Hi everyone!

I haven't been posting much lately, as things in my life were seemingly on the upswing. I'm trying very hard to eat healthily now, but I have gained weight and it is causing me extreme depression. My boyfriend is being very good about my weight gain, but I know that he can tell I've put some on. And I'm finding that I'm binge eating a lot lately, too. I'm so used to eating so little, that eating a more "normal" amount (aiming for 1000 calories a day) is giving me that feeling of "well, i've ate so much already, might as well just blow it and eat tons of junk food." This, of course, is packing on the pounds and I feel bad about it. I even cut myself last night for the first time in probably over a month. And I hate how my weight gain is affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. I don't even want to have sex with him because I'm so ashamed of how fat I am now, I don't want him to see all my flab. I feel very unattractive, I can barely even stand to have him hug me because I'm afraid he can feel my fat through my clothes. i hope things pick up again soon, my brief time with happiness was wondeful. I hope everyone here is doing well, or is at least on the road to feeling well.

Fiona

Fiona-
It sounds like your boyfriend wants you to get better. You said that he wants you to eat more. I am sure that he is happy with what you are doing. It sounds like he really cares about you and wants you to gain some weight. Don't get so down on yourself when you start gaing weight again...think of food as medicine. It will help you feel better. And if you feel like you are going to binge, call your boyfriend and have him come over to your house. Get away from the food.

I hope you realize that you can beat this problem. You are stronger then you know...

Love, Jen

Hi Fiona,
You are doing great. Your boyfriend is probobly really proud of you cause you are getting better. It is hard at first but it just takes some getting used to. You will adjust and get healthy and this will help both of you. Hang in there and don't worry I found my meatbolism sped up when I started eating properly it just feels weird for a while. Things will settle and the urges to eat are all normal cause your body needs the nutrients. Take care.
Mel