I want to tell you all thank you.
I am in a new phase now. I thought the shock was gone. I have not cleaned out my dads room yet and i need too. It came to me a couple days ago that for some reason my crazy mind thinks he is not gone. I told myself i need to get this done but then i sat down and thought to myself that its so hard to do. I know everyone does it eventually. But am i nuts to be feeling this way?
My younger sister just finished he extern and she got hired she is so happy. She almost called my dad till she relized she couldnt. It made me sad for her. I know my father would have taken her out for dinner......so i am tomorrow. For some reason its so hard looking at the things my dad has left behind. Its a constant reminder and i want it gone and yet i dont have the heart. I will keep some things. Its so unbelievable how a person can go through so much pain. I dont understand why we must go through this process. I seem to be questioning things that i cant even explain. To say the word dad seems so unfair that i will never be able to say them again. Yesterday would have been his 61st birthday. We had cake and i bought some ballons me and my kids let them go. Some lady was staring at us from the window she must of thought we were crazy or something. Since i live by seattle you should know what the weather is like. Anyways i like that they have a site like this and being able to read other peoples post. It truely helps!

Rebecca-There's so much that will happen over time as you greive-I know this because it's happening to me . After a 2 mth bout with lung cancer-my mom passed away-July11th of this year. Of all her children-I am the only one that is not married-or has any one. It's harder for me-but I have my way of dealing with it. We lost our dad about 15 years ago to the same. It was easier to get through his death-for me. But my mom is the one that was the rock of our family-she kept everyone updated to events-made sure we always got together for the heck of it... My sisters and I have been going over things in the house-packing up her things-giving away her clothing-just recently had a sale of everything in the house. the next thing will be to sell the house. There was something my mom started a long time ago-we (my sisters and her) would get together about 3x a year to celebrate our birthdays. That's what we'll be doing next week...it's 2 of my sister's this month. So we'll be getting together for a brunch-and have a bunch of girl talk-and probably chat about Mom too. We all heal in our own time/way. Drop me a note-I'm open to conversation...Cher :angel:

Rebecca, I don't know when you lost your dad. But it has been almost 8 years since my grandmother died & I still have a lot of her things. It took me a few years just to part with her clothes. DON'T rush yourself. Once it is gone, it is gone. If you can't look at the things now, then pack them up for a while. They may give you comfort in the future. Or you may come back to them & be totally ready to let them go. Don't let anyone try to tell you that there is a specific time frame for anything. You just have to deal with each day, emotion & feeling as it comes no matter how long it takes.

you don't have to do it all at once. Do what you feel up to when you feel up to it. My grama lived with us when I was a kid and when she died it took my mom a few years to clean out her room, although we did pack up most of her clothes first and donated them. It was the OTHER stuff that took time. Gram was a packrat and you couldn't just throw anything out, you had to LOOK at it all.....she also wrote a lot of letters to people, and saved everything! It's too hard to do it all at once, it's very draining and sad and like the previous poster said, once it's gone, it's gone. If you get some comfort out of it being there, leave it there for now.....there's plenty of time.
I'm sorry for your loss.
:angel:

you don't have to do it all at once. Do what you feel up to when you feel up to it. My grama lived with us when I was a kid and when she died it took my mom a few years to clean out her room, although we did pack up most of her clothes first and donated them. It was the OTHER stuff that took time. Gram was a packrat and you couldn't just throw anything out, you had to LOOK at it all.....she also wrote a lot of letters to people, and saved everything! It's too hard to do it all at once, it's very draining and sad and like the previous poster said, once it's gone, it's gone. If you get some comfort out of it being there, leave it there for now.....there's plenty of time.
I'm sorry for your loss.
:angel:
My mom was a packrat too-we found cancelled checks from the past 40 yrs! She saved everything that was sent to her also-wedding announcments/graduations-we made it a evening to go over it all...Plus she had so much in Christmas decorations-we all took what we wanted-as a memoire-and put things together for neices/nephews. It's amazing what you find! It may take time - but it's one thing to help you get through it. Cher

Hi Rebecca,

I'm going through the exact same thing. My Mom passed last month and I've only been to her house once. I know I have to clean out the house to sell it but I just can't do it. Even thinking about going over there brings me nearly to hysterics. Just typing this out is making my chest get tight and my eyes are tearing up. I just don't know how I'm going to be able to do it. There are millions of memories in that house, I grew up there, every holiday was spent there and I went there every Saturday to take her to lunch.

Why does God make us go through such pain? What is the reason? I pray every day for strength and he doesn't help. I miss my Mom so much there are no words for the pain I feel.

Just know you are not alone. Please talk whenever you need to, I will be here.

Robinbird