Maybe it's just me but lately, last few days, I've been so moody and easily agitated which is so unlike me. I don't suffer from pms but it isn't that time anyway. I have always been the type of person who hates to argue and doesn't like confrontation. The past few days every little thing ticks me off and I feel really grumpy. I just realized recently that I DO have a lot of stress I just never saw it as stress until it was pointed out to me by my therapist. Most of it from my kids - all boys ages 8, 14 and 17. They each have things that they do that really irritate me but I've never shown it before. Also my 17 yr old is just always in so much trouble with the law and is currently in Huntsville prison(yes prison!) at 17! He was in a youth facility for drug possession and assaulted a police officer so off to prison he went. This really worries me. Of course I feel I am a bad mother for allowing all of this to happen. His dad died 3 yrs ago and he went crazy with drugs and violence. I had no control over him but tried so hard to help him get through it.

Now I just want it all to stop! I want things to change because I am now feeling stressed out and thinking maybe that's what triggered the anxiety again. My other two boys are mamas boys and expect me to do everything for them. I'm a doormat and tired of it.

So maybe the xanax is causing the agitation or maybe it's just my life catching up with me?

Thanks for letting me vent!
Tori

I really doubt that you are a bad mom. I've witnessed friends and family who have done an outstanding job raising their children and guess what??? If they have two or three kids, one of them or even sometimes two of them seem to head down the path of destruction for some reason. There are way more things to get into trouble with now than ever before and so children are tempted every day to take the wrong steps forward and depending on their personality, they can be easily swayed to go with the wrong crowd. Kids are so stressed out now days to please society they will do most anything to get relief and it usually is alcohol or drug related and then they get into big trouble. Back when I drank as a highschool student, the police would just dump out the beer and check to make sure you got home okay, making someone else drive. I don't remember anyone getting into trouble for having pot and no one had anything but that back then either.

I don't know if it's the xanax, I'm not familiar enough with that drug, but it sounds like you have a lot to worry about right now. Seeings your son is only 17, maybe he will come out of prison a better person, it happens.

Don't give up and quit blaming yourself.

Thanks for saying that. I know in my heart I did everything I could. I took him to a therapist, family counseling, drug rehab, spent countless hours of just me and him time, talked to our pastor, etc. but he just refused to take the right path and now he's sitting in prison at 17.......just sad. I really am hoping he will come out a better person. He still has his whole life ahead of him.

Thanks again,
Tori

Sounds like stress is causing agitation to me. You have a lot on your plate. I hope your son does come out with a new found appreciation for life. I spent a night in jail and that put my whole life into perspective. Just one day in jail and my entire life took a 360. So, hopefully he will come out a changed man. Anyway, you can only do so much in life to steer your kids in the right direction. I worry about that all the time and both my children are infants. LOL. Anyway, good luck to you Tori and I hope everything works out with your son.