Hi
I have son 3 1/2 years. He was born 12 weeks prematurely and because of this has been followed very closely by a variety of therapists since birth. He recently had assessment and was dx'd : moderate classical autism. I must admit that he has some serious behavior issues however I am not in sure I agree with the diagnosis and not sure what to do. All of the professionals that have been working with him seem to think that I am in denial. The explanation that they gave me when asked why he does not present as a "typically" autistic child is because he has learned how to cope in ways that help him fit in. I am wondering if there is anyone out there that was absolutely convinced that their child's autism dx was wrong and what the outcome was. I do believe that my son needs help. Part of me just says take the dx and get all of the help that we can. Another part of me says that maybe we are missing something and there could be a "better" (more appropriate or fitting) dx for him that might result in a different of more appropriate therapy for him.
I don't know and I feel completely lost. I have all of these professional supports around me but I feel like they (unofficially) dx'd him 2 years ago and since then have spent much effort confirming their suspicions. Yes, I know I must sound paranoid- but it is how I feel. I get this sense of "How can you not see that this child is clearly autistic?"
His behavior is challenging. He is a tornado and demanding. He bolts, and has very little sense of danger. He also has sensory issues and he can have issues with clothing. Like I said his speech is delay but improving. 9 months ago he had a vocabulary of over 100 words and today I don't think I could count his words and he is making sentences.

I am not afraid or disappointed of him being autistic- i love him no matter what - they can call him a purple martian for all I care ....

I could go on and on but I guess the bottom line is : I am wondering if there is anyone that has been in my position and what they did about it and the outcome.
Thanks for listening (reading)!

Swanlake,

Good luck to you and your son! Great news about his growing vocabulary and speech.

I'm not sure how well I can answer your question, but I'll try anyway.

My son turned 3 in mid September. I knew from very early on that he was different somehow. By the age of 2, he said maybe 5 words- neither of which were mommy or daddy. I was concerned that he might have had some hearing problems, but a test ruled that out. There was not a whole lot of eye contact, but that has really improved. Not long after his 2nd birthday, I contacted the state program for children 0-3 with developmental delays. It was agreed that there was a problem, and he was set up with home-based therapies for speech, occupational, and developmental. This summer he was in a 6-week summer school for delayed children, and now he's in a preschool run by the same program- for students with various delays. He has REALLY improved. His vocabulary is wonderful, and so on. But there are still obvious problems, and testing shows that in terms of speech and some motor skills, he's up to a year behind where he should be.

My husband has been in denial, I would say, in terms of something seriously being wrong. He knows our son is delayed, but has often said that most of his problems he'll grow out of.. or they're problems that most kids his age have. Thursday we learned the results & received a diagnosis of Autism. My husand's immediate reaction is no way, the lady is a quack, and so on. He is upset that now his child has a label on him, and I think he's scared of what that means for him as he grows older. Heck, I find myself doubting the results to an extent, because my son is (basically aside from communication/social skills) a typical 3 yr old boy. Or just taking his time in developing. (Even my son's teachers and therapists said they would be surprised if he were diagnosed with Autism). But the bottom line is there is no denying certain things. And wouldn't you rather know what is going on with your child, so you can better help them?

You can always get a second opinion, I would guess. Your child can be tested again before starting kindergarden, as our son will be. There is no reason IMO for treating the child any differently now that you have a diagnosis. It's easier said than done, I know. You almost can't help but look at them differently. But that's not really fair to them. Just give them as much as they need in terms of therapy and so on. My husband and I really don't have any real reason to change anything in our lives because of the word Autism. Our son is in a great school, in a very structured classroom. He's getting therapy in addition to it. He's definately the better for it, and I can't help but feel positive about the early intervention he's already gotten.

Hopefully you can work through it, as we are.. as we all are. I am finding myself feeling ill because of the diagnosis, even though there isn't really any reason to be upset about it. I'm also finding myself trying to avoid some family advice, because I have a young cousin who has Autism (more severely than my son). I'm not ready for those types of conversations yet. I'm not ready for people to tell me to change his diet, and so on. Maybe you feel the same way?

Sorry for rambling. :wave:

Hi, my daughter was also born 12 weeks premature and is also autistic but i would say mildy. She is now 13yrs old. I had the opposite to you though, they would not agree there was anything wrong with her, they kept saying she acted different because she was so premature and she will catch up by the age of 6 or 7 yrs of age. I would be so happy if i were you that they are recognising something is wrong while your son is young, as my child got NO help what so ever and her life was hell while she struggled through infant and junior school. If she had had a diagnosis she would have had all the help and understanding, but she had none. Your son will get the help and understanding he needs in school, and others will be understanding if he has tempers or does strange things. My daughter is now finally in a special school but has only been there for 3 weeks and she is 13 yrs old, how i wish someone would have picked up her autism sooner. When we finally got her diagnosed (aged 8) we were shattered, my hubby had tears in his eyes as we as parents will always worry about what will happen to them when we are not here, but my daughter leeds a normal life, has friends, goes out with them, laughs,jokes, cooks, she does not stand out in a crowd so you cannot 'see' her autism. She is more vulnerable than other children though. and she makes us laugh with her 'traits, we know her clothes must NOT have any tags in them, no seams in the arms of her tops, our animals are not allowed to wash themselves in front of her as she hates the noise. She says some really funny things sometimes too. Take all the help you can for now, and as time goes on if you feel that maybe your son is not Autistic ask for a second opion, but later on, wait to see if he seems more different to other kids as time goes on. He may only have slight aspergers which is like high acheiveing autism. Good luck and let me know how you get on.
willow

I am almost 42 years old, and I suspect I have Asperger's. People tell me that I have nothing wrong with me and that they think I am smart. I do know I have some unusual traits, though. A 42 year old woman who likes Roger Bannister and knows about his life and career can't be "normal" in my opinion. I am convinced that Roger Bannister may have very high functioning Asperger's, as he was different from others growing up, but became a top athlete and a physician. He was also very successful in life. He has been married for over 50 years and has four children and 14 grandchildren. He is a true success story, and a real inspiration to me.

I thought I'd shine a little hope into this thread. My son is 4.5 yrs old. We went through almost everything you all are talking about, at just under 12mths his pediatrican noticed there was something not right he wasn't pulling himself up to stand, he had sensory issues, didn't babble or coo but did respond to his name and had good eye contact. That started the journey, he was diagnosed 33% delayed in all areas and we began EI , we had 2 therapies a day 4 days a week, at about 16 months one of his more green therapists asked me if he'd been evaluated for autisim, I immediately called his pediatrician who informed me that an eval wouldn't be comprehensive at this point and they normally wait until 2 yrs. shoot had to wait, 2 months later it was suggested pdd/nos. so we carried on with the therapies my husband also in denial as I read up on the subject and became convinced that my son was autistic. TO make a REALLY LONG story short we had our final evals a feww months ago and although he still has some physical delays he's not on the spectrum he just started an intergrated pre-k and is doing great, he's starting to read and write a little and coming along with the social problems he had. There's hope the Dr's aren't always right beside's whose to say what's normal and what's not. I wish you luck in this journey. Always marvel at the complete courage these kids have to try and push themselves beyond their fears I know that is the biggest lesson I've learned in this is how bloody courageous my son is.