Listing my symptoms was a huge shock for me. I had never done that before, listed them, I mean, and it surprised me to find out how many I have.

Anyway, I'm past my denial. I think. Living like this is miserable, being tired all the time, and I'm sick of it. So what now? Is this time to go to a doctor? What kind of doctor--a regular doctor, or a specialist? This is weird...

lissa, start by talking to your parents if you can. If you feel uncomfortable talking to them, speak to someone you trust who can speak to them for you. But either way, your parents are the key to your recovery. Then you should see a dr and a psych to help deal with getting better, it's hard work, emotionally and physically. If you need support feel free to emila me or post. Good luck kid!
-Rachel
rachdaar@optonline.net

Hi Lissa,
Hope your going ok, Rachel has good advice here re; talking to your parents if you can. My mum really helped me with my Ed although it was very hard to admit it as I felt very ashamed. A psychologist or councillor is a great idea to talk about your feelings and it really helped me. There is alot of support out there and especially here on this board. If you can't see anyone yet try to write your feelings down and try to understand them. It's hard I know but try to take things one step at a time. Don't be too hard on yourself, this is not easy and remember you are not alone. Take care and report back.
Mel

I did it! I'm so proud of myself. I finally did it. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif I went to caringonline.com and took an eating disorder quiz (the EAT-26), which, of course, came back positive (I scored 27). It said there's reason to be concerned, and I should get a professional opinion. Then I actually showed my mom the results, and guess what? She doesn't believe me! I admit that I didn't show her my responses to the questions, but it took all I had to show her my results. I did tell her, though, that I've taken every single internet test I could find and they all said I have a problem.

I understand that those tests are certainly not 100%, and to get an accurate diagnosis I'd need to see a doctor.

But she says I'm okay, that there's nothing wrong. So now what? Does this mean that I actually am okay, and that I'm just freaking out over nothing? I'm confused.

You're mom is probably in denial about it because she thinks that it would reflect badly on her or she won't admit that anyone she knows and loves would get an ED or she is scared. Don't give in. Talk to your school counsolor about it. You can ask that he call your mom and suggest therapy. Even you don't have an ED (which is pretty obvious that you do) therapy never hurts. Many "normal" people are in therapy just because it's a stress relief.

Try to talk to your mom again. Tell her that you know inside you that you have a problem and that it really hurt you when you finally were able to open up to her and she just disregarded your feelings. Just try to get her to acknowledge that you know that you have a problem, which means that you really do, and that all you need is for her to be there to support you in your recovery.

I'm not in school anymore. I graduated class of '99. I don't have a counsellor I can talk to.

But what if she's right, and it's not anything serious? I constantly ask myself that. I mean, I don't vomit, and I don't use laxatives that often...and I do eat... So whatever I've got, it's just mild, right? Can't I just try to eat better? <sigh> That probably won't work, will it?

I ought to see my doctor about my allergies if I ever get around to it. Maybe I should just ask his opinion, if I can bring myself to do that...

Lissa, is there any way that you could find a couselor to talk to? You're obviously old enough to do things on your own, so start looking for a therapist that specializes in eating disorders. You're problem may not be life threatening right now, but that doesn't mean that they arn't serious. If they are controlling your life to any extent then there is reason to get help. And what doesn't get the attention to get better usually just gets worse. Have you tried seriously telling your family that it really hurts you when they talk about your weight and that you want them to just love you without critisism right now? You might try that.

Lissa, I'm SO glad you did what you did. That took a lot of courage, you're awesome. If you talk to a counsler in school you can ask them to call your house and tell your mom that she thinks you need help. Someone else telling your mom might get her to realize whats going on. If not, just keep telling her over and over. Good luck!
Rachel