh and of COURSE they don't do it for the babysitter, right! They save up all the richest emotion for M-O-M! I think that is soooo completely normal. She is so attached to you, you are her world and she feels the strongest about everything with you.
Kiedy
09-24-2006, 03:25 AM
My son did this too for couple of months and I did the same thing as Jackey'smom, and now it has stopped. Sometimes he would hit me so hard, it was tempting to hit him back, but putting him down did the trick faster and more effectively. :wave:
KeltoKel
09-24-2006, 06:29 AM
Why don't you say "NO", put her down, and walk away when she does this? She will get the message loud and clear that she won't get any attention from you when she acts this way.
lesleykev
10-02-2006, 07:34 AM
everyone is right in wot they are saying but just think of it this way aswell at least your child is comfortable enough with you to act out some children are to scared to
good luck with stoppin the hitting and hope it gets better soon:wave:
good luck with stoppin the hitting and hope it gets better soon:wave:
youngmom_2
10-03-2006, 08:18 PM
My son went through this stage too, as well as all my nieces and nephews. It is completely normal. A baby at this age doesn't know how to express anger or anxiety. First, try to figure out where the anxiety is coming from and let her know in words she understands how to handle it better. Also, say something like "we don't hit, that's not nice". My son is two now and we have started telling him "It's mean to hit/push/pinch and mean boys don't have friends." It may seem kinda mean but it works. The main thing is don't get angry with her because then she will see that this is the way to handle anger and anxiety and you don't want that! Good luck!
roxyfoxy
10-11-2006, 11:58 PM
I am having the same problems. My son slaps and pulls my hair all of the time. i am still nursing, and for some reason he loves to grab my hair while sucking. It makes me crazy! He was being gentle, carressing my hair and rubbing his fingers through it, but now its grabbing and pulling. To top that, he has just learned to climb on the furniture. We HAD a table next to the fish tank until I caught him on top of it trying to get in the tank! The little bugger doesn't walk yet but he can climb on anything! These days are very stressful. I feel so bad because I just want to get away because he is in to everything. Also, i know, my mistake, but he won't sleep in his crib. I have been trying so hard to keep him in his crib (he has slept with me since birth) but he cries within 10 minutes of being put to bed in the crib. In bed, he is out like a light. The things I wish my mother told me. Gulp, she did tell me, I didn't listen. (this stays between us, don't anybody tell my mom) lol