My Boyfriend has told me he has a heart murmur, and that he has been to see his doctor who told him he needs to stop doing so much and take it easy. Does this sound like a likley diagnosis?? i have been looking on the internet for Prevention methods/treatments ect for Heart Murmurs and i have found no where saying that 'rest' is a prevention method. He is not on any kind of medication or anyhting that i know of but he said the murmur is off the chart - surely if it was bad somethig would be done about it. It all seems a bit strange, im worried he is hiding something from me!! please help if you know anything about heart murmurs! Thank you :dizzy:

The "worry" is does he have cardiomyopathy or worse.

I have never heard of either "rest" for a murmur, or anything like rating it "off the chart."

Ask him to come clean with you. It may be al perfectly above board but I agree with your puzzlement.

Can he run a couple blocks without looking like a train wreck?

Hi Lenin,

Thank you for your reply.

He is not out of shape at all, he works out and he is a mechanic so he does do a manual job every day.... what would be the usual advice from a doctor if you have a heart murmur? i got the impression from sites i have been looking at that it is a fairly common and mostly dormant thing...?

Usually they'll listen to it and order an echogram to find out which valve is malfunctioning. Perhaps an ejection fraction will be measured to determine how much blood is flowing "the right way."

But you are right, there is normally no intervention unless the valve is REALLY wonky. And for most people there is no order to "rest."

What exactly did he say the Dr's orders were?

Was it that he could work his regular job, but needed to rest when at home?

Was it that he needed to find a less physical line of work?

What about his working out?

It may be that he did not understand what the Dr was saying or can't explain what is going on in a clear fashion... are you sure he said murmur and meant murmur, or could it be PVC's?

In any event, if it was incapacitating and requiring rest they would probably be doing further testing with a holt monitor, echo, angio and a slew of other testing.

Hello Penybobeny,

He told me he had a heart murmur a while back - then one day a few months ago he came round and said he had woken up and couldnt catch his breath so he went to the doctors said they had done some tests (he couldnt remebr their names) and that he was getting results in a few weeks, for now the doc had said to change diet, eat more healthily (he isnt overweight, but eats a lot of rubbish) and not do so much - he was doing private jobs al the time so working 10-11 hours a day and doing a lot of housework and looking after his mum who isnt well. Anyway, a few weeks later he went back for his results, i said id go with him but he didnt want me to, then all he said was that the doctor said his results were ok but the same advice applied, only he didnt stop doing anything or change his eating at all even tho i kept telling him too. now he tells me that hes been to see his doc again and that 'he is doing too much still as his heart murmur (these were his (not doc) exact words) is off the chart' which just dosent seem true i think he is lying about it but i dont know why.

Hi there, Joanner...

From the sounds of it, he is burning the wick at both ends and his doctor might have told him the following (now that you said he woke with breathing problems)

"You are under alot of stress and have a heart murmur, you need to cut back on the stress and try to take it easy..."

Stress can make his blood pressure go up and cause all kinds of discomfort and he might have been told to "take it easy" and "try to cut back a bit" so that he does not develope any problems.

He may have very well had an angina attack, anxiety attack, acid reflux... the list goes on and on.

Right now my advice would be to just be supportive, it sounds like he needs a bit of a breather and to relax and try to do something for himself, so suprise him with a relaxing evening... or the next day he is not working let him sleep in and veg.

Things make alot more sense now... he is working long days at work and taking on other projects, helping his mother out, doing chores and housework... when does he have time to unwind?

I know that you are concerned, but it may be coming across as nagging so for a little bit stop watching his diet and let him know by showing him, not by telling him you are going to, but showing him that you understand by trying to help him relax.

Good Luck

The difficult thing is, he is so stubborn that he wont let anyone help him, he insists on doing all the housework and decorating by himself and wont accept help.

Ive tried to give him a relaxing evening a few times but he dosent seem to want it, when im cooking the dinenr he just keeps asking how he can help.

I've even given him space and not asked to see him that much just let him see me when he wants to but nothing has changed...

I get the feeling that he is using it as an excuse to distance himself from me.

My heart murmur was first noticed 30 years ago when I was in my 20's. I remember the doctor immediately sending me for various tests because no murmur had been heard before that point and he wanted to find out what was going on. The main thing is for your boyfriend to find out what is causing the murmur, especially if it is new.

Hi Everyone,

Thank you all for your help - i found out the truth yesterday, the whole thing was just an excuse! he does have a heart murmur but the doctor hadnt told him to calm it down it was just a way to get me to back off as he had to spend mroe time with his otehr girlfriend - yep he had made me 'the other woman' without me knowing, and had been cheating on us both for 6 months!! :mad: evil huh??

Thanks again for your help!!!

:dizzy:

OWWW,

Make him "murmur" really hard!:jester: