frozeninside
10-02-2006, 12:07 PM
So, I was offered the position with the furniture store as a clerical/sales support person, and I accepted it. This was done over the phone on Friday. I said yes to the job, even though I would only be getting 25 hours per week.
Additionally, I informed the woman that I would need to give my current employer a 2 week notice...and her tone of voice took a nosedive. She sounded quite taken aback, and a little angry. ?? I tried to explain that I am still on their schedule but am leaving because their staff is growing and they can no longer offer me full-time hours, among other reasons already discussed. The main thing is, even though I said, out of nervousness, in the interview I could start immediately...(stupid!!!) it is only commonplace to give a 2 week notice. Right??
AND...I was talking to my assistant manager/friend, the one who thinks she's a psychiatrist, I don't have any "condition," yada yada yada, about some of this, and she is trying to tell me what to do---"You make rash decisions, why would you leave a job where we all know and understand the way you are some days, and we accept it...how do you know they will be that way over there? Why are you even leaving a place where you feel comfortable? You can have full-time hours back if you just ask, you requested to cut your hours back after the hospital stay..."(she TOLD me they don't have ANY room to add hours because of all of the new employees)...
I am SO mixed up. Now, I am supposed to meet with the woman at the furniture store today to "sign some papers" and go over things and I don't know what to tell her because I don't know what job I really want or can handle if any at all aoeufghso'bao'uhg'woauu'weg
Additionally, I informed the woman that I would need to give my current employer a 2 week notice...and her tone of voice took a nosedive. She sounded quite taken aback, and a little angry. ?? I tried to explain that I am still on their schedule but am leaving because their staff is growing and they can no longer offer me full-time hours, among other reasons already discussed. The main thing is, even though I said, out of nervousness, in the interview I could start immediately...(stupid!!!) it is only commonplace to give a 2 week notice. Right??
AND...I was talking to my assistant manager/friend, the one who thinks she's a psychiatrist, I don't have any "condition," yada yada yada, about some of this, and she is trying to tell me what to do---"You make rash decisions, why would you leave a job where we all know and understand the way you are some days, and we accept it...how do you know they will be that way over there? Why are you even leaving a place where you feel comfortable? You can have full-time hours back if you just ask, you requested to cut your hours back after the hospital stay..."(she TOLD me they don't have ANY room to add hours because of all of the new employees)...
I am SO mixed up. Now, I am supposed to meet with the woman at the furniture store today to "sign some papers" and go over things and I don't know what to tell her because I don't know what job I really want or can handle if any at all aoeufghso'bao'uhg'woauu'weg
Sponsor
gav_73
10-02-2006, 01:08 PM
Hi Frozen,
I don't have much time to write, but I wanted to say something. Before I met with the furniture store, I would take a big step back and myself if I really want to leave my old job if they are willing to give me more hours. In addition, I am wondering if there is something more to your searching for a new job than just the hours since you are leaving one part-time job for another. If you feel comfortable at the old job and they are willing to work with you, do you feel like it deserves additional consideration? Do you really like it? If so, I wouldn't leave just because you were hired at the other place. People change their minds all the time. But, if you leave the old one that you liked because of the hours, you could be jumping into another that you might not like at all. You need to really think about what it is that YOU want. Don't let others make these decisions for you, or don't feel pressured to make a decision you aren't ready to make. Try to take a step back and see the bigger picture and make the decision that is best for YOU. If you think you want to stay at your current job but need more hours, ask your manager to make a commitment to full-time hours for you, tell her/him that you need the full-time hours and that is the only way you can stay, that you've been getting mixed messages and thought you needed to leave. If that is not the case, make them commit to what they're saying, either in writing, by email or through human resources, or whatever. Then, if that is the decision you think you want to make, just call the furniture store up and tell them your old job made a counter offer, and you're going to take it. And that's that.
