I'm feeling fat and horrible. I want to get better, buyt when I try to eat and be positive I feel like ****. I did lots yesterday, and now I'm feelng hungry, so I'm feeling bad cos I've been eating. I feel like I want to make myself sick, or go out and smash my fist into a wall. I know no body can help me, but I wish someone could. My counsellor is on holiday and I don't see her till August 13th. Too long.
please help me if you can...
Jay
Sponsor
catgirl
07-25-2002, 08:11 PM
JJay
did your counselor give you exercises to practice when you get to feeling this way?
Remember, hon, when your body is saying it's hungry, it's telling you that for a reason. Your mind as far as feeling fat is off kilter. I'm quite sure your not fat.
Tell that mind of your's when it start's telling you that you are fat, that it isn't true, you know better. Basically, it is a battle of wills, determination vs. the ED mind. Your determination needs to take over and you need to say statements to yourself like
"If I don't eat I will not be healthy, possibly die"
"Mind your lying to me again, I'm very skinny and I know I need to gain just a few pounds, not much, just a few"
This 1 always worked for me.
"What I'm eating does not have very many calories in it, thus with all of my activity, the food will pass right through without a weight gain".
Remember, JJay, we want you around for a very long time.
Exert that tremendous will of yours. You need your strenght for your babies. If not for you, your kids. You can do it, I have every confidence in you.
Jay, I have confidence in you too. This is terribly hard - but you CAN do it. I think Catgirl is right on in her reply about a battle of wills. You know my belief that God can also be a source of strength to you in that battle. August 13th is a long way away - but it will pass quicker than you realize. Great step in posting and starting your new support thread. We'll be here and do what we can to encourage you. Did you get yourself any books yet? Try Catgirl's statements. Read them to yourself if you have to. Also quote to yourself "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." My grandma used to make paper banners that she would laminate with scriptures and she hung them in every room of her house. I didn't understand that until recently. I don't remember if you journal. Try that if you are inclined to express yourself in writing or poems. Thats all I can think of right now but I'll be back checking on you every day that I possibly can between now and August 13. Love, Mel
youneeak
07-25-2002, 08:58 PM
JJay, we are here to support you. If you can't believe in yourself right now, we will believe in you for you. Try the exercises that Mel and Cat suggested, and is there anybody else you can see while your counseler is away? Like a replacement you can talk to? You are STRONGER THAN THIS. I believe in you!
I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling so down for so long... I really hope that things will get easier for you very soon.
My counsellor was on a long holiday too, and I couldn’t go and see her either. She’s back now, but before that, I was LITERALLY losing it. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t keep down the little food that I did manage to eat, and I could barely concentrate on anything as I was just so, so depressed. I know how it feels, JJay... and you know what I did? I called the Mental Health Services and spoke to my old counsellor. It was the best decision I could have made. Some people may think that’s just a small thing to do, but others will realise that it really was the best thing that I could have done. It helped me so much, and now, I think that that’s maybe what you should be doing too.
If you can’t talk to another counsellor (which I would assume that you could), how about one of those lifeline numbers? I’ve though about that before, although I’ve never done it. You never know though how much it might actually help you until you try it.
I just don’t want you to do anything to hurt yourself, JJay... if you really feel hopeless and miserable, then PLEASE go and speak to somebody... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif
Love,
Ashlee
catgirl
07-26-2002, 04:36 PM
JJay,
How you doing today? I saw your post on the depression board, says your doing better. Good. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Give me the details, I'm interested. Especially, if youv'e fallen out of any more of the tree's, LOL. Cat
JJay
07-27-2002, 05:01 PM
No Cat, no more trees! That was funny! I just remember Hattie saying, 'is mummy dead?' She should know I'm made of tougher stuff than that. Molly is desperate to have a big water pistol, and hubby seems to want a MASSIVE water gun. He booked us a last minute holiday yesterday, so I think I might get everyone one as a going on holiday present!
We are going on Saturday next week, (3rd?) and will be away for a week, (over my birthday!) I cant wait. We are only going to Norfolk (England, of course) which is only a couple of hours drive from us. The kids all get travel sick, so its easier to not go too far. As you can see I'm feeling much more positive.
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif Love Jay xxxxxxxxx
melody
07-27-2002, 11:14 PM
Jay, so glad you're feeling more positive. A holiday sounds wonderful.
(((((((((((((((( http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif Jay http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif )))))))))))))))
[This message has been edited by melody (edited 07-27-2002).]
[This message has been edited by melody (edited 07-27-2002).]
catgirl
07-28-2002, 10:58 AM
JJay,
That sounds like so much Fun http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif Wish I could join you. I've never been to England & have always wanted to go. Plus,I love water pistol fights.
So glad you are doing better. Yipee http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif
Enjoy yourself while on holiday. You deserve it. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif Cat
youneeak
07-28-2002, 07:06 PM
JJay--
You do sound much more positive today!!! Your post made me smile! I'm soooo glad for you http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif You deserve to be happy and healthy, not just for you, but for that hubby and those kids of yours! You're stronger than your ED, and you have a wonderful "ED-free" life just waiting for you, you're on your way, I just know it! I'm really really glad to see you're feeling good today! I'm so happy for you!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bouncing.gif
