I am depressed because i have tried for a baby for 5 years with no success and i am finding it really diffacult at the moment and its killing me and it doesn't help my brothers girlfriend is 2 weeks away from having her baby that they both dont give a monkeys about and they dont have a clue what they are doing. I can't help but feel jealous and hurt but then again i feel guilty for feeling this way. I cry everyday and sometimes i think i dont want to go on anymore.

What do i do ?

I know its not the end of the world but it still plays a HUGE part in my life and its affecting me.

Caz and Kenny < my fiance lol

Caz, I think it's pretty understandable what you're feeling right now.:) I have an ex-sister-in-law that has been trying for 15 years herself. I really think she would've made an awsome mother. The dr kept giving them all kinds of reasons and things to try..but it was not meant to be. Her husband drank a lot and they think it's part of the reason...he is not expected to live much longer because of his drinking. All the same, it's just not fair to her. But, at the same time, I've known of women who did get pregnant after trying for so long. Have you been seeing a dr? One who specializes in fertility? I think it would be a good idea to let your dr know how you've been feeling.

I know it's not fair to have to sit by and watch your brother and his wife~~you could either stay away or totally get involved. It might hurt to get involved, but it sounds like the baby might need you. My ex stole my 3 children for a couple of years and I did a lot of crying too. It made me so angry when I saw people not care for their children and here I was a good mother without hers. I had to stay away from other children for a long time..it hurt too much.

I would go on ahead and give your dr a call, he could help you deal with your emotions. And don't give up, it might just happen when you least expect it:angel:

Yeah i am at a fertility clinic and they told me things are making progress because i have the condition PCOS = Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and my periods were irregular and a few other stuff like didnt ovulate but i have lost a stone and they are regular again. But what bothers me is i think theres some other problem because i havnt always had PCOS i only had it for 2 to 3 years and ive been trying for a baby for 5 years and my periods/health and weight used to be normal and healthy so still nothing happened.

My brother and his GIRLFRIEND hehehe not married hun (shes younger than me) they want me to help out with the baby coz my lazy brother is planning on getting a job so he says but probably won't last LOL but i have an excuse not to help out coz they want me up there helping her EVERYDAY it would be a nightmare. Thank god i have togo on a training course .

So, im not sure if i should ask this and you dont have to answer but have you got your children back ?

Oh and i forgot i am VERY sorry to hear about your sister and her husband she doesnt need him to drink she needs him there doesnt she? poor thing . Have they thought of adoption or any donors?

I want to donate my eggs one day even if i am going thru IVF one day and i can get a discount/free ivf attempt but my consultant doesnt think i will need ivf at all. But hey i still wanna donate my eggs and make someone else's dreams come true.

:-) anyone want to reply

I know I will not be of much help, but other people have difficulties in their lives too. I thought my sister had it all....husband had a great job and she did too, as well, and had a girl and a baby boy. I had two boys and had wanted a girl. Yes, I knew I was jealous....but then she lost her 6 month old boy to SIDS and her husband was laid off from his dream job a few years later. Things have worked out over the years...she had another girl after her baby died. They have weathered some pretty difficult times though.

On the flip side, a sales rep and his wife that I know, had tried for about 15 years to have a baby...doing all testing and fertility treatments to no avail.
When they were 44 years old, she found out she was pregnant. they had a girl, who is now in 4th grade.

It can be very depressing not to be able to conceive, but I haven't gone through what you are going through...only have watched from the sidelines when people I know are having this problem and the pain and emotional roller coaster they had.

Are you in counseling for this?

