I posted this at the bottom of someone elses message and I think I was suppose to start a new topic, I'm not sure so I'm re-doing it. I've never written here before but I was wondering if anybody had any helpful tips for my situaiton. I'm 25 and 5'5 and have just gained enough weight to be 95lb the lowest I was was 87lbs. I know that I have to eat more to be healthy,feel better less tired, and to help my marriage as it's causing a lot of tension. Even though I know this, and my husband thinks I'm trying, I'm not. I want to physically and mentally feel better, but I want to do this without gaining any weight. I think I look fine the way I am, so when my doctor tells me he wants me to be 115lb I think that's 20lbs! That will be really noticable. Does anyone have any tips to get past the stage where you know you should try and get better but you don't want to?

I was kind of in the same situation as you. I was at least twenty pounds underweight. I am also a college athlete so I know I needed to gain weight to be able to compete at a college level. The thought of putting on that much weight scared me to death! I thought I would be fat! Well, I am twenty pounds STRONGER now and I am running fantastic! I feel good, look good and have put on some good muscle! I hope you can see past the stupid anorexic view we all seem to have and realize how happy you'll be and how good you'll feel!

it would be so great if there was some magical words that somebody could say to make it click in the head that an ED is so not worth what you have to give up for it. unfortunately there's not, it's something that you have to feel for yourself. and i am not one to give advice, but maybe one way to look at it is to see what a bad deal you are getting: with the eating disorder you get a false sense of control, a dark feeling that hardly ever goes away, perhaps a fleeting moment of vain "happiness" if the scale drops a pound. in return for all that the ED is "giving" you, you give up everything, any chance to lead a normal life (i mean can you even go out to lunch with a friend without the ED getting in the way?). you risk damaging relationships with friends and family, your damaging your health (mentally and physically). the way i see it is like the ED is a security blanket, an escape from having to deal with reality and whatever is so scary about it that you can't face. all you have to deal with is this one problem that you convince yourself you have control over. the reality is that YOU DONT. and the longer you wait to deal with it, the harder it will be to let go, the greater the damage will be. you're missing out on living.

I totally agree with running queen! You don't have to gain 20 pounds of fat, you can gain more muscle. You'll feel so much better, and it's a very nice to be stronger http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Good luck!

Thanks for your support and helpful words. My weekend was not to good but today I have a Dr's appointment after work and he is going to weigh me so I'm going to have to start trying harder. It's just that when I do eat I feel so guilty.