Neleah
09-30-2006, 01:26 PM
It has been so helpful to read about the experiences of people with bp around here, especially when it comes to mania. I have repeatedly read that people also experience hopelessness while manic. I think I am not really sure what a mixed state is then. I talked to my (ex-)bf a few times this week and asked him how he is feeling currently. He said he feels motivated, able, optimistic and motivated. He feels clear and focused. But he does not believe there are genuine feelings and feels out of touch with his emotions. He does not trust people's emotions for him. He always feels angry and cold and while he does not always *act* angry, he goes into rages about everything that bothers him (which I witnessed on the phone). He cannot relate to other people's pain and he still does not have a sense of how I am feeling (but I don't really bring this up anymore). He feels he is above other people, more aware of things, has deeper insights, etc. A few days ago when we talked he was depressed (he said he feels like nothing matters, nothing is of a value, has been feeling like it for a while.
I am just describing this because I am wondering if this would be mania or a mixed state, if this sounds familiar to people, if anyone has any input and, well, to get it off my chest around people who can relate.And who knows, perhaps it's helpful for someone just like other accounts are so helpful for me.
You all have a great weekend!
I am just describing this because I am wondering if this would be mania or a mixed state, if this sounds familiar to people, if anyone has any input and, well, to get it off my chest around people who can relate.And who knows, perhaps it's helpful for someone just like other accounts are so helpful for me.
You all have a great weekend!
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jgr01
10-01-2006, 05:16 PM
Hi Nealah,
well, he could be mixed but more likely rapid cycling imho.
jgr
well, he could be mixed but more likely rapid cycling imho.
jgr
Neleah
10-01-2006, 05:53 PM
Thanks for the reply. You think it could be rapid cycling? Thing is that when he was stable, he occasionally (once a week or less) was manic (with delusions) or depressed for perhaps a few hours and then went back to normal. Around June he seemed to cycle a lot more and was manic or depressed more often, but never for longer than perhaps a day at most with many normal days in between (which seemed more like rapid cycling to me, but what do I know...). For the past two months, he has been *continuously* aggressive, angry, emotionally detached, distrustful of people's emotions, as well as delusional more often.
So while he feels motivated, optimistic, and able on the surface, he simultaneously feels that nothing matters and everything, especially emotions is not real and worthless under the surface. Does that sound familiar to anyone?
So while he feels motivated, optimistic, and able on the surface, he simultaneously feels that nothing matters and everything, especially emotions is not real and worthless under the surface. Does that sound familiar to anyone?
frozeninside
10-01-2006, 08:40 PM
So while he feels motivated, optimistic, and able on the surface, he simultaneously feels that nothing matters and everything, especially emotions is not real and worthless under the surface. Does that sound familiar to anyone?
Count me in.
I wish I had an answer. Better yet, a solution.
Count me in.
I wish I had an answer. Better yet, a solution.
makeworldgoaway
10-01-2006, 11:41 PM
Sums up how I feel to a tee!:confused:
Neleah
10-02-2006, 12:03 AM
Thank you both for replying. It really helps me to know that other people with bp feel this way, too, although I am sorry to hear it at the same time...it must be so tough.
Is there anything you would advise a loved one to do when someone feels like this? We are currently separated, but I want to be there for him as much as my own well-being allows.
I just don't know what to do or how to act...:confused:
Is there anything you would advise a loved one to do when someone feels like this? We are currently separated, but I want to be there for him as much as my own well-being allows.
I just don't know what to do or how to act...:confused:
jgr01
10-02-2006, 07:56 AM
i know that's how i have been for about 2 months, but my pdoc who i saw on Friday thinks i'm rapid cycling not mixed. This left me very confused. However since I've upped my dose and added a tranq I feel quite a bit better. I even did step this morning which is the first time in about 3 months.
Neleah
10-02-2006, 04:39 PM
i know that's how i have been for about 2 months, but my pdoc who i saw on Friday thinks i'm rapid cycling not mixed. This left me very confused. However since I've upped my dose and added a tranq I feel quite a bit better. I even did step this morning which is the first time in about 3 months.
That's great that you are feeling better! :)
I am not an expert of course, but I had assumed that what he went through before this was rapid cycling and this is a mixed state (there is more consistency in this and no "normal" state).
That's great that you are feeling better! :)
I am not an expert of course, but I had assumed that what he went through before this was rapid cycling and this is a mixed state (there is more consistency in this and no "normal" state).
GatsbyLuvr1920
10-02-2006, 08:18 PM
Many people who experience mixed episodes describe having a "tired but wired" feeling, where they are restless, anxious, and wanting to get things accomplished from the mania, but where they cannot move or get out of bed because of the depression. This causes extreme irritability and frustration because of the fact that they are unable to release their intense energy. It's a very contradictory state. And, of course, since mixed episodes are a combination of depression and mania, there has to be psychotic symptoms. They may be in the form of psychotic depressive symptoms, and these delusions/hallucinations are more common than the grandiose delusions seen in regular mania.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
Neleah
10-02-2006, 10:27 PM
GatsbyLuvr, thank you! Part of what you said rings a bell. I can see how on the one hand there is all that energy (it's an angry energy or so it seems to me) and on the other hand there is no release, except when he goes into a rage or grandiose speech.
And there is nothing I can do. He refuses to believe that he is ill and I don't bring it up anymore. I am just worried because he seems increasingly more "out there" and I wonder just how much more there is to come...
And there is nothing I can do. He refuses to believe that he is ill and I don't bring it up anymore. I am just worried because he seems increasingly more "out there" and I wonder just how much more there is to come...