Hi, Caz! I have been right where you are now, my dear! Not a fun time, at all! My husband & I went thru 6 yrs. of infertility. I am here to tell you that there is hope! I went thru IVF and got pregant. Then, had an early miscarriage that was very difficult, to say the least! We then moved to another State for my husband's job and started the adoption process to go to China. (I didn't think I could go thru another IVF again.) Well, I knew I didn't feel well--to find out--I was pregant! No drugs, no IVF...I was shocked, to say the least. When you hear many Doctors say it won't happen without IVF--you start to believe that! Then, at 23 weeks of pregancy, I went into pre-term labor and almost lost our baby! I spent a long time in the hospital flat on my back! Then finally went home week #28 and STILL had bedrest until baby was born at week #35! (early, but totally healthy&beautiful bouncy baby boy!) Now, he is in the first grade one of the biggest joys of my life! All I can say today is that the whole fight to have him was WORTH every tear and heartbreak I experienced!!! DO NOT give up and remember that God has a plan for you and your future child! Tell yourself that one day you WILL be a Mom---one way or another---and it will happen!! Feel free and ask any ? you may have and post anytime! Kym. :D

I agree with the other posters---don't ever give up!! I'm not sure off all the things fertility dr's can do, but I'll bet it will happen when you least expect it.:)

I did get my girls back:D , but my son chose to stay with his dad. I'm sure my ex had put a major guilt trip on my son. Up until this last summer, I was able to spend a lot of time with him, but he works a job now and can't get away so much. (he is 17) I know he would've been better off with me.

My ex-sister in law, is, I think feeling almost grateful that they didn't have a child now. Her husband has been ill for the last ten years or so, and they think he only has a few months to live. Everything has been so hard for her. While he is not an abusive person while he is drunk--the fact is, he wouldn't have been there for her let alone a baby. All the same, the dr's feel that his drinking is why she couldn't get pregnant. Now, that's not fair.

I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to help out with the new baby--does or will the mom plan on working? I'm kind or shocked that they would consider having you help so much considering.

I hope you are feeling a little better:angel: Keep in touch!

no counselling i am looking into it. I think that is amazing that she fell pregnant when she stopped all treatments , thats brilliant.

so sorry for her loss too i hope she is feeling ok ? and yeah its a very very long huge roller coaster :-(

thanks so much for ur reply , it makes ya think when you see other peoples problems .









I know I will not be of much help, but other people have difficulties in their lives too. I thought my sister had it all....husband had a great job and she did too, as well, and had a girl and a baby boy. I had two boys and had wanted a girl. Yes, I knew I was jealous....but then she lost her 6 month old boy to SIDS and her husband was laid off from his dream job a few years later. Things have worked out over the years...she had another girl after her baby died. They have weathered some pretty difficult times though.

On the flip side, a sales rep and his wife that I know, had tried for about 15 years to have a baby...doing all testing and fertility treatments to no avail.
When they were 44 years old, she found out she was pregnant. they had a girl, who is now in 4th grade.

It can be very depressing not to be able to conceive, but I haven't gone through what you are going through...only have watched from the sidelines when people I know are having this problem and the pain and emotional roller coaster they had.

Are you in counseling for this?

i want to say congratulations for falling pregnant without any treatment (when you was going thru adoption process after your IVF-miscarriage) , i hear success storys alot and it feels good. I try so so hard to think positive and to think YEAH i am gonna be a mother one day but after 5 years you kinda think it aint mean't to be. Although in your wonderful situation u was mean't to be and its soooooo good how things have turned out for you and i am sorry for your loss.







Hi, Caz! I have been right where you are now, my dear! Not a fun time, at all! My husband & I went thru 6 yrs. of infertility. I am here to tell you that there is hope! I went thru IVF and got pregant. Then, had an early miscarriage that was very difficult, to say the least! We then moved to another State for my husband's job and started the adoption process to go to China. (I didn't think I could go thru another IVF again.) Well, I knew I didn't feel well--to find out--I was pregant! No drugs, no IVF...I was shocked, to say the least. When you hear many Doctors say it won't happen without IVF--you start to believe that! Then, at 23 weeks of pregancy, I went into pre-term labor and almost lost our baby! I spent a long time in the hospital flat on my back! Then finally went home week #28 and STILL had bedrest until baby was born at week #35! (early, but totally healthy&beautiful bouncy baby boy!) Now, he is in the first grade one of the biggest joys of my life! All I can say today is that the whole fight to have him was WORTH every tear and heartbreak I experienced!!! DO NOT give up and remember that God has a plan for you and your future child! Tell yourself that one day you WILL be a Mom---one way or another---and it will happen!! Feel free and ask any ? you may have and post anytime! Kym. :D

