I was told long time ago if you're in question about something
to CHECK, to ask, it doesnt matter how silly you may think the
question is, it better to ask. It seems it's always been hard for
me to do that for fear of looking like a fool, being wrong, being
make to feel dumb, or worst of all to get a fake/false response
know it but not know how to deal with it. (that's a whole new
thread in itself) I realize these boards move fast and I know I miss
a lot of things. I also realize these boards are here for to ask for
and offer help. This is hard for me I dont know why but I always
have a hard time expressing my feelings. Then I feel wrong guilty
for thinking about myself. It's so much easier safe to offer help,
encouragement to other then say how I feel. So enough babbling
I going to check now, I although I still feel it's silly. For some
reason here lately with the exception of a few I feel like I've done
something wrong, possibly offended some people here how
I dont know. Some would call it being oversenitive, but Ive read
oversentive people are very tunned in. Maybe Im just picking
up something else, I hope so, cause I this is my support system.
Thanks for your support, K

Not me! I personally liked your concept on how "normal' people are missing on some beautiful triats we BiPolar people have.... That made my day, it might not of been much but it was something to me!

It's the diease that enables us to write,say how we are feeling because of someone elses reaction! Don't feel that way on this board, this is what it's there for!

Someone posted not too long ago seeing things??? Now if you would of asked a normal person (what is normal anyways) this they would think your CRAZY we however could relate some way or another....

Hi, Kiehn:wave: I think that the most unique part of getting to know and learn from each of you here is that the sensitivity is what truly allows me (and I am sure, others) to see the beauty of each soul here on this board.:angel:

In reading each post I have learned alot that will help Erin in the future and although I am "normal" (something that is so subjective because I often question the use of the term:D ) I feel so at home here and it is because of wonderful boarders like you.

This IS a great place for support and what I really like about you, Kiehn, is that you make sure everybody is welcome and I can see that you get support by just letting others know that you are here "checking in" and posting words of great knowledge and the "reality" of just how difficult it is to be bipolar but how also it is part of being who you are.

I don't know you very well...but any friend of Ruth's is a friend of mine and I am sensitive too to the fact that you are having a rough time and will come for the support when you feel you are ready.;) I will admit that I haven't walked in your two shoes but I am always ready to give you some ((hugs)) and support in anyway that I can.

I hope that you keep checking in, because your presence here is like a breath of fresh air.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel:

Kiehn

Sometimes in the light of things, it is easy to feel that way in a crowd of cyber space people when responses are not made promptly, etc. I too, feel that way many times as well. It is not just you who also feels that way. In some sense, it is part of being Bipolar and sensitive. That is just plain okay.

My hubby gets very aggrivated because of this fact all the time; the sensativity factor. It drives him absolutely batty. It is one of my worst downfalls. You are not alone in it.

When it comes to the forum, it creates utter most havoc with my inner mind at times. That is hard to explain, but paranoia and insecurity also crash into the sensitivity as well. It all rolls into a huge snowball effect. Reading into things that aren't there is what happens at times.

I posted to you in the menopause problems ladies thread. Please read it. Don't go away Kiehn. You are very much cared about here. You need this forum for support and you have so much to offer everyone here.

Many hugs

Coffeegirl :angel:

Kiehn, I am the worst of the worst when it comes to keeping track of threads, and I end up feeling like I haven't been of the most support I can be. That if I don't get something said in my first response it slips off the first page or two and then I may have missed something someone asked of me.

I did try to use the "subscribe to thread" button below, but became overwhelmed by the number of threads that I DO respond to and found that I was missing some of the new threads that I really felt I could help with some basic information/been there stuff.

You have been here on the boards even before me and hoosierbj... I can't tell you how often I've fallen back on the concept of meeting at the "virtual park bench" or "virtual coffee shop" to express an actual friendship - the very real relationship - that I've developed with several of us at HealthBoards.

Kiehn, even if I don't get back to every thread I read, I can tell you that I cannot recall ANYthing that you might have said that would make anyone feel offended.
Besides which, most of us have problems with memory from meds anyway! Honest! My cognitive abilities aren't near what they used to be!!
AND besides THAT, what Bipolar in their right mind hasn't been totally ticked beyond all proportion?

Back awhile ago I had several posters on another board misunderstand something I said. They thought I was saying Mr. Ruth was a bad husband when I had tried to list the things he was NOT, and they thought I was listing things that he WAS.
Well, it snowballed with other people responding to the incorrect responses, and I was typing back (yelling) in all caps trying to fix it, and of course it was waaaay too out of proportion.

But did I act rational and just drop it? No, of course not.
I was all huffy for several months, refused to post on that board, it was pretty irrational considering all the HealthBoards means to me, you know??

