Hi everyone! I'm new to these boards. I recently became anorexic and am looking for some support and help. My parents have thought that I'm anorexic for...years. At those times I was not, but I am now, but deny any fact to them. A couple of my close friends know, but have promised me that they won't tell anyone until I give them the go ahead to. I'm scared of what may happen to me, but even though I'm new in the whole thing, I can't help but weigh myself all the time and not eat much...

Hey there! Welcome to HealthBoards! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

I know that coming out into the open about your eating disorder is one of the most difficult steps that one must make in order for them to begin recovery. You’ve already told a few friends, and that’s great that you were able to talk to them about it. The next step – as you well know – is to find yourself some professional help. Please, PLEASE try to talk to your parents about this; it’s far too dangerous to keep a secret. If you honestly can’t bring yourself to talk to them, then go and find someone else you trust.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been anorexic for three months or three years – the time isn’t the issue here. The thing is, you have a serious problem that WILL get the better of you if you don’t do something to stop it.

I do hope that you will get the help that you need and deserve very soon. It’s so important... and you’ll be so happy you made the decision when you look back years from now.

Take care,
Ashlee

Hi Sing http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

Listen to Ashlee, she is a wealth of information and always right !!! She got that from me, hehehehehe http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

I understand your pain and your fear. As you probably know this ED affects your mind. You need to fight this demon in your mind.

Quit weighing yourself for #1. Then you have to start telling your mind the opposite of what it says when your mind says you are fat, you shouldn't have eaten this, I've gained weight, etc.

It's hard I know, but I know that everyone single person afflicted with this disease has the power to overcome it. If we are strong enough to control our food intake, then we are stong eneough to fight the ED demon.

Post here often & we will help as much as we can. Good Luck Cat http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Thank you for the warm welcome! I hope that posting here and hearing the stories of others will give me the confidence to go to someone for help, so that I can get better. But as I have read from other posts I have found myself to be very similar to some others here. I, too, am afraid that going to someone for 'help' will make me 'fat.' And that is what I am trying to get away from. I'm sick of being 'fat'. I eat as little as possible, and basically will only eat when my parents are around, so that they don't think there is something wrong with me. Thanks for the support you've shown me so far!
--Katie

Sing,

I can assure you without a doubt that you will never get fat. Do you know of any anorexic/bulemic that has ever been fat, even after they have conquered this disease?

I think not. So please, go to a counselor and get the help you need in order to fight this demon. We can help you somewhat here, but it is very difficult to advise and help without face to face interaction and just think of all those pages of typing, LOL.

We will help as much as we can. That is one reason I am here. I followed JJay and Ashless over from the depression board to help them. I am a former anorexic, now well, and I know full well what you gals are dealing with, so I want to help all of you in any manner I can.

Believe me, you can get well and not get fat!!! I'm not http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif Cat http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Welcome singingsmiles! Since I'm "melody", you and I should get together and sing a tune or two. You've come to a good place to learn about your ED from those who are going through the same thing. My thing is mostly depression - but a lot of the same things apply. My mind tells me lies and I have to fight them too. Please start reading all about anorexia. Try to stop this now before it's too late because you've got a fatal disease. Catgirl can tell you the statistics of what percent DIE. Your danger is not of getting fat, but of dying very young. Or living with life long illness because you've damaged your organs before you realized what was happening. I know that sounds harsh - but if this is a new thing with you - you've probably got a good chance of stopping it before you've done any real damage. And it seems like it will get harder and harder to turn it around the longer you go with the problem. Please, please get some books and start reading. Talk to someone and get some support (along with us) that can help you fight this thing before it takes too hard of a hold on your entire life. Please forgive me if I was too forceful - but it's only because I care. Mel P.S. Glad you're here and hope it helps. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Hi sing and welcome!!

I"m soooooo glad you posted!!! You will find that htis board is an amazing place for love and support. The people on here are wonderful, and full of stories and facts and information and support!! You'll grow to love them as I do, I'm sure.

