Hi everyone,

Today is day 5 of not bingeing for me. I'm still struggling to find a good balance between not letting my eating get out of control and being too restrictive. I thought I'd feel a lot of relief from not bingeing, but instead, I am absolutely OBSESSED with controling what I eat. How do I reconcile this? I don't want to fall back into an anorexic/restrictive pattern, but it's hard for me to not monitor EXACTLY what I'm eating. Has anyone else had this problem?

Yes, I know what you mean. Monitering the food brings some safety into it. For now you can monitor, just try to keep the calories at a healthy level. Notice how that feels and what you feel like before and after you eat. You'll get used to what the right amount feels like better and then you can try eating one meal or snack a day without monitoring except for hunger, then you can increase that to two, etc. I would have to say that monitoring isn't necessarily bad as long as you arn't restricting or binging. It may make you feel more safe to expand your food choices, too, if you write down what you eat. I know that for me I have about 10 foods that I eat and that's it. Sometimes I'm willing to try something new as long as I know that I still ate a reasonable amount of calories that day. You can do this! I'm SOO proud of you for going 5 days! Things might not get easier for a time. Just take it one day and one meal at a time. Don't worry about how you'll manage to not binge tomorrow or for a long time. Just think about today. And again, GOOD JOB!!!! (This is how I feel for you -> http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bouncing.gif)

pj-I really feel where you're coming from. I wish I could say that I've gone 5 days (YAY for you!!) but it's SO hard. So just keep trying. I'm really proud of you for taking an enormous step towards recovery. This board is a great way to get help.. I never knew it existed, but now I see so many struggling just like me--and like you. Know that we are here for you and support your recovery!

PJ I am also so proud of you; even as I type this I fear what you are feeling but reading these responses. I know for me when I start doing really well with my ED issues it feel like I am failing in some way and i get really hard on myself. PJ I pray this isn't the same for you and I pray that through this board we will all be able to help one another.

Cloudy it's so nice to see you posting more and more. I really have missed you.

Concerend I am glad that you found this board and am waiting to here more from you. I also pray that it is helpful.

God Bless.