Need to vent for a second. Only have a second, I'm already late...me? late? so what else is new?? Falling quickly right now. Going to my cousin's birthday party, really excited, going to see my family...until about 5 minutes ago. I was all dressed, for the first time in weeks I felt comfortable in what I was wearing...and then my mom walked by and was like "what kind of shirt is that? Are you going to put somethign on over top of it...it kinda makes you look big" http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif Now I'm crying, now I don't want anybody to see me. I, of course, changed my clothes, put on baggy jeans and a t-shirt. Now she'll say I look "sloppy" but it's better than being fat. Can't stop crying. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin! I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!

sorry, had to vent, needed to post where people who understand could read it. Nobody else understands...I can't take this anymore! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

never give up
~sarah~

( ( ( ( ( ( http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif Sarah http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif ) ) ) ) ) )

Sarah, I’m so sorry about what your mum said! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif I can’t understand why people say things like that! I had someone say the exact same thing to me a couple weeks ago and I know how much it hurts!

Poor, Sarah... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif Please, PLEASE don’t take any notice of comments like that! You said YOU felt comfortable in what you were wearing – and that’s all that matters! Don’t let anyone change that or it’s like giving into the eating disorder. Stay strong!!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

I hope you managed to enjoy the birthday party in the end, anyway. You’re allowed to have fun! Don’t let a silly little comment like that change that for you.

Have you ever thought about possibly explaining to your Mum how much comments like that hurt you? If you’re absolutely certain that you can’t tell her about the eating disorder – you don’t have to do that yet. Just let her know how little you appreciate comments like the one she gave you, and how much it hurts your self confidence, and I’m sure she’ll understand.

Take care, and let us know how you’re doing now, okay? I’ve been meaning to ask how you’re going!

Ashlee http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by Ashlee (edited 08-09-2002).]

Aw, sarah! I'm sorry about your moms comment! It must have hurt! But, try to dry your tears! If you're comfortable then that's what counts! [like Ashlee said]. Don't let someone else put thoughts in your head about how you look! Having an ED puts enough thoughts in your head! I hope that the party was great! Keep your head high! You deserve the best!

------------------
--katie--

Sarah~
I am so sorry! I know exactly how you feel! My mom is the same way sometimes. Comments like that can hurt so badly, if only the people who said them realized that! We just have to remember that sometimes things don't come out like we want them to and I'm sure your mom didn't want to hurt you.

Like you always say, you are more than just a body. You are a beautiful person with a wonderful mind and personality! Remember this, and that it doesn't matter what anyone else may think about you. It only matters that you are comfortable with yourself! I hope you are feeling better after your cousins party, please be sure to let us know how you're doing soon!
~Jen~

THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE REPLIES! YOU GUYS ROCK!!

The party was ok, I tried my best to keep a positive outlook on things. But I'm feeling better today. You guys are right, it is MY opinions taht count to me!

Thanks again, you guys rock!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~

That’s great, Sarah! I’m glad you’re feeling a little better. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

You’re right, is it ONLY your opinion that counts! If you’re happy with yourself, than that’s what matters! Nothing else!

Take care,
Ashlee

PS: Sorry I haven’t been around much lately. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif I’ll try to post a little more.

*hugs to you*

I know what it's like to have your mother saying rude stuff like that. That was one of the many reasons I had started. My mom kept saying things and it finally got to me. *hugs* I didn't tell her either. Actually, I'm not sure if she knows now if I ever had that problem or not. But I am always here for you.

Summer

Hi Sarah,

I really think you should talk to your mum about this. She may be more careful if you explain to her how you feel. Could you tell her how sensitive you are about these things? I think it's worth having a chat about if you can.
My mum still does this sort of stuff with me and freaks out about my jeans being too low, saying they look ridiculous. It makes me really paranoid and I tell her and she says don't worry about what I or anyone else thinks. Good advice I think.
Mel

Thanks summer and mel and ashlee! You guys are wonderful!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

~sarah~

Ohh Sarah!! I totally feel for you....its like a scene outta my life. I know the struggle and i know what its like to experience that everyday. I hate it too....and i dont have a whole lotta advice. I just wanted you to know that i am right there with you, and i know how much it sucks!! My dad didnt know i had an ED and one night we went to eat and i was complaining about how much i had eating that day.....and he joked about me going home and sticking my finger down my throat. He thought he had made a funny joke, but he actually just made me want to get home and run to the bathroom. I am so sorry anyone has to experience stuff like this.

That's the last thing she should of said, You would of never said it to her would you? Tell her that...huh?

Next time she says something like that, just counter her with, well then take me shopping for something that fits better..that we both can agree on...

See what she says to that.
Only you have the ability of allowing what you feel to enter your body, start setting up boundries for your self, the next time this happens, allow yourself to feel it and then go and write down your feeling right away. Do this acouple times, then, tell your self in your writing what you are going to think when this happens...a positive thing you will think of...Like..I'am an important person, I will only allow postitive statements to effect me, and I will ignore the ignorance of this person.

Doing this over and over will program your response, the brain needs you to tell it something, and not absorb someone elses thought and statements. Hope this helps, Diana