I know u may think how much of a freak I am....coz I do...but anyway...I am here to vent.

A while ago I took a load of caffeine pills every day. I took at least 14 or something and stopped. I have started taking them again coz I don't like to feel normal...sorry...I shall try to explain that a little better....when u r drunk you don't feel 'all there'...u feel light-headed and will say anything coz of this 'not quite with it' feeling.

Has anybody else ever done this or am I the only one?X

P.S Tricky...I wanted to ask you a question... do you think you are fully recovered from your EDs and how long exactly has it taken you?

caffine pills aren't safe to take hon-especially that many of them-they can be as addiciting as our ED's are and I think for some of them they go hand in hand with the ED. Em are you getting help? I pray so hon.
Take care and lots of positive energy flowing your way,
God Bless.

Hey!! Thanx for your reply..

Help? Err...no....I do go to counsellin' if that's what you mean. How do you mean they go 'hand in hand with EDs'...in what way?!

Take care!

Loads of love
CarolineX

Hmm-now I have to think-how do they go hand in hand--okay, bare with me and I will try to explain this the best I can-ED's, for some, are about hurting one self more than anyone else can hurt that person(my theory is I would rather hurt me than have someone else hurt me-). And caffine pills are not safe so you are in fact hurting yourself when you are taking them, just like you are hurting yourself when you do ED type things. Also caffine pills, I think, can make you lose weight and I know that's the whole point of an ED, or at least it seems to be the point, for there are a lot more important points that I think people have that I don't care to discuss right now, and that's antoher reason why some people take them. I feel as if I'm rambling on so I'm gonna stop for now. Thanks for listening to me though.
God Bless.

Hey Caroline!
To answer your question, I think I'm about as recovered as a person can get. Perhaps there are some people out there who have recovered and have never been tempted to diet or purge, but I haven't met anyone who can honestly say they "never" think about it even after recovering. I still think about dieting now and then (very rarely), but I do not act on it, and more importantly, I can push the thought out of my head pretty quickly and not obsess over it. I've been "recovered" for over 4 years. The first year was hard -- really hard. My weight went up and down a bit (never by more than 5 or 6 lbs though) and I was constantly worried about "getting fat". I was moody, irritable, etc. I just kind of kept going. Through relapses and harder times I just decided that I wanted to be normal and not waste so much time and energy counting calories and picking up my hair off the bathroom floor.

I noticed that it was easier to "recover" as I started getting other things in my life in order. I got a great job, organized my finances, bought a house with the most wonderful man in the world, and just felt generally more in control of things. If you really make up your mind to kick an ED it's totally possible. I think that very often people make a half-hearted attempt to get better, don't try very hard and then get distressed b/c they think they failed. If you weren't really trying then you never really failed. It has to start with a decision to try.

[This message has been edited by Tricky (edited 02-16-2002).]