As for getting help, you deserve it. Just remember that! And while you're struggling, we're always gonna be here to help you get back on your feet and offer you the support and listening ear you need, I promise! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Just wanted to say welcome, you'll see that I"m addicted to posting on these boards...lol http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/tongue.gif

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~

Thank you all for the love and support that you have shown me, in just a day! I'm so scared and I wish it were easy enough for me to stop. Two of my best friends, are out of town, with no way of contact, and then, the others that know about my ED don't live in my town. And even they are trying to make sure I get better, but it's easier said then done. Once I get an idea in my head, then it is like there is no turning back, I go with it, sad to say. I just wish it were easy enough to tell someone, or to go to my parents so that i can get help. But, I don't talk to my parents, they are very judgemental, and scary to talk to when it comes to serious things. I'm afraid that they'll lose all trust in me, if they knew, or that they'd be on my back all the time, more then they are now. It's scary, and I'm not strong enough...

Sing,
Hi! I'm Jen and am also new here. I can really relate to you about telling your parents. I am also terrified of telling my parents about my 'issues'. My parents and I are just not close enough to know how to deal with that. I think it's great that you have told some of your friends about your ed. Maybe in time they will provide you with the support you need to tell your parents or someone like a counselor. I know you don't think that you are strong enough to tell anyone else but you have shown that you are very strong by admitting you have a problem and by coming to this board for support. You are taking the very important first steps to overcoming this disease and you definitly need to congratulate yourself on that! I hope you feel better soon!
~Jen~

Hiya! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

This is for SingingSmiles and for anyone else that is afraid that by getting help they will make you ‘fat’.

I used to be so afraid of that too... I hid this for years because I thought that if I got help for something that was making my life so miserable, it would mean that I would get fat.

I can honestly say, it’s not like that. I have been in counselling for a couple of months now, and I haven’t gained a pound... quite the contrary actually. I’m not that’s a good thing or anything... I know in reality losing the weight is NOT a good thing... but I am somewhat relieved that even though I am in counselling, they haven’t been forcing me to gain weight.

You see, the counsellors are aware that people suffering from eating disorders are very much into wanting to be in control of everything. They’re not stupid, and they know that by forcing us to gain weight we will only feel that we have completely lost control over everything, which will deepen the depression and aggravate the eating disorder.

“Getting help” doesn’t mean necessarily that you are going to put on weight. Instead, it means that you and your counsellor are going to work together and work through the reasons WHY you do this to yourself. Once you’ve begun with that, you will find the strength, courage and wisdom to decide that you really don’t need to lose anymore weight – and then it’ll be YOU that decides it all!

So, please don’t be afraid to go and seek help for this reason anymore... because I assure you, they won’t do anything like go and tell your mother to watch exactly what you eat, etc. They leave everything like that up to you to tell your family about, and mostly, you just talk. Often the talking has nothing to do with food and weight either!

Hope this helps!

Ash

Very well said and so true Ashlee. Everyone, follow Ashlee's advice. It is too your benefit http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif Cat

Thank you all for the advice, and I will have to take that step to recovery. But, I'm still too scared, and I'm not strong enough to tell them that, yet. I'm glad to know that I have the love and support from everyone here to help me get where I need to be in order to get better, but, as of now, I'm just not ready. I hate to say it, but, I'm not... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

Hi sing,
it's ok that you're not ready as of yet to tell anybody about yoru ED, or to seek serious help. My friends get frustrated when I tell them I'm not ready either...and here's what I say to them. I tell them that I am taking baby-steps...and that's all I can manage right now. I'm in the process of recovery, even if they don't see it that way. And taking babysteps that WORK is way better than taking HUGE LEAPS that fail! KEEP IT UP, you're doing great! Everyday that you tell yourself you're going to get better is a good day, is a step in the right direction!!

As for your fear of getting fat...I don't know if this makes any sense, but what Ashlee said is true...nobody is going to FORCE you to get fat, however, my fear is that if I stop purging my BODY will make me get fat. Either way I have talked to a few people recently who have told and shown me that this is not true. Once your body readjusts to having a metabo again you will go back down to your "normal" weight. I just have to keep reminding myself of this, because somedays the only reason I purge is because I'm afraid stopping means that I will get fat. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~

Aw, Sarah, I've never purged, I've been close before, and I'm scared that I'll start and then not be able to stop...But, baby steps are a good idea! I'm going to have to use that! Because baby steps to my friends may mean getting help from a counsler, but to me that's a leap! So, I'll start slowly! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif
--katie