I guess that I don't care if you DO ever offend me.
I understand.
And if you DON'T ever offend me, I may wonder about that diagnosis of Bipolar that you have my friend!!!

Kiehn, SUCH a big hug to you. You are part of my family, and closer to me than any of my "real live" sisters-in-law (who pretty much don't like me at all)
so you just go about being YOU, cause I love you just as who you are.
Ruth
:angel:

Wow, I am not bipolar and I have felt so left out since I joined this board. I guess we all have those feelings of wanting to be part of things and if we arent we think we did something wrong. Today seems to be one of those days for me in real life and here.

Hi kiehn
i want to start by saying what a fantastic person you are and what a lot of help and support you have offered me right from when i first joined these boards. you have never said anything to offend or upset me.
From what ive read of your posts i think you can be quite hard on yourself so please dont worry about things you probably havent done. Life is punishing enough, please dont put yourself under anymore unnecessary stress.
Ive been very upset with someone on this board who i have offered a lot of support and advice to, and now seems to have totally discarded me and my help. But i guess sometimes people can come across differently than how they intend to on here.
I just wanted to say you are a really valuable member of these boards:angel:

WoW what an overwhelming repsonse, I had to go ringout my beach towel
and try to regain some comprosure before I replied. If any of you were just
throwing words, you did an amazing job cause I bought every one.

Deenah, I dont know you well, but I get good vibes from you. Thanks so
much for the compliment. Looking forward to sharing more bipolar adventures. hugs, K

Goody, You see to have a wonderful outlook on things, Erin is very fortunate to have someone so a caring loving in her life. Your love for her shines thru your efforts to learn and understand. Thanks for the emotional uplift. Yes I agree Ruth is a cherish addition to this board. I hope we can get to know each other better thru our bipolar sharing and learning. hugs, K

Coffeegirl, I have so enjoyed reading and following your posts. You have always been there to let me know you care. Thanks for sharing you have had the same feelings, maybe fitting in is a human social need, I dont know.
Please check in anytime, if Im not the first one to repsond it was only because I was out shopping, cooking, going to the bathroom, or looking for a snack. lol. Thanks for your repsonse on the other thread, in the past I have left but I always come back which showed me, this is my problem or a bipolar attribute. Either way, I will learn from it and challenge it, just like I did here.
I hope you and anyone else will do the same. As for the hubby factor
are you sure we're not married to the same man. Na, my is home to much,
maybe their related, huh. I have at time told him, in the nicest way I can
in your eyes Im oversenitive, in mine this is normal, who's to say what is
normal, I accept your sentivity why do you riducule mine. Bipolar or not
there are millions of different levels of sentivity. He doesnt discount me so
much now, I dont know it's because he doesnt want to hear another one
of my concepts or if it struck home. It still one of those is it real or memorex.
You right I do need this forum. Last night as I was thinking how people often refer to bipolar like a roller coaster. I thought yes and no, true we have ups and downs but for most the best part is going down, not so for
a bipolar. I thought some more and decided it's more like a teeter toter,
you got to have friends to help up when your down and visa versa. see ya
around friend, hugs, K

Ruth, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG, NOR DID YOU MISS ANYTHING! But yes you
were one I was worried I had offended in some manner and being you replied
you eased that fear away. Thanks! How special of you to go back and look thru the board. Shows what type of person you really are, kind considerate, caring, loving with a dash of bipolar temper to give it color. I love it!
Yes, I do care if I offend you or anyone else for that matter, the problem is I dont know when I do it, (so Im always concerned I might have) and could really use the feedback of when and how I do it as well as how to fix it. OK, maybe some would think how odd, but it's one of my fears and reasons I dont socialize, dont have any close friends nearby. That's another one of those situations where expressing my deep honest feelings, compares to going out in public without clothes. No, Ruth, I have done it, only cause I fear people would fall over unable to breath from laughter. My husband just came in for the 3rd time and asked if I was writing a book. I guess I just want to express how nice it is to have friends and support here. You Ruth
come closest to understanding bipolar life as our age. I hope you dont mind if Im ever in doubt or need reasurrance, that I check in my friend. I feel honored you would consider me part of your family. Huge Hug, K

Marshmellow, I replied to your other post before I read your repsonse here.
I think you're right it human nature to want to feel excepted, to fit in. Your
name was enough for me, I accepted you right off the bat, it's too cute.
When I seen your name I thought sounds like a Sweet, Soft, Caring, Loving squishy spirit and after I read your post, the name fits. Keep posting if I dont repsond right away, Im off in bipolar wonderland, doing something or looking for a snack I cant have. : ( Welcome to the board, hugs, K

