Today was DEFINETLY NOT a good day! We start 2-a-days tomorrow for volleyball..and I had to go get a physical. My mom went with me..and you know, they do the routine checks, height, WEIGHT, vision, etc.. Well when the Doctor checked my weight, he stared to shake his head. Then he said he wanted to do a body fat % and then he told me that at 5'11 it should be somewhere around 30-45...and mine was only 22. He then gave me a "lecture" about my eating habits...ALL IN FRONT OF MY MOM. (keep in mind, she knows nothing about my ED) Then, when we got home..she told me entire family the story and then they LITERALLY FORCED me to eat and ENTIRE meal. I thought I was gonna die. I did it, so they wouldn't get too suspicious...once they were "convinced" that I was okay..and "just naturally skinny"..they let me go do my own thing. Once I left the table, I went directly upstairs and "purged" for the FIRST TIME. I just "knew" that if I didn't right then..I would get fat IMMEDIETLY. They said that they are going to continue "keeping track" on my eating habits for a while. I just KNOW that if they keep doing it, I'm going to become bulmic. I CAN'T eat that much at once! I just CAN'T!!!! Someone PLEASE, HELP!! Always, Kat

Kathryn, I hope that someone with more experience comes along soon to reply - but I wanted you to know that I care. Please do not add bulimia to your anorexia. I have a pre-cancerous condition in my esophagus from excessive stomach acid refluxing up into the esophagus. Making yourself throw up - and having all that extra stomach acid contact with your esophagus just can't be good. People have posted here about their teeth rotting from the acid. Nothing pretty about bulimia. Why not just go ahead and tell your mom about the anorexia - and that making you eat too much at once is just going to add another problem. Ask her to let you start therapy and work on it that way - rather than forcing you to eat more than you're ready for - and then throwing it up. Please don't make throwing up a habit. Keep us posted. Mel

Oh, Kat! I'm so sorry! That sounds like a bad day! I hope that things get better for you! It sounds really hard for you! I have never purged, but I've gotten very close! So, I so understand the things that go through your mind. My parents and I went out for Chinese tonight! They really keep their eye on my b/c they think that I'm on a diet, and i keep denying it! But, it's gotten to the point that they ask me everyday! I hope that they lay off you a bit! To me, it seems like when they are on your back about things, you feel worse! It's hard! Hang in there! And let us know how things go!


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--katie--

Kat~
I am so sorry about your physical! It sounds like everyone is very worried about you and that is probably why your family is making you eat. You might want to consider telling your family about your problem. Like Mel said, maybe if they knew about it they wouldn't force you to eat whole meals since you aren't ready for that. Regardless of if you tell them or not I really hope you will not make yourself throw up again! It might seem like an easy solution now, but I know (from my own experience) that it turns into a horrible cycle that will soon be out of control. Please be careful Kat, not only for your family but do it for yourself. You deserve to feel better than this! I hope you are feeling better soon, let us know how you're doing!
~Jen~

Oh Kat http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif I am sooooo incredibly sorry that you had a rough day, and that you purged for the first time. What an incredibly awful and trying experience.

But what the other say is right, anorexia is dangerous (as you know) please don't add bulimia to the list. You'll become even more obsessed with food, and bulimia is even harder to hide. (especially when paired with anorexia, because you'll be losing excessive amounts of weight and trying to cover up the reasons why you HAVE to go to the bathroom after you eat...)

I hope that today was better. You're not alone, keep that in mind! We care about you here, we want you to get help, we want you to feel better!! You're a wonderful person who deserves help, I hope that you find it http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~