Several years before I hurt my back, it was my husband that was in constant pain, so I know how it feels to watch the person you love suffer. It's hard to accept that you can't fix their pain. The thing that we found was most helpful was to let him talk when HE wanted to and to let him not talk when HE wanted to not talk. Men deal with their emotions differently than we women do and once I left him alone about it he would open up more. I made sure to check in often and ask if there was something more I could be doing for him or how he was doing, but left the big talks to his time frame.

It was also important to find the balance between care giver and wife. It's also hard for men to accept help, so I had to make sure he knew I still thought of him as my husband, not my patient.

Hope this helps out a little. The very best advice I can give you is to remind him how much you love him, that he's still the same person on the inside and that's who you married.