It is another weekend and my 2 NT kids a boy 16, and girl 12, are out and about with their friends as usual. My 15 yr old AS son is home, in his room drawing and watching a movie. My heart breaks sometimes. I feel like he is lonely and bored. I ask him of course and he says " i am fine, im watching my movie". Should I stop stressing? I would love to hear from other AS people. Is he fine? Should I be taking him out, keeping him occupied? I know I should know all this by now and be used to it. It is just the other two are home less and less. They are extremly social. UGH :confused:

Trust me, your son is fine. You know what I did yesterday (Friday night)? I stayed in my room and watched movies and went on my computer. I was very happy. All the rest of the college students were out partying. I was perfectly content being away from all that noise. I hate going out, especially with peers. I don't see the point in it. You have to work around them, when it's far better to just be by yourself doing your own thing. I even eat by myself 9 times out of 10 because, that way, I don't have to worry about waiting for people to arrive or waiting for them to finish eating when I want to leave and not have to talk, and I can do my movie quotes or talk to myself when I eat by myself. It's an ideal situation. My mom often worries just like you. "Did you eat with somebody today?" "No." Once in awhile, I'll eat with one of my two peer friends, the one who has mild Asperger's, because he hates sitting around, too, but I only do this when we get together to watch a movie or something. This happens a couple times a month. I almost never leave my dorm room on the weekends. I literally have left my room once today, and that was simply to go to the bathroom. Am I bored or lonely? Hell, no! I am my best companion... ;) If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'd love to try to help you understand. If I recall correctly, your son is the one who also likes to talk to himself and draws in the air? Your son and I seem to have a lot in common. :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

GatsbyLuvr1920, thanks... yes i am the one who asked the question on the drawing in the air...i just feel like he is lonely..usually when we have company..like my friends with their kids...by the way most of my friends kids are alot younger, or his siblings friends he seems happy to have something going on here....i guess i will always worry about him just like your mom worries about you ;) should i ask him if he wants me to hang with him?? well actually i do sometimes..sometimes he is like huh no i want to be alone and other times he is like OK lets watch family guy..he loves loves that show...it is just hard to see my other kids be so social...i guess i just have to learn that is not how Dev is..thanks :wave:

I spend much of my time at home, writing, going on the Internet, and spending time with my cats. I am very happy.

It may kind of seem selfish, but the social ball is in the Aspie's court. We'll come around when we want to socialize. I only go out with my two friends when I want to. If I get the urge to be with them, I'LL call them. They know that. My mom does, too. If I don't want to do something, she doesn't push me.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

Luckystar,

I'm in the same boat as you, 16 yo PDD-NOS, very HF, in his room all the time. We've tried all sorts of incentives to lure him out, no dice. He tells us social activities are boring & miserable.

But as a Mom I say -- not even once a week? Once a month? Not even just to help your Mom not worry about you so much?

Well, maybe it's more my problem than his. Good to hear the viewpts of 9Cat & Gatsby.

Best wishes.

I agree with Gatsby. I am considering joining a book club sponsored by my local library. I think it would be very interesting.

:wave: I worry about the same thing with my son. I have 4 kids, 7,5,2 and 5months. 3 boys & girl. My 7 year old and 2 year old boy are always with each other playing or fighting, When friends come over with children of any age or gender they are glued to each other. But my Autistic 5-year-old boy is always playing alone. I will play with him or take him by the hand to see what the other kids are doing but he really doesn’t want to. It breaks my heart. If I plan an art activity or play their favorite music it’s the only time he hangs out with anyone. Maybe art projects would still be good communication breaker. Yes I do think you should take him out. Even normal people caught in there own busy lives don’t realize how much they need human interaction. Brandi