Thanks for your reply as well sweetie and i just want to say i hope things improve with her husband although i bet you think it won't . some people have the strength , some people dont unfortunately. Glad you are seeing your son must have been alot of fun, did you go shopping and cinema together that kind of stuff? as for my brothers girlfriend she isnt planning on working and i think they was been very selfish to expect me to help out every other day , but i KNOW it would get to the point where they would want me up there everyday. I have to lie to my family though ,except my mum and dad, but i lie to my brother and his girlfriend saying i DONT want kids and stuff so that his girlfriend doesnt rub it in about her pregnancy because we get on sooooo well and we always have i love her so much like shes my sister or something but one day me, my brother and his girlfriend went to my mums for dinner and i had an announcment (kenny my fiance wasnt there)- the announcment, Kenny proposed and bought me a beautiful expensive ring *im looking at it now*, and everyone was like "awwwwwww thats lovely news well done" because a couple of my mum and dads friends turned up to have dinner too LOL. So everyone was so happy for me but then my brothers girlfriend later on was like "oh weve been together longer than caz and kenny and you not bought me a ring" to my brother and she was in a good mood when she was saying it , but she was nagging my brother and she got so bad at nagging she started nagging my parents for them to get my brother to get engaged to them but , he just wasnt ready yet plus he doesnt work so he had no money.

So , when everyone was looking at my ring she kept on looking at it in a jealousish way. and when i told her i was infertile to share my worrys a few month later she was supportive but then she found out she was pregnant and then rubbed it in my face for months of her pregnancy with the odd little comment .


ne way so why should i help out when they r the parents-to-be and i have fertility issues and they know my weak points. She said to my brother that she was worried i would wake the baby up when hes here and that i'd wanna hold him all the time. I know its silly , but, i dont wanna hold him too painful maybe i would when i am having a good day (inside-feelings wise).







I agree with the other posters---don't ever give up!! I'm not sure off all the things fertility dr's can do, but I'll bet it will happen when you least expect it.:)

I did get my girls back:D , but my son chose to stay with his dad. I'm sure my ex had put a major guilt trip on my son. Up until this last summer, I was able to spend a lot of time with him, but he works a job now and can't get away so much. (he is 17) I know he would've been better off with me.

My ex-sister in law, is, I think feeling almost grateful that they didn't have a child now. Her husband has been ill for the last ten years or so, and they think he only has a few months to live. Everything has been so hard for her. While he is not an abusive person while he is drunk--the fact is, he wouldn't have been there for her let alone a baby. All the same, the dr's feel that his drinking is why she couldn't get pregnant. Now, that's not fair.

I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to help out with the new baby--does or will the mom plan on working? I'm kind or shocked that they would consider having you help so much considering.

I hope you are feeling a little better:angel: Keep in touch!

Caz--wow, are you sure she's a "friend"--sounds awfully jealous to me. Who, in their right mind would wake a baby just to hold it--all the time. I admit that when relatives came that rarely saw my children, it wasn't unusual to wake one of the children--but that's differant. Ouch--can't believe she said that. Don't let it bother you:angel: If she's not working, there really is no reason for you to be there all the time.

I try to do as much as I can with my son when I see him--this last year was hard because of my injuries and headaches, but I do my best. We have a big screen so he likes to get me to play video games. I'm sooo lousy at it. He likes to work on vehicles and gopher hunt too. My dad said that I'm pretty mechanicially inclined, so working on the vehicles is fun...though I don't accomplish much:dizzy: We are having some problems right now (I posted about it) but I think all he needs is more time with me. It so sad what divorce can do to kids. I feel so guilty sometimes.

I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope you get that wonderful surprize one day--and you will. I know it's hard to think positive--but do try. I hope you're having a good day:wave: