Hi, I'm new..I didn't know exactly where I should post this, but figured this would be the best place?

I've been feeling really down lately...Well, I don't know if it would be DOWN or just overwhelmed.

In the fall of 2003 my father was diagnosed with renal failure and then in January of 2004, just days before I was going to get tested as a possible donor match, I found out I was pregnant. I love my daughter very much (she's officially two today)...but it's gotten really hard. I do have the support of her father (we live together, will get married as soon as finances allow), but I feel so isolated. I don't have any friends anymore because my old friends just don't understand the difficulties of raising a child and I don't know any other parents. I'm a full-time student and it's just HARD. I went back when she was 3 months old and have done horribly ever since. If I could finish this semester I'd only have 15 hours left before graduating but I've already started messing up...I missed a test last week because of an ear infection (I didn't know there was a test that day), haven't been going to classes consistently, I have two papers due tomorrow and there's no way I can get them done..I'm constantly worrying about our finances...My fiance doesn't make a lot of money--just enough to get by...So we have some credit card debt. It's not out of control but it feels like we're getting closer to the edge. I mean we can't even afford health care for our daughter (I need to renew her medicaid)...and I have no energy for anything. I want to sleep a LOT. I've been feeling horrible with myself--I feel ugly and fat and basically all the stuff you'd associate with that (I am overweight), and while my fiance understands that it frustrates him too sometimes because it has depressed my "drive" for intimacy if ya get what I'm saying. I can't really talk to my parents/family because they basically say "You gotta suck it up and get over it and get through school." I don't know if part of the reason I keep doing badly in school is because I'm SCARED to graduate. I will have to get a job IMMEDIATELY, and I'm scared I won't find one and that no one will hire me (I mean, why would they)?

I just I don't know what I'm wanting by posting this here...I just don't have anyone to talk to. My university does offer mental health counseling but it doesn't say how much it costs online (I thought once I saw somewhere where it said it was free--as part of the fees we pay....But they said the same thing about the medical services and I paid $80 for that), and I really don't have anyone to talk to other than my fiance...But I feel bad for adding to his burden because I know he worries about the finances too.

ETA: There's been more that's happened as well: My grandmother tried to commit suicide, my grandfather died, my daughter was diagnosed with ureteral reflux (though she is doing perfectly fine)...and I don't think I've really dealt with ANYTHING...I just try to push it out of my mind and ignore it....and it pops back up at the strangest times.

Hi Livivsmommy.

I know it's very hard to be a mother. back in 2001, my sister had trouble balancing work and looking after a new born baby. what happens was my mother and i ended up looking after her baby to relive the stress from my sister.

every baby is different..my newphew was the difficult to take care of the most...he would wake up in the middle of the night crying, wanting a bottle of milk, and need to rock back to sleep. then he has problems with skin rashes called ezchema.

I didn't mind waking in middle of the night to take care of him, because deep down, i know that taking care of babies is a very precious moment. babies tend to grow so fast that sometimes you wish to relive back those precious moments again.

and believe me, my newphew is now 5 and is a boy - sometimes i wish he was a baby so that i could carry him...as a boy, he doesn't allow me to carry him anymore.

by the way, how old are you? please don't be pressured with school work. having a "degree" isn't the most important thing of all, although it helps at the end.

there are lots of mature-age students now days...i didn't do too well at school so i took time off and found a job as a processworker... now i am thinking of studying part-time again.

but have you tried to combine part-time studying and working? and is it possible for another family member to take care of your child?

jobs like waitress or check-out counter... is that possible to do?

i hope everything works well..

Hi Livivsmommy.

I know it's very hard to be a mother. back in 2001, my sister had trouble balancing work and looking after a new born baby. what happens was my mother and i ended up looking after her baby to relive the stress from my sister.

every baby is different..my newphew was the difficult to take care of the most...he would wake up in the middle of the night crying, wanting a bottle of milk, and need to rock back to sleep. then he has problems with skin rashes called ezchema.

I didn't mind waking in middle of the night to take care of him, because deep down, i know that taking care of babies is a very precious moment. babies tend to grow so fast that sometimes you wish to relive back those precious moments again.

and believe me, my newphew is now 5 and is a boy - sometimes i wish he was a baby so that i could carry him...as a boy, he doesn't allow me to carry him anymore.

by the way, how old are you? please don't be pressured with school work. having a "degree" isn't the most important thing of all, although it helps at the end.

there are lots of mature-age students now days...i didn't do too well at school so i took time off and found a job as a processworker... now i am thinking of studying part-time again.

but have you tried to combine part-time studying and working? and is it possible for another family member to take care of your child?

jobs like waitress or check-out counter... is that possible to do?

i hope everything works well..


Thanks, I'm 22 and trying to finish up college. When I'd gotten pregnant I was actually on target to graduate within a year (a year early)...Now if I can make it through this semester I would graduate a year late.

I did try the part-time work-study jobs when DD was 3 months old...I quit when she was about 6 months because it was just too hard. I didn't trust the daycare person (they kept going against our wishes and started giving her juice BOXES and foods when she was 4 months old and we hadn't started introducing solids yet because DD was breastfed). I don't really have family here that can help me. My immediate family lives 4.5 hours away...I do have some cousins here but they all work a lot so that's not an option....Basically it's just my fiance and myself.

USUALLY DD is very easy-going and independent (can be a blessing or a boon) but there are times she gets really clingy and needy (like when she's not feeling great).