I am posting because I just really need to get some stuff off my chest. I lost my "bubba" in June and I am just really not coping well. He as 34 and died of a massive heart attack. He had heart surgery when he was 32 due to blocked arteries and had another heart cath in March and they told him he had no new blockages. So when he passed away it was very shocking to say the least. It is the third sibling I have had to die in 3 years, all from heart disease and all very young. I am just not having alot of luck letting go and hashing all this out. I miss him so much and he left behind 2 babies, a 4 year old and a 3 year old. It is hard for me to even go and get the kids because they want to know where there dad is and they talk about him all the time. I know I shouldn't be this way but it is so hard. I am just a wreck.

Bless your heart Jess.
I know how you feel I just lost my brother August 31st to Melanoma Cancer.He called me on Easter Sunday and told me I cried all day.He lived 5 months with no treatment it was all over him nothing could be done.But he hadn,t been sick no more than normal complaints.But he was a brave man he fought a hard battle.My sister_in_law and me sit up 3 days and nights with hardly any sleep scared he would leave us.You may think I am just crazy but I knew he was leaving about an hour before he did.He has a clock on his wall it played a sweet tune I heard this tune over and over and over in my head it wouldn,t go away until my brother passed away then I didn,t hear it anymore.I said it was music from God letting me know he would be alright and he was going home to Heaven.I have joined a nice small church and it has seemed to help me deal with his death it is still hard I cry everyday for him.But it is easier now because I know he's not hurting anymore.He's in Heaven and I know now I will see him again.:)