Good luck! :)
I don't have much time to write, but I wanted to say something. Before I met with the furniture store, I would take a big step back and myself if I really want to leave my old job if they are willing to give me more hours. In addition, I am wondering if there is something more to your searching for a new job than just the hours since you are leaving one part-time job for another. If you feel comfortable at the old job and they are willing to work with you, do you feel like it deserves additional consideration? Do you really like it? If so, I wouldn't leave just because you were hired at the other place. People change their minds all the time. But, if you leave the old one that you liked because of the hours, you could be jumping into another that you might not like at all. You need to really think about what it is that YOU want. Don't let others make these decisions for you, or don't feel pressured to make a decision you aren't ready to make. Try to take a step back and see the bigger picture and make the decision that is best for YOU. If you think you want to stay at your current job but need more hours, ask your manager to make a commitment to full-time hours for you, tell her/him that you need the full-time hours and that is the only way you can stay, that you've been getting mixed messages and thought you needed to leave. If that is not the case, make them commit to what they're saying, either in writing, by email or through human resources, or whatever. Then, if that is the decision you think you want to make, just call the furniture store up and tell them your old job made a counter offer, and you're going to take it. And that's that.
Good luck! :)
goody2shuz
10-02-2006, 09:10 PM
Frozen ~ I must agree with Gav on this one. I know with my daughter that when she is going through a manic state she makes quic decisions without really thinking it through. And then when things level out again she is upset with having made such a decision.
Also ~ any sudden changes will increase the stress you have...seems like the job you have now are accommodating you and are quite understanding of your BP.
By your recent posts here, I think that any changes right now may make things worse....just wanted to say it like I see it.;) You said on your other thread that you are feeling like you did just before you ended up in the hospital. I say leave things as they are until you are feeling more stable.
Take care of yourself first and once you are on your feet again you can always reevaluate things.
I hope you are feeling better. Let us know what you decide to do.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel:
Also ~ any sudden changes will increase the stress you have...seems like the job you have now are accommodating you and are quite understanding of your BP.
By your recent posts here, I think that any changes right now may make things worse....just wanted to say it like I see it.;) You said on your other thread that you are feeling like you did just before you ended up in the hospital. I say leave things as they are until you are feeling more stable.
Take care of yourself first and once you are on your feet again you can always reevaluate things.
I hope you are feeling better. Let us know what you decide to do.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel:
frozeninside
10-02-2006, 11:57 PM
Thanks guys...I definitely made this job switch decision on the fly, no thought process was involved. Second decision (job-wise) that I've made and backed out of actually...but it went, Application. Interview. Okay. Until this morning when I called her and said that I spoke with my current employer and they are willing to offer me full-time hours which is what I am looking for currently, some other stuff, thank you for your time and effort...all she said was, "well, ok, thanks for the call, it was nice to have met you." Then, CLICK. She hung up on me.
I went to work today depressed already and I'm still just not completely happy where I am. I have my days. I just want a change but I know the state, or states I'm in do not warrant sudden changes. There's so much I want. I want to be able to return to college. I want to be a photographer. Or therapist. I want to be more social, I want someone to love me, I WANT A BOYFRIEND (tears!!!) I want to be able to go to work without people wondering, "what's her problem?" I just want peace. Clarity. A definitive and clear view of things. That's all really. I guess that's asking a whole lot.
I went to work today depressed already and I'm still just not completely happy where I am. I have my days. I just want a change but I know the state, or states I'm in do not warrant sudden changes. There's so much I want. I want to be able to return to college. I want to be a photographer. Or therapist. I want to be more social, I want someone to love me, I WANT A BOYFRIEND (tears!!!) I want to be able to go to work without people wondering, "what's her problem?" I just want peace. Clarity. A definitive and clear view of things. That's all really. I guess that's asking a whole lot.
gav_73
10-03-2006, 01:29 AM
Frozen, I think you made a very wise choice. And don't worry about the way that lady handled the situation (hanging up on you like that, really immature in my opinion). Look at it like this, you saved yourself from working for a woman who acts so unprofessionally. Imagine if you needed her understanding or support at an inconvenient time if she acts this way over something that managers deal with every day! And think of it this way, that lady was mad because she couldn't have you! Not a lot of people can say that, gal! Pat yourself on the back for that.
And your desires and dreams are not irrational, nor or they illogical--they can come true for you, too, Frozen. You are only just now getting help. Things will get better for you one day, that's the whole point, right? Look at it this way, at least you still have desires and dreams, at least you still know what you want out of life. I'm sure some people with this disorder get to the point where nothing matters at all, where they can't think of one thing that motivates them to live. It sounds like you are the complete opposite of that--you want desperately to live, and live well. That's a lot!
And all of those things are achievable! They will happen in due time, one step at a time. Once you get your meds straightened out and stabilized, those things are going to easily be within arms reach for you.
You know, I have been so consumed with anger inside of me for the past couple of years that has progressively gotten worse. Just this week (maybe a sign that my medication is working?) I made a promise to myself that I was going to make a conscious effort to change my thought processes. When I feel myself getting angry or thinking irrational, bitter thoughts, I am going to consciously try my damnedest to replace them with something positive, like thoughts of my daughter or my husband, or all the things I have going for me. It is going to be very difficult, as it has become second nature to think negative thoughts about things. But I think it is a great idea. Although it hasn't worked completely, I do find myself thinking of it everyday. And now it is creeping into my thoughts when I say something negative--like, gosh, I should have stopped myself from saying that. I've got a long way to go, but it's a start and I think we could all use a little of that. We should make a pact to do it together. :D
Anyway, I just wanted to point out all the good things you have going for you. If it's at all possible, maybe you could use them and join me in this exercise, too. I think it is so easy to lose ourselves in this disorder, forgetting that we are still very powerful, unique individuals with lots of control over our own destiny. We just need to take it by the horns and think YES, instead of NO!
Best of luck! :wave:
And your desires and dreams are not irrational, nor or they illogical--they can come true for you, too, Frozen. You are only just now getting help. Things will get better for you one day, that's the whole point, right? Look at it this way, at least you still have desires and dreams, at least you still know what you want out of life. I'm sure some people with this disorder get to the point where nothing matters at all, where they can't think of one thing that motivates them to live. It sounds like you are the complete opposite of that--you want desperately to live, and live well. That's a lot!
And all of those things are achievable! They will happen in due time, one step at a time. Once you get your meds straightened out and stabilized, those things are going to easily be within arms reach for you.
You know, I have been so consumed with anger inside of me for the past couple of years that has progressively gotten worse. Just this week (maybe a sign that my medication is working?) I made a promise to myself that I was going to make a conscious effort to change my thought processes. When I feel myself getting angry or thinking irrational, bitter thoughts, I am going to consciously try my damnedest to replace them with something positive, like thoughts of my daughter or my husband, or all the things I have going for me. It is going to be very difficult, as it has become second nature to think negative thoughts about things. But I think it is a great idea. Although it hasn't worked completely, I do find myself thinking of it everyday. And now it is creeping into my thoughts when I say something negative--like, gosh, I should have stopped myself from saying that. I've got a long way to go, but it's a start and I think we could all use a little of that. We should make a pact to do it together. :D
Anyway, I just wanted to point out all the good things you have going for you. If it's at all possible, maybe you could use them and join me in this exercise, too. I think it is so easy to lose ourselves in this disorder, forgetting that we are still very powerful, unique individuals with lots of control over our own destiny. We just need to take it by the horns and think YES, instead of NO!
Best of luck! :wave:
frozeninside
10-03-2006, 08:17 AM
Thank you gav...you are so wise...all of your points were right on the money...you always make me feel better!!
How happy I am for you that you are able to change your thought processes! That's a huge undertaking...are you doing this through CBT with your therapist, or on your own?
When I got out of the hospital I made this gigantic list. A positive list. I might share it later. But one of the items was to record all of my negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones each day. I have yet to do it...
How happy I am for you that you are able to change your thought processes! That's a huge undertaking...are you doing this through CBT with your therapist, or on your own?
When I got out of the hospital I made this gigantic list. A positive list. I might share it later. But one of the items was to record all of my negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones each day. I have yet to do it...
gav_73
10-03-2006, 10:19 AM
Well, I wanted to make sure not to set any "unrealistic" goals, an old habit I am trying to change. I think writing everything down would be too unrealistic. Baby steps are what I'm taking here, trying to change old habits into new ones. I figured this was a good place to start because my negativity is making me (and others) miserable. And I NEVER used to be that way. Actually, my mom was, and I remember telling myself one time that I NEVER, EVER, EVER wanted to be like that because it was so utterly annoying. But here I am, turning into that person, and I hate it. Anyway, it's just an exercise to think about that I wanted to do on my own (not part of CBT, although I plan to tell her all about it today). But I know myself, and if I get too excited and set the bar so high (such as writing all my thoughts down), I will not reach it, particularly with everything else going on. It's just something to think about every day that I want to eventually overtake my regular thought processes and happen at the right time. Does that make any sense? I don't want it to be a "formal" exercise as much as I want it to be an exercise that WORKS! :D
And thank you so much for the compliments! You guys make me feel good, too. :angel:
And thank you so much for the compliments! You guys make me feel good, too. :angel: