Thanks for asking about me! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif
I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately. I wasn't doing well at all for a while. I'm so disgusted with myself... despite losing weight I cannot be happy with the way I look. Then, the other day, I looked in the mirror and I just though, GROSS! Sometimes it just hits me that I really am not over weight, and that I DON'T need to lose weight... just like the other day I actually thought I was TOO thin! Amazing, huh? Eating disorders play so many tricks on the mind; I don't even know what to believe anymore! It's hard, but I guess seeing myself the way I did the other day is progress, right? Who knows... I'm sticking to my theory anyway! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/tongue.gif
How about you, how are you doing lately? Doing well I hope!
Take care, and let me know how you are too, okay?
Ash
youneeak
08-11-2002, 08:41 PM
OH Ashlee, i'm so sorry it's been a rough week or two for you!! I'm sending you happy thoughts, I know you can do it! Remember that you're stronger than your ED...you always remind everybody else, just wanted to make sure that you know it COUNTS for you too!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
As for me, I'm also struggling. I lie to my friends, my family, everybody...tell everyone that "I'm fine." But how can someone who cries herself to sleep EVERY NIGHT, who purges 5, 6, 7Xs a day, who can't even look in the mirror be "FINE." Somedays I feel like I'm falling and I don't know what to do. But I'll beat this, I have friends who love me, a wonderful support system, and gerat people all around in my life...so I will beat this.
And so will you girlie! I know you will!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~
[This message has been edited by youneak00 (edited 08-11-2002).]
Ashlee
08-11-2002, 09:19 PM
Hi, Sarah. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif Thanks for the support.
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling, too. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif I wish there was something I could do...
Please try to find SOMEBODY that you can talk to. You’re keeping everything to yourself, which is probably one of the worst things you could possibly do. Find someone you trust – maybe a school counsellor or a teacher – and talk to her! You’re going to make yourself more and more depressed by keeping it all inside. Believe me, I know. When my eating disorder started out, I had the occasional down day but a lot of the time I felt okay – probably because I thought I was in control or something... but sooner or later, any of those even SLIGHTLY good days go away, and you’re left feeling depressed, worthless, and feeling hopeless that things will ever be okay again. Don’t let it get that far, Sarah. There’s nothing more miserable, and I don’t want you to have to suffer like so many others already have. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif You can intervene now and begin your recovery... but you CAN’T put it off and trick yourself into thinking you’re okay all the time. Because, Sarah, having an eating disorder you DO have to work for your recovery non stop until it’s finally *gone*... it’s not going to get better by itself unfortunately. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif
I’m glad you have some good support for yourself. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif That’s great; and it’ll really help you get through this.
Please take care of yourself!
Ash
youneeak
08-13-2002, 12:49 AM
Ashlee, you're such a sweetheart.
I am taking care of myself. I'm working very hard and focusing on the good things, reminding myself that I have people who love me. I do have people to talk to, I just feel so annoying bothering them all the time. Dealing with an ED is hard enough, watchign someone has to be so frustrating. Because I KNOW my thoughts are irrational, but they're MINE...everybody else just sees the irrational side.
I hope you're getting help too, you deserve it just as much as everybody else. Sometimes it's hard to remember that YOU deserve help too!! Let us know how you're doing!!