Hi fallenangel
I wanted to thank you not only for your reply, but for all the times
you've offered you support. You're right Im hard on myself, I guess
it could be a double edge sword so to say. Hmmm, did I start something
here or just open a door than was locked. Misunderstandings are so
common in life, but for some reason Im beginning to see, it's more
common than I thought for them to be swept under the rug, stuffed
inside where they evenually resuface one way or another. You are
not the first to mention similar feelings. I dont know your situation,
but I will tell you I have never read anything you have said as offending
to me or anyone else. I sure hope this will be an opportunity to resolve
this situation. Ive noticed here on this board I get so comfortable
and feel safe expressing my feelings sometimes I leave myself to open
add sentivity and I take someones opinion to personal. I ve probably
done the same to others they just never told me, I sure wish they would.
The last thing I would want to do untentionally offend someone, heck
if Im going to offend someone believe me there will be no doubt! lol
Wishing you the strength to rid yourself of this hurt. Good Luck, hugs, K

kiehn you sure made me smile thanks!!!!

Oh Keihn, please pass that beach towel over here... and sit down and tell me whether it was a response of mine, or something I didn't respond to that made you wonder if I was upset with you.

The truth is that for about the last year or so I have been much more cranky, short, opinionated and mouthier than ever. I had just hoped it wasn't spilling over here - and I'm afraid maybe it has.
I also will admit that I am not so good sometimes at remembering what has gone on in threads past... If I was still any good at poetry I'd write one called "A HealthBoards Story" about threads past, threads present and threads yet to be...
And EVERYone usually remembers that I DO have certain buttons that get pushed!!
Like, people who say that they are bipolar and don't take meds and lead some poor Type I Bipolar to toss their pills away and end up psychotic or suicidal.
I always rise to that bait I must admit.

Ok, I have no brain left to rake over the coals, so help me out here Kiehn!
Something I did? Or didn't do? My general yicky attitude?? And which one of us is older, anyway!!!
And thanks for being honest and blunt... I'm finding it harder & harder to catch the subtle stuff in my old age!
Hugs,
Ruth
:angel:

Oh Ruth,
You dont need the towel, you're special just as your are, but that's way I was concerned I had done something. Sometimes I pickup on vibes that have nothing to do with what going on. You didnt do anything wrong
I seen you posting here and there and I felt left out especially on the
menopause discussion. I dont know why I went to thru menopause so early when I started puberty so late but I kind of feel cheated I didnt have a group of friends to laugh about the trials of menopause. I just didnt feel like I fit in andI think I was in fear of loosing my closest friend here, because I didnt even know how to fit in. So I decided to do a reality check and everything is AOK. Yes I have a problem with insecurity, Im damn near
50 yrs old and still have insecurity issues. Pass me the passifer and I'll
shut up. I feel much better knowing everything is ok, it is ok right, lol
Thanks Ruth, you're much better than having a sister, mine never treated
me this good. Hugs and more hugs, K

Kiehn So glad to see you are still here. Fitting in is a social issue; plain and simple. It goes all around in all categories of life no matter where you are- with people in parties, social gatherings, family functions, or even at cyber chats, etc. It matters. So, I totally understand. It is something to not feel guilty, bad, or icky about either. Let it just be; as is, and move forward. If you move forward, then you can move ahead and go beyond.

Right now, I am struggling with moving forward. It is something I face every day. I try, and try, and I am determined to some day meet another mom who will and I mean, will accept me for who I am- the plain jane mom- that I am (not upscale like the rest of the other moms in the neighborhood)- and befriend me like others do in their groups. It is a goal. Instead of fear, it is a determination.

Continue to believe in yourself.

Take care of yourself. Hope to see you around again.

Many hugs

Coffeegirl :angel:

Ok Kiehn, NOW I follow you.
The thing is, I get vibes too, and mine are usually right - so I'm glad in this case that you checked cause this time it is a for sure thing that the vibes were off...

Let's make a sisterly pact NOT to trust our vibes over the internet. There are no eyes to look into, no sound of the voice to take into account, no brainwaves to sift through our vibe-o-meter....
Nope, not for us.
A simple,
Have I honked you off or what?! will do!!
Deal? (or no deal!)
The ORNERY sister,
Ruthie
:angel:

Coffee girl,
I hear ya loud and clear. We've live in this small town of less than 500
for over ten years. Both our daugbhters when to school and graduated here.
I dont have one friendship to show for it. This is eastern washington farm courntry yet I dont feel accepted, of course after my hospitalization several years ago every one knows of my condition and I think out of fear they dont know how to act or what to say around me. It's ok, here on this board people understand, its a safe place to learn, grow. Someday we'll both feel confident enough to fit in, anywhere, and have no fear that others know of our condition. In the meantime I hope we can help each other. ]
hugs K

Ruth
You certainly have the most character here,
no wonders I cheerish you friendship!

ABSOLUTE DEAL!!! WOMAN OF NOT ONLY
AMAZING CHARACTER BUT OF WISDOM

Now wait a minute why do you get to
be the onery sister, I have other sides.
(big smile) Thanks for making me smile!
dear Sister Ruthie, from Sister Susie

Now I feel left out but then again I have never been in!

I have been gone from the healthboards for 3 months because I was distracted with something else in life & felt I was a lot better ( ha) and also I got overwhelmed-too many wonderful boards for Schizoaffective Disorder, & I wanted to read everything & respond to everyone....then I'd feel bad that I couldn't answer all, like not answering a letter. Now I find myself having mental problems again but only coming here, at least for now I can't take all the overwhelming feeling with several subscriptions. I remember feeling slighted (to put it nicely) many times when I belonged to several groups. As everyone here has already said, it's easy to think that when people can't respond as fast as we like. So I'm trying to chill out & not get myself involved in too much. I've been reading some wonderful posts here & in the Schizophrenia thread...people think they're asking dumb questions or saying dumb things & I so often find they've helped me.

Marshmellow, start a new thread and tell us more about you!!!!

Maketheworldgoway, Welcom back!!!

Marshmallow, I was on the Outside too when I first started coming to the Bipolar Board. I'd actually found HealthBoards because my Dad died of Colon Cancer and I need some help from people who had been there.

It actually took me awhile to realize that there WAS a board for Bipolar folks here! I'm one of the luckier one's who respond really well to lithium and I didn't have alot of problems related to it.
THEN along came menopause.. Aaaaargh! And so I'd post here, and there, and usually no one ever came along to say "hey hoosierbj that was great!" or "thanks Ruth for the great insight".
But whenever I could maybe help someone out, or tell one of my earlier stories, or give a little perspective I would. Because I wish there had someone around when I was younger that would TRULY understand.

I think that because this is designed as a Message Board it's hard to keep track of people and threadlines. I gave up on the Subscriptions because I posted on so many that I was missing others all together.

Over time you do definitely get to know a few people really well, others by name but maybe won't remember their whole situation, sometimes you just have to accept that just because Ruth6:11 has almost 3400 posts doesn't mean a hill of beans!!!
I've seen people come on here and have just the right thing to say to someone where I could never have been of such help.
Post away Marshmallow, you're a part of the family whether you know it or not!
Ruth
:angel:

Ruth:wave: has so much wisdom, Marshmallow.....there was a time that just by reading her posts that I never thought she would respond to me....she seemed to be one of those wise women whose cloak you wanted to touch!!!:D And who would even think that as we posted side by side we would discover that we had alot of similarities and common morals and beliefs that go behind our posts.....knowing that every voice counts on here and that you can discover over time some friends and perhaps even cybertwins:wave:

Anyway....I chose my username because my little brother always referred to me as such just because I got my hallmark card to my dad before he did:D And sometimes I regret having chosen it but now I wouldn't have it any other way because it feels good to be Goody.....even if at times I am being Baddy!!;)

I am not Bipolar but have learned that everyone has a certain degree of sensitivity and wanting to belong. It's gotten extremely crowded in the Garden of Eden but we are all just as important and entitled to be who we were created to be!!:angel:

So nobody's left out...everybody counts, it's just sometimes we in our humaness overlook things and also are sensitive to other things which only reminds us of the fact that we ARE human.

Welcome, Marshmallow.....and I look forward to seeing more of you here.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel:

Oh geez Goody:wave:
I'm gonna have to be sick now!!
Don't listen to her Marshmallow, I've managed to hurt a few feelings around here including hers - See? She's so nice that she Deserves that name of hers!!
:angel:

Hehehehehehehehehehe:D

Okay...no time to be sick around here....and you never hurt my feelings, Ruth:wave: ....only had me worried for a bit about you but never did you hurt me in anyway!!! ;)

Okay back to the regularly scheduled program...where is Kiehn??? It's time for her to check in again!!!:D No pressure or rush, Kiehn, but Marshmallow and us need another appearance.....this thread isn't the same without you!!:)

Hope that you remember that we all have our moments and they always seem to pass....some stay a little bit longer but they do pass.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody trying not to be Baddy!!:wave:

Hi there, Is anyone out there? In the U.K. there has been a very informative, fascinating programme entitled A Day in the life of a manic-dpressive introduced by Stephen Fry. As I have suffered since late teens (I am now early fifties) with Bipolar, I felt compelled to watch it, and I was further prompted to look at the appropriate BBC website and now to here. Its been a long and difficult path.to arrive here. So I really wish to chat with fellow sufferers.

Sometimes in life things might appear to come across as trivial to ourselves but to others they are very crucial. Remember to always consider things on the keyboard and in written form are very much taken to heart moreso than verbal wise. ;)

Coffeegirl