Check in with me if you can! No matter what decision you make, I still want to hear from you! Are you around tonight? Contact me if you can!

I've been thinking of you all day!

Renee

Hey Renee,

I'm here! Thanks for your sweet post. I haven't had any pills, yesterday or today. But I am fiending for them like I never have before. I'm ashamed at how obsessed I feel about them right now. I really feel like I'm gonna cave. If there was a way to get some right now, I'd be taking them. I hate posting this, because I feel like such a failure. But I'm super overwhelmed right now. My daughter's sick, I'm having a halloween party this weekend, my house is a wreck, I've got all of my halloween and christmas (don't ask me why the x-mas except it was all mixed together!) stuff out of my attic and piling up the house, things are just INSANE and I've been jonesing like a crack addict for hydrocodone. I guess b/c the 3 pills I found friday night were in such random places, I've felt possessed searching for more. I found one in a sock drawer, another behind some books on a bookshelf, etc. so tonight, I looked in the rest of the crazy random places they could be. I felt like such a pathetic loser, but driven like a madwoman to have just one pill. :-(
I'm sorry, I don't know how much support I can give anyone right now. I am a complete mess. I'm trying really hard to be strong and to not think about them but I don't feel like I'm winning the battle.

How are things going for you?

Debbie

hey toughtime,
just reading over some stories here and really scared too..I have been wanting to stop taking loritabs for about 2 years and want to stop and need help too..I don't want to wake up tomorrow and pop one. Maybe we can help each other...I know that I can do it, I'm just really scared of the w/d's. Be strong and I'm here if you need to talk..I'm up and trying to prepare myself for in the morning...bye

You have nothing to be ashamed about,I'm proud that you are on day 2-3.This is not an easy thing to go through and yes you get desperate but that's because we are addicts and the sickness is very powerful.Try and hang in there another day or two and you will turn the corner and begin to feel alot better.Hang in there.....Dave:)

Debbie-How are things? I can imagine how you must feel-something big comming up and you need your "friend". Mommy's helper it seems. I was doing fine all today, but I was out and about. When I'm home, I think of it. I feel ashamed. I called my doctor who treats my headaches and told him my headache was so bad tonight I need something for pain. I think God was taking care of me because the nurse called back and said he's not there anymore today and I'd have to wait until tommorow. I'm hoping that passes by then. This only happens when I'm home. My own kids running around drive me crazy, and now I've got 2 more I'm watching, so I could really use those pills.

The stupid thing is I don't even get high from them anymore. Hardley ever. And haven't in a long, long time. IF I ever happen to feel a slight euphoria, it literally only lasts 30 seconds to a minute. But now the anxiety is creeping up and I HATE valium and I just want a Norco to take the anxiety away.

I feel good now. I feel lighter, more alert and not sweaty! Ha! I swear, all Hydro did was make me a fat blob. I've gained probably 30 lbs while on it, it always made me sweat and made me crave food and want to just sit there eating pills like candy. I feel the bloating is gone and I actually bought healthy stuff at the grocery store today. Tommorow will be a different story, I'll be back to staying home all day, bored, thinking about the pills. I get lonely. I was out all day helping volunteer at both my kids' schools and felt great. So it's a mental game now.

Can you contact me? Let me know what's going on? I'm thinking of you.

Renee

Hey Debbie! Can you get in touch with me? I have a quick question for you!

Renee

Hey Renee,

How's it going? I only came on this board to check on you and see how you are doing. I caved. :-(

How are you doing?

Deb

Hang in there I see your on so thats good.....KIm

ru there let me know

alright you relapsed welcome to the life of recovery I wish I knew if you were there or not!!!!

Hey Kim,

I'm here, I just feel guilty and ashamed... and like a failure. I gave in to my urges and called in a refill. I gave some of my pills away, and I'm not going to take them for long, but I just couldn't take the cravings.... I have so much stress going on in my life right now, and I guess I'm just weak. I am determined not to let myself go back into full blown addiction, so I'm trying to be careful. I know that's addiction talking, telling myself I can control it. I guess I really need to look into the suboxone again, because I can't seem to stop these on my own. :-(

How are you? How are you also Renee?

Debbie

Did you understand my last post

Hi Kim,

That relapsing is part of recovery? Or am I there yet as in a relapse or in recovery? nope, I'm sorry, I don't really understand your last post.
Try again? :-)

Deb

did u get it that time :D