I haven't been around much mainly because I've been doing really bad. I've reached an all time low with a BMI of 13.4%. Right now I'm shaking. You can see my heart beating in my chest! I'm crying. I honestly don't know what to do. The thought crossed my mind that maybe I could tell my older sister, maybe so I wouldn't be alone, maybe because she could then tell me what to do. I dunno. But I feel horrible today. I'm really scared I'll die yet for whatever reason I can't bring myself to eat, much less gain weight. I'm addicted to losing weight. I need advice. Soon.

grr i just wrote a reply and deleated it


i said something like i am so sorry your going through this http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif I would be lying if i said i know what your going through or how you feel, but i do know you need help.

Do you think you can tell your sister? It maybe a very good and big start. i can't stress how much you need help, love and support from those around you, and also some medical help too

I wish i could make it better for you but i can't, so i will send some hugs and keep you in my thoughts

All my love

Vikki

Hi Carlie,
I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now. I can't imagine how scary it is. I know you probably don't want to, but maybe you should talk to your parents about going back to the hospital. I'm sure that's the last thing that you want to do but it has to be better than losing your life. You are such a wonderful person Carlie, you do not deserve to die over an eating disorder! I know that gaining weight is a scary thing, but try to think of it as gaining your life back. You are such a great person Carlie, I really hope that you get the help that you need soon. You deserve to be a happy and healthy person! I hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon!
~Jen~

I agree. This is REALLY REALLY REALLY not worth it!!!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif
PLEASE don't let it kill you. There is so much to live for. You are in physical danger right now. You need medical help. PLEASE talk to somebody.

Kathrin

(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

p.s. It is very likely that you are not thinking very rationally when you are so starved. So you really need to listen to what other people advise you to do. PLEASE talk to somebody.

Kathrin

Hey hon,
I know all to well were you are at. I have been there myself (not at such a low weight, but worried that my ED behaviors was going to kill me). Hon, as long as there is breath left in your body there is hope for you to get better. You are right, this could very well kill you, and at such a low weight that possiblity is even greater(I think), but hon, I hope you can keep on fighting. Do you have someone you can talk to? Are you in therapy? Would you be willing to go into a hosptial until you stablize?
I'm not sure what else to say.
Take Care and God Bless.

------------------
As long as there is life, there is hope

Carlie, I am so very sorry for what you're going through right now... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif It hurts me to know that one of my friends here at this board is on so much pain right now... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

Carlie... you are in danger right now - I know that you understand this. But you also need to realise that you ARE going to need help to get better. Your ED has been getting worse lately, hasn't it? Please don't deny that as it will only make thngs worse for you. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

You need to get professional help. Maybe at the moment counselling isn't enough on it's own? Remember how much better you felt about everything last time you came out of the hospital? You were so possitive about EVERYTHING - everyone always noticed. You really had your mind set for recovery. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif That was great. Please talk to your sister - I'm sure she can help you. And your parents! I know you've always said how supportive your parents were of you and your recovery - they're on your side, Carlie! Let them know what's going on so that they can help you. If you need to go back into the hospital, then so be it. Like a previous poster said, it's better than dying...

Take care of yourself, Carlie.

Ashlee

hi, im sorry for what your going through, but you must realise whether you want to live or not, your in a confused mental state right now, and you need to seek professional help if you cant overcome the problem otherwise, which is rare, trust me, see a professional

((((((((((( http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif CARLIE http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif )))))))))))

I hope you're feeling better. I haven't been around much lately, long story, so I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply!! I hope you're feeling better. i've noticed in some of the other posts that you haven't been around much lately either...well, i'm not through reading them all yet, so hopefully you have been.

Faith is right...as long as there is breathe left in your body you have the strength to fight this! LISTEN TO ME, PLEASE?? PLEASE LISTEN TO ME...YOU ARE SO MUCH STRONGER THAN THIS ED. You are an amazing person. You are so positive and help the people ont his board so so so so so much!! I would have been lost without you earlier this year, Carlie, You helped me in ways that I can not even begin to tell you.

Maybe Ashlee is right...maybe you need help other than counseling right now. I, too, remember how positive you were about recovery when you last came out of the hospital! I'm not necessarily saying that the hospital is the right place to be, but whatever helps you. You deserve the best, and one day you're going to look back on this time in your life and say "wow, look how far I've come!" I completely believe this. You just can't give in. That's the hardest part...not giving in, I mean...because if you give in that means the ED wins, and you're better than that. You have such a bright future ahead of you, good luck!! Let us know how you're feeling as soon as ya have a chance. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~