Hello ladies, I am new to these boards and was just peeking around at some of your posts. First of all I would like to say that I feel for you all and my prayers go out to you. I do have a few questions I would like to ask if you don't mind. What is it that drives women to have bulimia or anorexia? Is just a sickness that people get out of the blue, or is it because of the world's screwed up beauty standards and them telling women what they should look like? I was just curious because I want to understand it better. I appreciate any replies to this subject, and if anyone needs to talk. I'm here http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif Hi Sweetie!

To answer your question...

I think every case is different for why they get an eating disorder. Society might play a large role on why some people get an ED but I don't think it can be blammed. For some people, they know right from the bat what they're getting into. Those are the people that think eating disorders are in a sense 'cool' and they actually WANT to have one. But for many...this isn't the case. I developed my eating disorder after disciding not to eat as a means to control a digestive disease. I lost weight...liked it...and continued to not eat even when my disease was under control. Some people have eating disorders due to family problems, abuse, or other problems...they feel that their ED is the only thing that they can control in their life. Where as others use their ED as a means of expressing themselves by self harm. So many many factors play a role in who and why someone gets an eating disorder. Some people might say "Well if society didn't have all those pictures of super-thin women, it wouldn't be a problem." However, I disagree. Sure it might play a role but why is it that 100 girls can be looking at those thin posters, and only 10 will develope eating disorders? It's not the poster...it's the 10 girls and whatever is going on in THEIR heads. But no matter how you look at it, eating disorders are becoming more and more popular, which is very sad. Is it the media? Low self-esteem? Family life? I don't think there's one thing that contributes to an eating disorder. I think that it's all those things combined. Hope this helped. I think it's wonderful you asked. You wanting to learn more about something is wonderful. Information is knowledge.

-Carlie

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif Hi sweetie!

Of course we don't mind questions---we always welcome newbies!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

As for your questions...like Carlie said, various things can drive a woman (or man!) to an eating disorder. A lot of it has to do with control. And often times, it starts as something that we feel we CAN control, something that isn't a big deal, and then it quickly escalates and becomes a lifestyle, an addiction, and obsession...giving us a sense of release. Something we hate and feel we need at the same time.

I know a lot of ED's are also focused on fear---once they start all these fears just manifest themselves inside your head and don't let go---fear of getting fat, fear that gettign well means getting fat. Fear that if we're FAT then nobody will want us/like us/love us...etc.

At least for me, I find control in the most out of control situation. I'm bulimic---well, a bulimic on the road to recovery. My ED started when I was 14...and has taken many forms in the past 7 years. My latest bout with bulimia has resulted in a seriously dangerous state...but the love of my friends both on and off this board and boyfriend has helped me tremendously. It's something I have to do for myself, but their love and support gets me through the rough days. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Can I ask why you were curious about ED's? http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~

Hi there, http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

I think Carlie and Sarah have probably answered your question by now! (Hehe, I think those two must have read every book on the subject! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/tongue.gif JOKE!)

I also believe that the reasons behind developing an eating disorder can be very different. Personally, I DO blame the media for a big part – and as you can see each and every one of us has our own opinions about this.

Some media I believe is acceptable... however when I see photo’s of 5’11” eighteen to twenty-five year olds weighing what could be no more than 90lbs... it makes me sick. I honestly believe that the media has a HUGE part in the development of one’s eating disorder and there is no excuse for it. Although people may look at these girls and think to themselves how unattractive they really look at that weight anyway, it DOES make the more insecure girls (and boys) think about their weight. Often they may think to themselves how they could stand to lose a few more pounds – even though even that isn’t necessary. Then those few pounds won’t be enough, and neither will the next five, or the next. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

Growing up, I have ALWAYS been on the thin side. In fact, in all my life I’ve never even REACHED the ‘normal weight’ category, yet there was still a time when I began to think of myself as being too ‘fat’. I’m seventeen now, and many of the years as I was growing up I suffered a lot of emotional abuse. When I reached the age of eight, I was an incredibly self conscious person and EXTREMELY shy and timid. Around then I started worrying about things... I began to obsess about things... and I refered by one of my doctors to counseling. I didn’t know this at the time because my mother chose to keep it from me in fear of it upsetting me even more, so I never went. Unfortunately, things just got worse. At age eleven I was constantly comparing myself to others and I absolutely HATED the way I looked. At fourteen I started dieting, I would eat basically nothing all day and I developed anorexia. This just got worse and worse, and then early this year the anorexia turned into bulimia. At that time I was also diagnosed with bulimia, depression and a generalized anxiety disorder.

I have now begun my recovery but recently I have been going steadily downhill again.

My point is, this is just one way a person can develop an eating disorder. More often, a person will grow up overweight than underweight and because of this, will start that vigorous dieting that leads one into an eating disorder. This, or course, only makes up a fraction of the people as well.

Like Sarah mentioned... eating disorders are a lot about control. At some point in a person’s life they may have felt like they didn’t have control over their lives, for whatever reason. Restricting your food intake is controlling, right? Maybe for the first week of two... but not there after.

Also, many people that have been abused in some way may go on to develop and eating disorder later in their lives. This includes emotional abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse. All three make a person extremely manipulated and that person may grow up in a deep depression – which is another factor in many eating disorder.

So no, I don’t believe that this can just come up ‘out of the blue’. Of course, not all people have had something happen so extreme as physical or sexual abuse, but yes, most people will have low confidence and low self esteem... for whatever reason.

Well, I think I’ve babbled on for long enough now! Considering Carlie and Sarah had probably already mentioned it all!

Take care!
Ashlee

hiya, i think the others have answered it pretty much. I am lucky that i am not nor have been too far into an ED, although the ED thoughts haunt me all the time i can still *touch wood* manage to fight them.

Mine started with nasuea (due to CFS) and i just went off food and would stop eating just cos it felt sick, and would be sick. I learnt to associate food with feeling ill. Then my msucles got bad in my chest which caused me to vomit everything and i lost 8 pounds in 5 days, i was scared at the time but afterwards like the new look and almost got a buzz from it. I am unable to control much of my body but whati decide to eat is something i can control and i think that also adds to it all with me

The reason I was asking is because My husbands mother is either anorexic or bulimic. She won't admit it but she has been doing it for years. At my baby shower she went and threw up all her food that she ate, and when I used to live there I can hear her throwing up after she eats. She also barley eats anything, if she does it is a small salad with fat free dressing. She is about 5'5-5'6 and looks like she weighs 80 lbs. A size 0 jeans are baggy on her and she looks horrible. She always complains that she's fat. She just recently got divorced so I think it is getting worse and she doesn't want any of our help. Her doctor knows what she is doing but she has to help herself, he can't make her. I think she is trying to kill herself because not only does she have an ED, she is on tons of medications for other problems she has (too long to list). I feel bad for her but we don't get along because she doesn't really like me and always tells my husband and her family that she wishes he would of married his Ex instead of me!!! We had gotten into a big fight and I really haven't talked to her since. My husband is worried but we don't know what to do. Sorry I talked your ear off, I just wanted to let you all know why I asked those questions.

Good luck you all!!

just so you know, you can be both anoerxic and bulimic-I hope your Mother-in-Law gets the help she not only needs, but deserves.

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As long as there is life, there is hope