ok, this whole message board stuff is new for me. i was just trying to look up info to a biology class assignment, and somehow i found mysels here, reading all these messages. i don't know where i am going with this. i had an ED about three years ago, and i guess my question is do you ever stop thinking that way, do you ever stop having a secret desire to go back to that time? i mean, i love my life and everything in it and wouldn't want to lose it, but it's like there is always this part of me that would just love to be sick again, to not have to worry about anything except this one thing i could control. so does that feeling ever go away?

I've had an ED for about 10 years this Easter, and I have been stable for about 2 years, and yes I still think about it.

I don't think you can ever be totally "cured" of an ED. You can control it and learn from it, but never forget it or how it feels. The most important thing you can do is learn from it and understand that you control your life...it doesn't. And when you get the urge to go back to the way you used to feel (happy, in control) you need to remember just how miserable you ACTUALLY were! And you were obviously miserable or you won't have wanted to recover from it. Eating Disorders are horrible ugly things and like someone said on this board.." I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy". But they can also help you become a stronger person. So I guess what I'm trying to say is...don't slip back into it...you are stronger than that...be healthy and that is what will make you truly happy! Take care.

Love, Jen

Well....ask yourself that. DO you still think about it etc? Have u asked yourself that?
Sorry...I am just wondering....

I hate doing assignments for school on these topics. I feel completely embarrassed for some reason mentioning any of the eating disorders. Not coz I am ashaed of saying them...it just touches a sensitive spot in me, even though I am resilient to admit I have or have ever had one!!! XXXXX
Good luck anyway in receiving the feed back that u need.x